maskormenacelogs | come back to me, come back to me, and say my land is fair

Entry tags:

come back to me, come back to me, and say my land is fair

WHO: see below
WHERE: see below
WHEN: Prompt #2 before Bodhi ports out to power update; others, flexible
WHAT: ALWAYS MULTILOG
1. Cas shows Jyn and Kay to each other through his memories
2. Poe and Cas get Bodhi drunk and countermand the imposter
3. Take Two of drinking with Han only this time with backup
4. Cas meets a flying Stark (and possibly a grizzly Mormont) [multi]
5. hunting Gem not knowing it's Gem or that she exists, but Sabriel may help [multi]
WARNINGS: None yet? But y'know, these guys… (Will update as necessary)

1. through my eyes (Neojedha - closed to K-2SO and Jyn Erso)
2. damage repair (De Chima #003/elsewhere - closed to Bodhi Rook and Poe Dameron)
3. the sort of thing friends do (Han's choice - closed to Han Solo, Lando Calrissian, Luke Skywalker)
4. the beauty of alien worlds (woods in De Chima - attn. Sansa Stark)
5. nothing to go on, going anyway (Maurtia Falls - attn. Sabriel, Gemini de Mille, OPEN)
6. anything at all (anywhere - anyone)

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Turns out you were 100% of the reason Kay and I could co-exist as peacefully as we did, Jyn'd said. You were our translator, our buffer, our mediator.

Am I, though…? Or am I also the need for a mediator and a buffer…?

Jyn and Kay had a lot to drive each other crazy, but by the same token, a lot that could bind them. Cassian suspected the main problem was their relationship hinging largely on himself.

He'd wondered if there was a way to show them one another through his eyes.

…and of course there was…

It was a ridiculous idea. But so had reprogramming Kay from the start. So had the mission to Scarif. So had every time he went off mission to keep Jyn with him.

What the hell.

Cassian invited them both to Neojedha after closing. It felt like the right place. Private, theirs, but not the house Kay had been avoiding, where tensions between Kay and Jyn seemed to have come to a head, where they all associated with Jyn and Cassian being… (nevermind that they had also in Neojedha and the woods and random places around—) …intimate. —at least: domestic.

And the meditation area under the inscription of Chirrut's name…

Where better to go on a vision quest.

Edited 2017-08-20 05:05 (UTC)

[from here]

Cassian deliberately let the door make a clunk to announce his arrival. The surprise element was Poe in the doorway right behind him.

Bodhi wouldn't know it, who knew if Poe would, but Cassian adopted the affect and nearly the wording he'd heard Kes Dameron use several times on glum teammates. "On your feet, Rook. We're here to inebriate you."

Edited 2017-08-20 05:05 (UTC)

If the desired effect is startling him, well, Cassian certainly did so. Bodhi glances up sharply, ignoring the way his heart briefly jackhammered up into his throat. He blinks, looking between Cassian, and Poe, standing right next to him. "What?" His words take a moment to sink in.

"We're going drinking, I take it." Well, he wasn't going to complain, or protest this kind of outing. He clambers up on his feet, adjusting his collar as he does so.

Poe grins, though he doesn't recognise the phrase belonging to his father, it is certainly one he agrees with.

"That's right, pilot. On your feet."

Cassian smiled, clapped a hand around Bodhi's shoulders to shepherd him between them, and through the door.

It wasn't until they were well ensconced in a cozy booth in a De Chima pub (going smaller and quieter for Bodhi, admittedly for Cassian, and for the instigating circumstance) with first round in hand that Cassian said, "Poe showed me what… that… whatever that was pretending to be me… said to you, while I was gone."

Once they're well situated (Bodhi appreciates the setting, loud and crowded wasn't always better, in his book). There's a drink in his hand, halfway to his mouth when Cassian brings up the conversation. He looks between the two of them and takes his drink, shrugging.

"Oh, that." He looks somewhat sheepish, embarrassed even. "Yeah, um. I should've known better than to think that was you. He just--" Got to him? "Sorry."

"Bodhi, you do not apologize. That piece of bantha dung was working hard to upset everyone. He's the only one who should feel sorry." It wasn't even in question, for Poe. He still wanted to punch that guy in the face.

Sorry, Cassian.

For what? Cassian wholeheartedly agrees.

"He got to me too," said Cassian grimly. "Hearing my own voice say that fierfek…" A Huttese expletive that was similar enough to a Jedhan one as to not necessarily offend Bodhi but also make the point. "Human minds—most sentient minds—are strange. We can know, abstractly, something isn't real. But if there's a good anchor, like a voice, it'll still register as real. It'll take work to stop feeling it."

More carefully (tentatively?) than before, Cassian put his hand on Bodhi's shoulder. "Work you should not have to do. So I'm gonna try to help offset it a bit."

He let himself show the concentration, of recalling beat for beat exactly what the imposter had said. So he could cancel out every lying insult in his fake voice, with his real voice saying the truth. (Thank you for being here, Poe. This needed another witness. For both of them.)

"Being scared isn't the opposite of bravery: it's its requirement.
"I knew you… an hour? before you impressed me with how much you'd been through and how determined you were not to put that on anyone else. You didn't know me either and tried to spare me your pain. I wish I'd told you how remarkable that was.
"You've never expected anyone to carry you. Even when we'd be so happy to.
"You have never bothered me—nor Jyn—nor Kay—and I don't know if you know how exceptional it is that Kay complimented you twice in a day; he doesn't even do that for me. He is hard to impress and you did. But anyway… in terms of 'bothering'… if you ever managed to (which would be astonishing), you'd still be worth it. There are worse things than being bothered. Just means you care about something.
"None of us are ever going to want you to leave. Our lives, the house, Neojedha, any of it. They're yours as much as ours. Even if you somehow managed to do something we found harder to cope with than any of the things we already do to ourselves. Which would be impressive. Anyway. I hear that's what happens in families."

That last needs a moment. As will the next. So Cassian pauses. Weighs his drink a moment in his hand.

At last, quietly, "As to whether you did or didn't follow my orders on Scarif.

"My order to you was: 'Keep the engine running.'

"That's it. You did it. I never said 'get us out alive'. I knew you wouldn't be able to. No one could. That was never the plan. You were our only way out of there… so I said it aloud to give everyone the daydream that it could happen. None of us believed it. We didn't have to. Daydreams don't have to come true to serve their purpose, which is to make what's happening easier to deal with. I said it aloud also so that you wouldn't forget how valuable and important you were and that we trusted you. Not to put the burden on you of thinking it had to happen. I'm sorry for that. You obeyed my order. You didn't fail.

"In fact… you succeeded so many times. Every step of the way… it was all you. We couldn't have done any of it without you. And unlike the rest of us, you chose it. Our lives were stolen. You chose to give yours up. Because you saw the sort of things that had been done to people like us.

"I will fight anyone who tries to say you're a coward or a failure for that. Including 'myself'. Including you."

Edited 2017-08-27 15:45 (UTC)

Bodhi looks from Poe, after his outburst -- somewhat startled, and then to Cassian. He stared down at a drop of condensation on the bottle, and then up at both men again. Searching for any sign that this wasn't just some other imposter, but he continued and his doubts on that were quelled and quieted as Cassian spoke, directly to him. There's no cruelty in his voice, but genuine kindness and honesty.

Bravery had never come easy to him, when he'd been on the shuttle on Scarif, he hadn't felt guilty about remaining out of the battle, and had in turn felt guilty for not feeling any kind of guilt. Doubt came easier, second guessing -- thinking the worst of every possible situation. He'd not been able to sway Saw into believing him despite his very real desperation, and determination -- hadn't stopped him from being tortured, but he'd flown them into Scarif - had helped to get through to the Rebels not because he believed in himself.

But because he had to. Failure wasn't an option when there was so much on stake that he had to accomplish.

Listening to Cassian now, it wasn't going to undo all the doubt and the low self worth instilled over years of conditioning. When you're only useful for the job you do, or as disposable as the thousands of others in your position... Only the officers were exempt from knowing this. What it was doing was giving him an idea of just how much he meant to them, and them to him -- a family, that's what he'd just called them. Jyn. Cassian. Kay. He counted his new friends, as well.

And to that last part... "I think I knew it, that we weren't going to... but I'd still hoped. It was just easier to blame myself."

Another by product of the conditioning, perhaps. We couldn't have done it without you. Had anyone ever praised him so much as this? A mediocre student, and then a low level cargo pilot just trying to make enough to get by?

If the way his eyes burn in a way that's not at all related to the alcohol already in his system, it's unlikely. "Alright, I get it. You don't have to fight me, for me to get it. You both planned this conversation, didn't you?"

Thank you.

Poe just drank quietly, feeling decidedly a third wheel in the conversastion, though he listened carefully. Scarif was legendary, in the Rebellion. Keep the engine running. Of course he'd never known exactly what happened on the planet surface. No one really did. The transmission was sent, but the Death Star had ended whatever rescue could have possibly happened. It was spoken of as a suicide mission, because, in the end, it was.

So it was very strange listening to two veterans - two veterans who had died there - talk about it.

When Bodhi spoke to them both, Poe only gave a lopsided smile and used his drink to gesture in Cassian's direction. "His idea, not mine. Don't give me any credit for it."

Cassian can read body language and microexpression; doesn't matter that what Bodhi actually said was meant to undercut and diffuse, the way he said it—or things around the way he said it—makes Cassian's eyes crinkle and soften as he grins. And his shoulder relax too.

Allowing, for one thing, him to lightly punch Poe in the shoulder. No, no credit at all. Only for being a rock for all of us and helping everybody and living up to/making us remember what it's like to call the Rebellion home. Maybe some of that will come through just in the gesture. 'Cause Cassian's definitely speeched out for the moment.

"Insofar as yes," was all he said. "That can be the end of it if you like." More unspoken: I won't bring it up but you can.

"Yeah, well... I'm glad that you're here." To Poe, directly because he wants to make sure he knows how much the other man being here -- for him, for his friends, means to him, as much as Cassian's words.

To that, he nods. Appreciate that. "So, uh." Bodhi raises his glass. "A toast?"

Cassian had meant, for a while, to make up to Han somehow the disaster of their last night out. Not that the disaster had been of either of their making; but Cassian was aware that the worst part had likely been his own (over-)reaction afterward, cutting everyone out of his life for weeks. Probably making Han feel like the whole thing was his fault. It hadn't been, and Cassian didn't want Han to think anything was held against him. Between the trigger, the outbreak of combat, being wounded, then being forcibly exPorted, Cassian hadn't managed it. Han invited him now and Cassian was going to make it up.

But just in case Cassian did slip into… being himself, he'd suggested they ask Luke and Lando along too. He didn't know if Luke would clam up when drinking the way Cassian did, but he had a feeling the double act of Solo and Calrissian would make up the difference for anyone else.

Another thing to make up for: all the friendly gatherings with colleagues and comrades, over the course of his Separatist and Rebel existence, that he'd slipped away from, or never gone to in the first place. All the connections he'd prevented making. He'd had to be willing at any moment to give up his life, so he'd led a life worth losing. This time, with Jyn, with Kay, with the dojo, with everyone, was an exercise—a mission—in trying a life worth keeping.

The way it ended aside, Han did like the last time he and Cassian went out together. It wasn't such a bad night, and he'd even gotten to tell him some of his better stories, though without Chewie around to back him up there was a little something missing. Lando and Luke coming along this time might help his storytelling better, maybe even better than the booze.

And there is a lot of it. Han's on his third shot by now, and his tongue has loosened just enough that he's feeling a little chatty. He downs the shot, wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand, and looks at Cassian.

"The Screaming Citadel," he says, suddenly. "I ever tell you and Lando about that?"

As long as he had Jyn and Kay, Cassian didn't care about other living conditions. The house they've been given is more than he's ever had before, more than he would have expected. (And a major counterargument to Constellation. Weigh all their largely theoretical grievances against the very tangible assets, protections, and care imPorts are given, in practice, freely—more than most nations or planets give their own war veterans.)

Cassian could leave it in a moment as long as he had the others with him.

Three major reasons he won't unless forced: 1) Bodhi. 2) Veronica. 3) The Virginian forest.

The woods behind the house, seamless with their backyard, might be Cassian's favorite thing (so far) about the little he's seen of this world. The trees are not so dense that the forest floor is lifeless, everything interesting reserved for the canopy. But the canopy is rich with animal sounds and glimpses; the undergrowth fascinating to his alien eyes, sun and shade dancing throughout the day.

He likes walking in them whenever he can. He's slept in them a few times, in clearings under the stars. He likes walking alone, but he likes walking with the others better.

He likes walking with Jyn, playing what they imagine the actual children's versions are of games they'd learned as survival or combat exercises; lying down with her and sleeping or… not sleeping.

He likes walking with Kay, talking the way they used to across co-pilots' seats looking at hyperspace; finding dead limbs, or even whole trees, for Kay to pull down before they fell on anyone and pulverize into fertilizer for the surrounding flora; (Kay's favorite) go to the rockier areas and smash up boulders, nominally to make hiking paths (though they probably should get some kind of clearance from the local government; nobody's complained), satisfying Kay's original programming in a way even the Rebellion had never allowed.

Cassian's walking alone this time. And sees something he's never seen before.

Edited 2017-08-20 06:09 (UTC)

It has taken Sansa a little while to gain the kind of control that she feels comfortable with when it comes to her wings but there is no denying the practice has done her wonders as she flies just above the tree tops of the forest near the farm. Flying is usually how she travels between the farm and the one that Jon is slowly turning into a shelter. Yes, she is dedicating a lot of time to the project but she still mostly credits him with everything going on.

Today, she is taking her time in getting there as she is enjoying the flight. She gives the large, nearly black wings a flap before cutting up to gain some height. At first, she stares upwards to an invisible target before glancing down at the trees which now seem smaller than they had a few seconds before.

Then she catches a bit of movement, her lashes fluttering as she spies someone standing below and looking up. It is enough to have her catching her breath and immediately moving into a dive like she is trying to drop out of sight.

The figure below starts waving his arms and shouting something that might have been dismay at startling her, or might have been a warning. …Perhaps for the flock of birds that had been resting in the canopy below her that suddenly took off right in her vector.

Even though she had dipped out of sight, he would hear a startled noise followed by a screeching chorus from the birds as they changed their own flight patterns, scattering apart like a popped balloon until they gathered together a bit higher in the sky.

Sansa landed on the ground just a few feet from where he was, sputtering a bit as she stretched her wings and pushed some hair back from her face. She had escaped the near collision with the flock of birds without too much hassle but it had been more than a little startling as she could still feel her heart racing.

Folding her wings after checking them over to make sure they were okay, she looked ahead to the sound of rustling branches that signalled someone was coming closer. She was going to assume that it was the figure she had seen trying to warn her of the birds but she still looked wary as she waited.

…Truth could be complicated. At the very least, it could be multifaceted. More than one thing could be honest or true at a time. This comes very much into play when you're taught things like microexpressions and fine control body language. How to read it in others, how to control your own. (Also when you're so meticulously ~~programmed~~ trained that you forget how to have any unmeasured reaction. Everything is a choice.)

So it's not an act, not a lie, but it is a choice—among the varied genuine feelings, picking this one to project rather than suppress: that Cassian makes his careful approach to her look more hesitant than stealthy. He steps on a twig and pushes a bough aside, creating noise and motion to clearly warn of his coming.

He arrives in sight of her, stopping more than a respectful distance away.

He doesn't actually seem thrown by the wings.

"Are you okay? Did I cause that?"

Despite knowing that someone is nearby, Sansa's heart still races when she hears the twig snapping under the man's weight and the bushes seem to shake before he appears. Knowing they are alone makes her nervous, especially given that they are in the middle of the woods, but she tells herself that she isn't defenseless anymore. That she can actually fight back if she needs to.

Then she reminds herself that not everyone is Joffrey or looking to hurt her.

"Not at all." She answers when he stops a few feet away from her, making it clear that he has no intention of coming closer at the moment. It helps her to relax a little. "I should have been paying attention. Thank you for the warning, it saved me from having a worse problem than running into a few branches."

The mission may be having a life.

But there is now a task.

While he was gone, someone impersonated him, and tried to hurt his friends.

There's so little to go on. The transmissions themselves, downloaded from Poe, Cassian's watched over and over, but they give very little clues to the impersonator's real identity. The only conclusion Cassian can draw so far is that this isn't a clone. Luke's clone hadn't known Luke's friends, hadn't pretended to be the same person, hadn't been aware there even was another Luke Skywalker. No, this had been targeted. And though the impersonation (thank the Force) hadn't fooled those closest to Cassian for long, it had been better than it should have been. Someone who may not have learned many of the details of his life, but who had certainly observed his way of delivery and mannerisms. Who, what, was that?

If anyone's targeting him, it might be related to several incidents, all of which occurred in Maurtia Falls. Which is also where Cassian is most tapped in to the community, savory and un-, and can try surveying, even with so little to go on. Just start poking at rock piles and see if anything popped out.

Recent events might have proven a distraction, but Sabriel hadn't forgotten the death of a local at the hands of an imPort who had managed to impersonate the woman after her death. Instead, she'd tried to keep investigating in her spare time, looking for some other signs of who was responsible.

It seemed she wasn't the only one looking. So she'd arranged a meeting in one of Maurtia Fall's less shady restaurants, wearing casual clothes for once.

The connection had been made through a Neojedha kid's family, about that same murder.

Cassian found the place, the probable person, and paused opposite her before sitting. They hadn't established a formal sign-countersign, but… "Are you waiting for me?"

"I'm waiting for a Mr. Andor, yes," Despite her youth, Sabriel's tone was curt and authoritative.

He nodded (not a 'captain' anymore) and sat. "And you're Sabriel. Thank you for meeting with me."

"I'm always happy to meet with my fellow imPorts," And with that Sabriel heads straight to business.

"This case was... strange. Normally murders aren't too hard to solve when you can speak with the dead, but the victim never saw her attacker's face."

Can speak to the dead… In many worlds last universe, he'd met many beings who'd claim as much, and there was always something not as advertised. In this world, between the powers and being resurrected himself (…twice?) plus that Sabriel is doing him a favor, not trying to get him to agree to anything, Cassian accepts it at face value.

"I guess that's not the strange part?" It was easy to kill someone without them seeing your face. He hated how well he knew that.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

come back to me, come back to me, and say my land is fair

1. through my eyes (Neojedha - closed to K-2SO and Jyn Erso)

2. damage repair (De Chima #003/elsewhere - closed to Bodhi Rook and Poe Dameron)

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I CAN CHANGE if this is too fast forwardy!!!!

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3. the sort of thing friends do (closed to Han Solo, Lando Calrissian, Luke Skywalker)

SO THIS IS LATE apologies this slipped my mind

4. the beauty of alien worlds (woods in De Chima - attn. Sansa Stark, Jorah Mormont)

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apologies for the slow response!

me too!!

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5. nothing to go on, going anyway (Maurtia Falls - attn. Sabriel, Gemini de Mille, OPEN)

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6. Anything, anywhere, anyone