[ kavinsky flops over, and while there's the anxiety that he'll just fuck off and never talk to him again, there's something that calms, at least reluctantly. turning on his side, murphy watches kavinsky as he talks, hand moving to prop up his head, and things feel almost comfortable for a second, murphy rolling his eyes with a snort. ]
I'm a half gay 17 year old, and I was drunk. I would've crawled up the freaking President's leg if he invited me to at the time. [ teenagers fuck, like, a lot. he's actually one of the less sexually active people of the original 100 that dropped, but even he has to hump something every few minutes. add copious alcohol to that and someone literally throwing themself at him and you're not really going to get an innocent outcome. do he find ronan attractive? yeah, he has the body of an underwear model. does he want to fuck him? no. ronan's practically a big brother. but that hardly matters to kavinsky at this point, he'd seen what he'd seen and there's too much attached to ronan for him to separate it. ] Is there ever going to be a time you stop measuring me on the Ronan scale?
[ probably not. at least, not any time soon, as infuriating as that is, murphy can understand the weight of history. ]
You know what we did when we got back stage? Started talking about you. He thinks I'll never matter to you. [ i'd like to, is the part left unsaid. he knows he matters to ronan, and that's good and sweet and fulfilling in it's own way, but it isn't the same as the way he wants to matter to k. reaching out, murphy touches kavinsky's chin, moving his head to look at him, as he sets his chin on k's shoulder. ] Hey. I'm sorry.
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I'm a half gay 17 year old, and I was drunk. I would've crawled up the freaking President's leg if he invited me to at the time. [ teenagers fuck, like, a lot. he's actually one of the less sexually active people of the original 100 that dropped, but even he has to hump something every few minutes. add copious alcohol to that and someone literally throwing themself at him and you're not really going to get an innocent outcome. do he find ronan attractive? yeah, he has the body of an underwear model. does he want to fuck him? no. ronan's practically a big brother. but that hardly matters to kavinsky at this point, he'd seen what he'd seen and there's too much attached to ronan for him to separate it. ] Is there ever going to be a time you stop measuring me on the Ronan scale?
[ probably not. at least, not any time soon, as infuriating as that is, murphy can understand the weight of history. ]
You know what we did when we got back stage? Started talking about you. He thinks I'll never matter to you. [ i'd like to, is the part left unsaid. he knows he matters to ronan, and that's good and sweet and fulfilling in it's own way, but it isn't the same as the way he wants to matter to k. reaching out, murphy touches kavinsky's chin, moving his head to look at him, as he sets his chin on k's shoulder. ] Hey. I'm sorry.