[OPEN] Cheeseburger in paradise. Heaven on earth with an onion slice.

[shittywizard]

WHO: The residents and neighbors of MF#3, and whoever else wanders by
WHERE: The backyard of Maurtia Falls 3
WHEN: Some sunny weekend in August
WHAT: Backyard barbecue, baby!
WARNINGS: Puns and really gratuitous food descriptions.

While the backyards of the imPort housing in Maurtia Falls aren't huge, clearly #3 is making the best with what they have to offer. Between Magnus's construction skills and Taako's magic, their back porch has been modified (without a construction permit, good job boys) to accomodate an aboveground pool, and is now decorated with magic dancing lights, the pool full of novelty pool floats. Music plays from speakers pointed out the windows of the house, and the lawn is set up with a crate of frisbees, lawn darts, bocce balls, because the only good cookout games are ones that involve throwing things--clearly nothing here could possibly go wrong!

Behind the grill, Taako is grilling away, with Tina as his sous chef. They've got ribs, barbecue chicken wings, burgers, and hot dogs laid out to cook up fresh, and Tina's got a handwritten chalkboard menu up with pun names for each menu option (like "Bean There, Done That", a vegan black bean burger patty; or "You Chive Me Crazy", which is a burger topped a sour cream, cheese, and chive spread.) While Taako's grilling to order, he's outright refusing to cook hamburgers any more done than medium, and may straight up refuse to serve you if you dare order a burger well done. He's seasoning everything with an inexplicably magical looking salt shaker, too, if anyone takes notice.

Set out on a table beside the grill is a whole ton of food, all gourmet quality thanks to their combined skills and powers: BBQ potato salad with cheese and bacon, grilled pineapple salad with cilantro and feta, a Mediterranean tortellini pasta salad, grilled corn with cotija and chili-lime butter, mixed berry and watermelon salad with mint, and a heaping basket of freshly baked hot dog and hamburger buns. There's also a huge cooler full of beer, wine coolers, and soda. There's more than enough for anybody who might want to stop by! And with the delicious smells wafting out of their yard, who wouldn't?

Comments

lmk if this isnt okay

[h2no]

Oh, poor Angus. Archie laughs, takes a picture, then decides to help the poor kid. He gently pushes Jesse out the way, then crouches down to lift up Angus - holding him up and out like some kind of weird baby. Mostly so Jesse can't get back at him.

"Ah, kid. You have a little..." he places Angus on a nearby table. "...Stuff on your face."

nah, you're good!

[hellosirs]

Whoop, ok, this is a thing that's happening! Angus just kinda squeaks and hangs from Archie's grip like a ragdoll; he's friends with Magnus, so being picked up and carried around by giant ruffbois isn't a foreign experience to him, but it is a bit of a surprising one coming from someone else! It makes sense though, he's kinda been thinking of Archie as Magnus 2.0.

"If by 'stuff' you mean 'dog-slobber', sir!" he grimaces as he's sat down, and drags a damp sleeve across his face. It just kinda smears the drool across his glasses, and he starts trying to clean them off on the edge of his pressed shirt, squinting. "Thank you for your assistance back there, though, it was very much appreciated!"

[h2no]

"Yeah, that's exactly what I meant. Oof!"

He laughs, then reaches over and grabs a handful of paper towels.

"What does Magnus feed that dog?"

[hellosirs]

"Hamburgers, I think," Angus says, completely serious as he wipes off the lenses with the offered paper towels. "Or maybe rocks, he's pretty heavy. I've tried walking him a few times, and when he doesn't want to go anywhere, it's like trying to move a statue."

When Jesse does want to go somewhere, Angus just gets dragged along for the ride, because he's pretty much made of spaghetti noodles.

[h2no]

"Big dogs get pretty muscular when they're cared for properly," Archie comments, the implication clearly being that Magnus is a good dog-daddy.

"You should go get changed, that..." Stinks, honestly. "Looks uncomfortable."

[hellosirs]

"... Oh, wait, hang on." Angus bops his forehead with the heel of his hand in the universal signal for 'oh, duh', and fishes a dinky little wand out from under his dress shirt (it's hanging from a lanyard around his neck!). "I've got this, sir!"

He mumbles something under his breath, and casts Prestidigitation on himself with a wave of his wand. It takes a few castings for him to be totally dried off and not smelling like dogbreath, but he gets there eventually!

[h2no]

"Angus," Archie says, stepping back to give him room while he gets it done.

"That is the coolest shit I have ever seen. I'm being entirely honest with you."

[hellosirs]

"Oh! Um... thank you sir, that's very kind!" Angus hops off the table and wrings the last of the dog-slobber out of his shirt, looking away to hide his reddening face.

"... But also, you have a pet shark that lives in a pocket dimension, and that seems way cooler than being able to clean up little messes, objectively speaking!"

[h2no]

"But that's all normal for me!"

He claps Angus on the shoulder lightly.

"I've never seen anything like that before! Cool shit, little man!"

[hellosirs]

He's used to getting friendly thumps on the shoulder from Magnus, who basically has giant baseball mitts for hands, so Angus braces himself for impact, and kinda just blinks in confusion when it doesn't come.

"... Thank you! I'd sort of assumed that the pocket-sharks were magic, or at least the way you store him, is that not the case?"

[h2no]

"It's technology! The beam turns it into data and no, I don't know how that works," he says, casually.