( OPEN ) We go where we want when we want to

[itistolaugh]

WHO: Harley, hyenas, and you!
WHERE: All Porter cities
WHEN: August 12 - 31
WHAT: Harley is taking the hyenas around the Porter cities for some exercise and sightseeing. Come meet her special boys.
WARNINGS: None apply. Will update as needed.

Bud and Lou are city-raised and used to indoor spaces and busy streets, but that doesn't mean they can go without rigorous exercise. At nearly one hundred and ninety pounds of muscle each and standing three feet at the shoulder, Harley's babies are quite the sight on the ends of their leashes. They are unmuzzled and eagerly snap and sniff at anything that might be food — trash, dropped lunches, pigeons — but attend quickly to her scolding if they poke their big ol' noses where they shouldn't be.

She takes them from one Porter city to the next, getting them used to the new method of travel and finding the best places to let them roam. Sometimes, when they show no sign of wearing out, she puts on skates and lets them pull her along at their own pace. There may be one or two bystanders who fall victim to a hyena pushing through crowds or clothesline by a leash stretched to its limit. But hey, at least they aren't trying to eat anyone!

When it gets later in the day and their energy is spent to manageable, Harley takes them to whatever large park is closest and lets them rest while she contacts their scheduled play dates.

Comments

[h2no]

Mightyena is the same size as the two Good Boys, but significantly lither. They have almost one hundred pounds on the Pokémon, but that doesn't stop it from immediately bounding up to them when it catches their scent making a noise similar to the odd chittering laughing sounds Hyenas make. Mightyena, after all.

It's not on a leash - trained well enough to not need to be - and Archie jogs along after it, though he has the pokéball out and ready to return it should there be a problem.

"Hey, Harles! Ahh, they're even better in person!"

[itistolaugh]

The hyenas react before Harley notices Archie and Mightyena approaching. Bud rumbles an alert, which sends Lou into a whooping frenzy running circles around the little family. Lou runs up to meet Mightyena for a ritual sniff, while Bud hangs back and paces between the strangers and mama.

Harley makes cooing noises at her nervous boy and waves hello.

"I haven't seen Mightyena yet! You've been holdin' out on me, Arch!"

[h2no]

"I've been busy!" he laughs, letting the hyenas do their thing. Mightyena whoops back, panting and wagging its tail.

"Which ones have ya seen, again?"

[itistolaugh]

"Just Muk, and now this handsome boy."

Lou leaves his brother behind to play with new! Friend!! Bud huffs and sulks a few more moments, until it becomes apparent that Harley is perfectly fine with these strangers, and he wanders off to supervise the play. Not engage right away. He's too cool for school.

"He'll warm up eventually."

[h2no]

"Aw, shit! I gotta show you Crobat and Sharpedo some time!" he says with a laugh, watching the two hyenas and the hyena-like Pokémon.

"When he's ready, he's ready. How long have you had 'em?"

don't you dare ask me to define comics timelines into real time

[itistolaugh]

"Since they were babies."

She watches their children play with a critical eye, ready to shut it down if anyone (Bud) gets bitey or wants to turn play fighting into real fighting, but she does shoot Archie some serious side eye.

"Did you say bat? I'll pass on that one."

hey can you define comics timelines into real time for me real quick

[h2no]

"Aw," he coos, watching them, before looking over at Harley in confusion.

"Don't like bats? I didn't imagine that... well, no problem. I got Sharpedo, still."

just take a big shit directly on the concept of linear time and there you go

[itistolaugh]

She shrugs one shoulder. "Well, you know. A guy dressed like a giant bat can only break your boyfriend's jaw so many times before you get a thing about it. Your bat isn't into punching, is it?"

[h2no]

"Uh..."

Goddamn, Batman.

"He doesn't have hands, so no. Not big into punching. You mean Batman, right? Someone called on me for loitering, once. I was just feedin' Crobat and he acts all high and fuckin'-- ugh, never mind."

[dirtyredneck]

Daryl shows up pretty fast once the text comes that they're around and willing to play. He's had a lot of shit happen recently and needs a moment of relaxing. Hyenas probably weren't the best for that if he'd given it any thought, but hell if they weren't distracting.

He arrived on foot and with a pair of rabbits dangling from one hand as promised. He's not entirely sure if he should just chuck the treats toward them or wait for Harley to give the okay, so instead he hangs back. Just far enough from them that the scent of dead rabbit wasn't immediately noticeable given the wind's current direction. He didn't exactly want the guys to jump him even if he would like to have a chance at petting them.

"Hey. Brought a snack," he called out to grab Harley's attention.

[itistolaugh]

Harley had claimed a nice shady spot in the park and was lounging with her boys under a tree. She sat up when Daryl called out and put her hands on the hyenas' backs to keep them calm. They whined, a noise not unlike a moo, but stayed put at her command.

"Hey, come on over! They've had a big workout and dinner, so they're in a good mood."

She ruffled their ears and cooed to keep them nice and calm.

"Just toss the rabbits when you get close."

sorry for the long time between, just got off hiatus. if you'd rather not continue, I'll understand

[dirtyredneck]

Daryl moved closer slowly, and when he was a few feet out, he took the rabbits and swung them over one at a time. Each landing in front of one of the two within seconds of the other so there'd be very little reason to fight. He waited until they were going at 'em to start moving again.

"Safe to come near?"

[airshow]

[ James is out running important grown up errands (read: trying to find a shop in downtown Heropa that sells googly eyes on the cheap) when he spots a familiar blonde walking her pets. For a second he assumes Harley's somehow found the two ugliest dogs in the world and they match, but — no, he's fallen asleep watching Animal Planet enough times to know what's what.

He bounds across the street, dodging a hover-scooter and making sure to keep his hands out of chomping distance when he skids to a stop. ]

Puppies!

[itistolaugh]

[One hyena prances and whoops at him while the other snaps his teeth before catching a whiff of something sweet and snuffling at pockets for candy.]

Puppies!

[She is glad they are in agreement on this most important of issues. What more could possibly need to be said? Other than, ]

You can pet them if you want.

[airshow]

I do want! They're not gonna get nibbly, are they? I value my fingers.

[ There's free Twizzlers in that pocket, if that nose is feeling adventurous. He doesn't wait for an answer, anyway, before going in for simultaneous headpats. ]

[itistolaugh]

Nah. Well. ... Nah.

[They've eaten recently and James doesn't seem to be covered in blood or limping sadly behind his herd, so he's probably fine.

Once one of them finds the Twizzlers, they are both intensely searching for more sugar. If candy grew in the wild, it's all hyenas would eat. Science. Suck on that, NatGeo. Their candy quest keeps his fingers safe for now, and he can get al the headpats in he wants.]

Aren't they good babies? I ported out for a couple days and they got to come back with me.

[airshow]

[ If he can get all the headpats he wants, he's gonna go for the full two-hands earscratchy experience the second he's convinced it's safe. And— and he absolutely beams. Okay, so he's a sucker for animals. ]

They're such good babies! What are their names? Where'd you get 'em? Are they housebroken?

[failedparenting]

[It's Saturday morning, and though back home it wouldn't mean much, being forced into a schedule in this place means it's time for his daily jog. There was a moment there, in his first month here, that he would just let himself wallow in his own misery and hangover, but he realizes now that he can't let himself get in his own bed. Gotta fight back. And fighting back means staying in enough shape that he doesn't go soft.

The fact that he's also fighting a raging hangover doesn't factor into that. Nope.

The hyenas and their mommy come up on him while he isn't paying attention, so absorbed is he in concentrating on not just giving up right then and there and accepting his death calmly. It's a miracle what the sight of a goddamn wild animal will do to a person, though, and once a toothy muzzle comes into the view obscured by his hoodie, it uh. It's a surprise.]

Jesus!

[John pulls back then, stumbling to a slow stop to assess the situation.

Oh. It's the blonde. Harley? Harley.]

[itistolaugh]

[ Harley has to pull back on the leashes, because stumbling means prey and retreat means chase, and she is just not in the mood to cover up a death by mauling this early in the morning. ]

Oh hi, Cupcake! I didn't take you for a jogger.

U were right the power of hyenas is amazing

[failedparenting]

[It's just as well, because John doesn't have many qualms pulling a gun in broad daylight (or sunrise, whatever) and taking out a few escaped zoo not-dogs.]

It's J-[Oh, fuck it, nevermind.] Those things can't be legal.

[Granted, no one present is very concerned with legality, but daytime hyenas seems a little much even for this place.]

[itistolaugh]

[ Harley is absolutely not interested in knowing anymore men whose names start with J, so she doesn't press that issue. Men named J are terrible. Cupcakes are nice. Sometimes they have sprinkles. A cupcake never hurt anyone. He is now categorized as Cupcake forever in her mind. ]

You gonna call Animal Planet on me? And after I was so nice to you?

[ Y'know, maybe she should let the babies eat him after all. ]

[failedparenting]

[John can tell in her tone that that wasn't exactly the right question to ask. Normally he wouldn't care, but he's fighting death and also his stomach, and rolling over sounds good right about now. He holds his hands up, in the universal sign of "okay, Jesus, sorry".]

Sorry, sorry, just a question.

[Christ, he is far too hungover for this. Which is the status quo for most everything these days, but details.]

Don't see zoo animals out in public too much, is all.

[itistolaugh]

They aren't zoo animals. They're my animals.

[Now that their prey drive is calmed and the hyenas are leaning against her legs, panting happily, they do look like they could be big ugly dogs and not apex predators. Good babies! Good babies!! She scratches absently behind their ears.]

How're you settling in? Still punching people who try to talk to you on the street?

[failedparenting]

[There's a flash of a moment where John considers fighting her on that point, but it's becoming clear that maybe sensibility has no place here. He hadn't exactly been ready to officially designate Harley as crazy until this moment. But now he's considering it.

Considering.]

Well, yeah, but that comes standard.

[He grins, and hopes it comes through the hangover haze as charming and not a grimace.]

[itistolaugh]

[Luckily, Negan has primed her to find his face charming even when he is a garbage pile.]

I hope you don't expect to get a free lunch with a hot blonde every time.

[failedparenting]

[What a bro. Except no, fuck that weirdo.]

Uh, historically that's exactly how it pans out for me. How-

[What he almost says is "How do you think I met my wife?", but at the last moment his mouth catches the words before his brain spits them out.]

—are you? Pulled any newbies off the street lately?

[itistolaugh]

[Fuck that weirdo indeed.]

Oh no, what we had was special.

[failedparenting]

[EW.]

Oh, so assholes who punch out other assholes in broad daylight, that's your special charity case you like to work on? [He laughs, and then regrets that instantly. Uuugh.] I'm honored, really.

[And maybe there's a grain of truth to it, too. John's a cynical sonuvabitch, but a little kindness goes a long way in his eyes.]

[itistolaugh]

Everybody needs a hobby. Mine is collecting human disasters.

[ She bends down to untangle the leash from Lou's legs and give each of her good boys a treat for not murdering strangers. ]

You know that-- when you first get here, there's this room and they give you a shitty orientation speech and all that? I put one of those guys in the hospital. They made me go through a psych eval.

[ So, there's that. Some problems can only be approached with senseless violence. She gets it.]