maskormenacelogs | (no subject)

WHO: Kenzi and OPEN free for all at the house
WHERE: Residence #004
WHEN: 2/12 - 2/13; Around midnight or so
WHAT: Kenzi's finally back from her tantrum about being brought back.
WARNINGS: Language, possibly drunken-ness, maybe violence? Also spoilers I guess.

The hour was late when Kenzi finally decided to return home. She'd been gone since the previous morning, a twenty-four hour port out that had actually been two years to her. Two long years fill with all the crazy Fae shit she'd missed and not missed at the same time.

She'd spent the day as secluded as possible, destroying wildlife and screaming her lungs out. A whole day trying to get her rage to subside but it did little good. Nothing could change the fact that she was here instead of back home torturing the man that had taken her future away from her. That she was here at all...

She'd flown back, barefoot, dirty, leaves and twigs still stuck in her hair, and most of all she was starving. The only thing on that list that mattered at that very moment was getting some food into her and then follow it up with alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.

She came in silently, hoping to find everyone had gone to bed. She didn't want to see anyone until she was ready.

((feel free to respond in brackets if that's more comfortable, I don't mind matching))

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But she is selfish, she knew that and her desire for power ended up costing her everything she held dear. She envied the Fae and their long lives and their abilities. She wanted to be like them, perhaps to help her friends but also because she didn't like being just the human.

She's always been selfish. She didn't just steal to survive, she stole things she wanted simply because she wanted them. She could claim she's a klepto all she wanted but the truth was that she wasn't, she was just a thief that wanted money and power.

"I am." She said softly as she lowered her head. "I am."

"Kenzi..."

He stood by the side of couch feeling absolutely useless. What did he say? What could he say? He fumbled and tripped over the words in his mind over and over. Providing comfort to others, no matter how much he cared for them, had never been his forte.

"It's..." What? "I'm sure you tried to save Bo with that power."

"This isn't about Bo!" She couldn't hold back her anger and the coffee table suffered for it as it appeared to flip on it's own.

"It's always about Bo but this, this isn't about her. This is about my need to prove myself and it ending in the death of the man I was going to marry. He died because of me." The tears had already started while she spoke but once she fell silent they kept going. She sunk back against the couch and stared at the floor as she brought her shaking hands to her face.

"Kenzi Wha...!"

Gil rushed back a few feet, startled and to avoid the table hitting him. He gasped aloud as well as he had never seen that display of power from her before. As usual, the lack of pain in his left hand went unnoticed while preoccupied with other things.

Despite avoiding the table, it felt like he had been smacked by it in the face anyway.

That ring she kept playing with was an engagement ring, he realized. A prelude to vows she would commit to when the time came.

The next part, Gil wondered if he misheard.

"What do you mean?"

Edited 2014-02-16 06:14 (UTC)

Kenzi pulled her feet up onto the couch and curled forward. Her body shook with the effort to contain her sobbing. It wasn't doing much good and it took her a few moments before she could respond.

"He's dead. Ha-Hale's dead." The words were muffled as she didn't try to lift her head up.

Silence, only punctuated by the sound of breathing and the soft and rhythmic mechanical whir of the refrigerator entering another cycle.

Gil's mouth hung open, but he said nothing. He didn't know if there was anything he could say to comfort Kenzi.

"I'm sorry." It was all he could muster, his shoulders sagging as he exhaled through his mouth.

Kenzi's form stiffed when Gil spoke. She was so tired of hearing those words. Those "I'm sorry"s that could have been "Congratulations" but, no, she'd ruined that.

She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath to avoid sending anymore furniture flying around the room. "There's nothing I can do now." She softly, sounding defeated.

"Even...even if Massimo showed up here killing him would do no good." Not if the old rules applied, which she assumes they do. Then again, even if he didn't stay dead it wouldn't stop her from torturing him.

He couldn't tell her whatever she wanted to hear. If her fears were imagined or true, Gil didn't know. And that made him feel worse, his heart heavy in his chest. He was completely useless.

He did startle a little at her mention of killing that Massimo person.

"... It wouldn't change anything," he said, unable to meet her heartbroken gaze. "But you can't blame yourself."

It wasn't about the rules of death. Vengeance wouldn't bring back the man she loved if he was truly gone.

"No but it'd make me feel a hell of a lot better to make him suffer." There was a growl behind those words. Everyone had stopped her from killing him, even Vex who she thought didn't have any morals.

She shot up from the couch, one knee still on it while her other foot was on the floor. "Massimo was dead! Bo killed him and then he came back because I gave him the Twig of Zamora. The little trinket that Hale gave me to protect me ended up saving that little asshole's life! Twice!" Her voice rose and the table flipped again, this time just onto it's side instead of completely over but it was clear she wasn't doing a good job at keeping her anger in.

"Kenzi — slow down." He managed not to raise his voice as she began to yell, spitting forth names and terms he didn't comprehend. He lurched back momentarily. "I'm sorry about your loss, but please..."

High tensions weren't going to make any of this better. And the others were likely asleep. He had to keep them in mind, too.

Kenzi collapsed to the couch again. Lucky for Gil she was running on fumes at this point. It was a wonder she was even still awake but really she just didn't want to close her eyes. It was hard to sleep when she just kept seeing the same thing over and over again.

She sat there, breathing heavily for a few moments before glancing up at Gil, only to look away with a guilty look. "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay," he mumbled quickly, increasingly self-conscious of his idleness. Should he pat her shoulders? Her head? Or was that patronizing and only going to upset her further? He continued to fret where he stood, searching his memories for what he used to do when Kenzi got upset.

This is a brand new scenario he has never had to face. What do you tell someone whose lost someone they loved? Even with Oz and Elliot, they didn't open up to each other the way others would encourage. Elliot due to the troubled relationship he had with Gil, and Oz because he tried to carry the world on those small shoulders.

"... You should get some rest."

A hug would have been nice.

"Yeah..." Kenzi mumbled as she rose, shoulders sagging. She had no real intention of sleeping and even if she did she'd probably wake up and cry until she fell back to sleep. She wasn't looking forward to it, honestly she wished she could just stop feeling entirely.

Without another word she shuffled off to her room and closed the door. She didn't lie down just yet, instead she took a few paces from her door and stared into the darkness. This room felt foreign to her, even more so than it had when they first arrived. It felt too big and smelled strange, it smelled clean and nothing like the musty attic mixed with her perfume and Hale's cologne.

It hit her how much she was going to miss him. At least back home there were little reminders, his clothes he'd left over and his smell on her pillow. But here there was nothing.

Gil weakly muttered her a good night and assured her he would clean up everything. He didn't follow her into her bedroom or down the hall, only watching her until she disappeared inside. When she did, he inhaled sharply, as if swallowing air for the first time in minutes.

He lingered by the couch, racked with guilt and concern for Kenzi before he remembered the mud tracked all over the front and kitchen. He stepped toward the carpet, bending over to roll it up and carry it into the bathroom and drop it into the tub, running hot water over it.

Steam filled the room while he drifted away in his thoughts. Hale, Massimo, Bo, the ring... So much he didn't understand. He didn't know how to help Kenzi and he hated himself for it.