JUNE CATCH-ALL

[burlyboy]

WHO: Magnus Burnsides and YOU
WHERE: All over!
WHEN: All over x2!
WHAT: A bunch of dumb bullshit right here! As with my other log (I'm done spamming now), if you want to plan anything from puppies to axe throwing, either PM me or contact me on plurk at WISDOMBITCH, and I'll be more than happy to rustle up a starter for you!
WARNINGS: None anticipated.

Comments

FOR THE TINIEST SK8ER BOI

[burlyboy]

[ When Magnus had offered to train Yuri, he'd meant it whole-heartedly. It was only afterwards, sitting around and pondering how to do it, that he realized that it's been a few years since he's had to train anyone. And all of that training had been on the fly, looking at whatever equipment they had on hand - a rake? a hoe? an iron? a rugbeater? whatever it was, they were told it was good enough and it was used in the battlefield - and telling how best to use it to hurt someone real bad, real quick.

This is a little more well-structured than that, especially since he has a feeling that the kid won't be kicking people in the face with his skates on just yet. He figures that he can start out with the basics of what Magnus himself started out with, which is to say, a good amount of hard, physical labour.

Magnus calls Yuri and tells him to meet at a nearby park with some water, and anything else he figures he might need, and waits, his whole arsenal out in front of him, including armour, axes (only two this time), his bow-and-arrow, and the chains he's been carrying around in his pack for way too long now.

Yeah, he thinks. This is definitely good enough. ]

[beautiful_monster]

[Yuri wasn't quite sure what to expect from Magnus, but he wasn't about to pass up a chance to get some combat instruction from a guy who looked like that. It would've been like refusing to be coached by Lilia or Viktor! You just do not refuse offers from the best, whatever their field.

But he finds that he's rethinking his decision anyway when he sees what Magnus has brought along. Bad enough that he had to learn how to use his powers as a weapon, did he really need all this too?!]

What the hell are we gonna need an axe for?!

[burlyboy]

For swinging.

[ Ask a stupid question, Yuri, get a stupid answer! He's sitting on a nearby log (and it's not entirely clear if it's always been a log or if Magnus chopped it down because he didn't feel like sitting on the dirt), stretching his legs out in front of him as he speaks, looking over at Yuri as though his reaction is completely incomprehensible. ]

Don't get so riled up. C'mon, sit down.

[ He pats the empty space on the log next to him. ]

I didn't get the way I am by working out. Just by working. F'r example, you run around in armour every day, you get built, quick. You swing an axe? You get some meat on those arms. It's not like I'm asking you to hit me!

[ He grins at Yuri. ]

Not that you could.

[beautiful_monster]

[Yuri gives the axe a long, uncertain look on the way over to sit by Magnus. Surely they won't be starting with that, right? Not that the other weapons are much better. ...Well, the chains are just weird, honestly. He can't even begin to guess what those are for.

He's so distracted considering the weapons that he nearly misses the explanation about what they're for. He turns to gape up at Magnus in something like alarm.]

No shit I couldn't. And anyway, I don't want to get huge! I just want to be able to survive a fight!

[burlyboy]

Look, I'm a fighter, not a rogue. I can teach you how to take care of yourself just fine, but you're gonna need to trust me while I do things my way. Now, are you gonna trust me, or are you gonna walk?

[ Magnus is a cheerful, affable fellow, one who rarely has anything bad to say about just about anyone, but he knows what he's good at, and he knows his standards. If Yuri can't agree to at least give what he's been doing his entire life a shot, then there's no point in training him at all. ]

4 CHICO

[burlyboy]

[ Magnus has run into a problem. In order to understand this problem, you'll need to understand the sequence of events in which it happens.

1. Magnus gets assigned the job of a Private Detective.
2. Magnus attempts this job, but has all of the subtlety of a hippo in a prison cell.
3. Magnus cannot get paid for jobs he cannot accomplish.
4. He eats a lot.
5. He carves a lot.
6. He binged on HGTV and decided to take on about three home improvement projects.
7. He adopted two dogs.
8. He was suddenly surprised when he looked inside of his wallet and found absolutely nothing.

Financially speaking, things are not looking up for Magnus. So, instead of buying wood, he decides to do it himself, popping into the nearest densely wooded forest (he doesn't want to get caught, after all) with his axe in one hand and his pack slung on his back as he stomps through it, walking like a man who's done this walk before.

But things ought to be perfectly peaceful here, right? ]

[hombrenuevo]

[ Yes, good. Peaceful. All according to keikaku*. Chico's been stalking the tracks and the carnage (and the smell) of what seems to be the legitimate signs of a Sasquatch. He's been at it for two hours so far. Every piece of evidence catalogued and recorded on his tape deck.

He's fairly sure by now the UMA will be coming through this particular break in the trees. It's a pretty worn path by other animals that Chico saw. He himself is tucked in a tightly-packed bush at the base of a few trees. Perfect camouflage as he talks into his recorder. ]

It is now thirteen hundred hours. I believe the UMA will make its first appearance on camera in a matter of minutes. But I am ready. The truth will finally come to light by me, Chico Libre.


*Keikaku means plan.

[burlyboy]

[ Magnus, on the other hand, is busy doing his own thing, quietly whistling a merry little tune as he strolls through the forest, a big pile of wood carried atop his back. Hmm, he thinks to himself, looking at a particularly sturdy branch just out of reach. That would make a nice carving.

At which point, he grabs onto the highest branch he can reach with one arm and hoists himself up, feet anchored against the tree trunk and holding himself steady with one hand as his free hand reaches behind him for his axe. ]

[hombrenuevo]

[ With one gasp, Chico takes about half the forests' oxygen into him. It's using tools. Proficiently! That is some high degree of intelligence being displayed right there.

Ever so slowly, he brings up his camera through the grass and brush to record this incredible action. it's a risk that the creature may see him, but this will be ground-breaking footage in the long run. ]

FOR M

[burlyboy]

[ After a little bit of chatter, Magnus thinks to himself: why the hell aren't he and M friends? They make a good team, they've absolutely got the same sort of sensibilities, and they get along well. There's no reason why they shouldn't drink and be merry.

So one day after work, he tells the rest of his new wrestling buddies that he hasn't got time to go out with them and instead gives M a call, asking him if he'd like to meet him at a local Maurtia Falls bar. It's only a little bit better than a dive bar, complete with cracked plasticky seats and a sticky, sticky floor, but Magnus likes it there. There's beer, darts, and pool. He gets there before M does and orders a beer for himself, hunkering down in a comfortable corner booth. ]

I'm so sorry I'm the worst x.x

[heliophilic]

[M happily accepts Magnus' invitation, familiar already with the bar in question as he'd frequented it several times already. At the allotted time, he could just walk through the front door like a normal person, but where's the fun in that? Instead, an opaque golden doorway appears off to the side of one of the pool tables, and M steps out, the doorway closing behind him once he's fully through. He makesg a beeline straight for Magnus' booth without having to look around first to find him.]

I see you've started without me.

no worries!!

[burlyboy]

Just means that you'll have to catch up! [ Magnus says cheerily, lifting his glass in greeting. ] C'mon, take a load off. I seem to recall you saying that you got plenty of stories to tell.

[ And Magnus wants to hear them - same as he wants to know more about M in general, now that they're both in their right mind. He doesn't know a whole lot about the guy, but he has the feeling that they're going to be great friends. They have the same sort of sensibilities after all, and he could use being friends with someone a touch less restrained. ]

Re: no worries!!

[heliophilic]

I'm not a "load off" kind of guy. I will, however, happily drink you under the table.

[He slips into the booth after ordering a drink for himself.]

You seem like someone with a couple stories of your own.

FOR ARCHIE

[burlyboy]

[ After a while, Magnus realized that he'd never invited Archie to his place. On one hand, it makes sense that his mind wouldn't immediately go there - he hasn't had a home that wasn't a dorm on the moon for a while - but on the other hand - what the hell's he waiting for? With that in mind, he invites Archie to come over and sets out a few blocks of carving wood on the dining table, accompanied by a bottle of strong, brown liquor that a fellow wrestler had given him to commemorate his big entry into the world.

With that he whistles, calling for the big, slobbery bernese and the constantly vibrating chihuahua to come in, and the chihuahua settles on his lap and the bernese on his feet.

Yeah, he thinks. This makes for a good night. ]

[h2no]

[meanwhile, archie hadn't invited magnus to his because he lives with two - sometimes three - teenagers. that does not a fun night make. of course he says yes. he brings mightyena along with him - crobat is preoccupied with hunting while muk and sharpedo were asleep in their balls.

he knocks a little awkwardly, calling through the door:] Magnus! I only got one hand free bro!

[upon the door being opened, archie will be holding mightyena in his arms like a baby and grinning awkwardly.]

Fireworks!

[burlyboy]

Hey, buddy! [ Mightyena gets an immediate scratch beneath his chin before he addresses Archie, shouting over the din of Uncle Jesse and Alf (yes, those are their new, real names) barking as they scrabble towards the door, eager to discover the source of new smells. ] Come on in! Okay, you two, quiet. Enough of this.

[ There's a good amount of grumbling and sniffing, but they eventually quiet down long enough for Magnus to lead Archie inside and into his kitchen. ]

The little guy's scared of 'em, huh?

[h2no]

Naw. He wanted to run off and attack 'em.

[said with a fond little smile at mightyena, who whines a little. archie keeps carrying it until they get through into the sitting room, where he finally puts him down.]

Bit overzealous for his own good! What're yours called?

FOR ANGO

[burlyboy]

[ Summer brings with it a summer project, and Magnus is never one to do well while idle. Even with his dogs and his work, he's got too much free time on his hands, and the solution to that's simple: take on a project.

With that in mind, he begins building planters. He's pretty sure that he'll attach them to something out eventually, but what? He has no idea. He's so consumed in his work that when Angus contacts him, he tells him to just come round the backyard instead. Once Angus arrives, he'll notice the smell of varnish before he even opens the gate to see Magnus' makeshift work space, little more than a big tarp laid out with tools by his side. ]

Hey, Angus! [ Magnus exclaims, only looking up briefly as he rubs and varnishes his first completed planter. ] Looking good, right?

[hellosirs]

[ All he'd wanted was some peanut butter. Angus had been in the middle of making lunch when he'd run out of half the critical ingredients in a PB&J sandwich, and calling Magnus on the stone of farspeech to ask if he had any had seemed easier than bothering him in person, for some reason. It was definitely easier than going all the way to the grocery store.

In retrospect, given that it's Magnus, Angus should have known that he'd end up bothering him in person anyway. He cranes his neck to see over Magnus's shoulder (he has very big shoulders!), and gives what he hopes is a sagely, approving nod. He isn't quite sure what the planter is going to be used for, but Magnus's craftsmanship is impeccable as always. ]

It's a very nice box, sir! What are you gonna put in it?

[burlyboy]

Thank you! It sure is! [ Magnus tosses the rag aside before grabbing a new one and wiping his hands down on it before discarding that one too. He's going to fill up a whole laundry load with just old rags at this point, but he doesn't look too concerned. ]

I'm not sure what I'm going to fill it with yet. I'm going to do something with this set, but until then... herbs, maybe? Taako might like that. [ He drums his fingers on the ground. ] Maybe some daisies. What do you think?

[hellosirs]

[ Huh. Gardening isn't exactly Angus's area of expertise, but he is good at breaking things down analytically, and organizing stuff. It isn't often that the Reclaimers ask for his opinion either, so he's thinking about this very carefully before answering! ]

Either one would work, but you could use the herbs for cooking. You could divide the box up into different sections, even, for the different kinds. Have you thought about making a garden without the boxes?

FOR EXILE

[burlyboy]

[ In the absence of a proper sparring partner, Magnus has made the executive decision to attend his local gym on a regular basis. He can't have all of his hard work going to waste just because he spends all of his time wandering around, after all, and he's gotten a little better acquainted with formal gyms after checking out everything the Bureau has to offer. While finishes off one set and grabs one of those comically small towels the gym provides all of its guests with, wiping some sweat from off of his broad brow, he can't help but pause at the sparring room, staring openly at the duo showing off their stuff within.

He makes no efforts to disguise his presence, which is a good thing, frankly; he's all muscles and scars, and stands out enough around here to scare people off of any equipment he might want to use anyway. He wouldn't mind talking to the woman inside, he figures, and he hunkers down, waiting for an opportunity to talk to her. ]

[forcereset]

[It was no Mandalorian dueling circle. Which, force knew, she wasn't exactly complaining about. Meetra had fought enough Mandalorians in her time to last several lives. But it did mean the local talent wasn't exactly up to relieving the tension that simple arriving in this world had brought.

So another partner bites the dust. After helping them up and shaking hands, Meetra uses her own incredibly small towel to dry off a little as she goes for a swig of water. Incidentally making her way towards the scarred human standing nearby.]

It's open.

[burlyboy]

Thanks! Although...

[ If he were a shyer man, or one with more tact, Magnus wouldn't go approaching strange women at gyms out of sheer admiration, but Magnus has always been bold, for better or for worse. So instead of walking in there, he takes a step into the hallway, making sure he stays in her line of vision. ]

I wanted to ask - where'd you learn how to fight like that? You've got some moves.

[forcereset]

Lots of training.

[It wasn't so much effort at being elusive as not wanting to play the twenty questions of what the Jedi were, what did she mean she wasn't technically one. A nice honest spar was so much better.

Water had, she gave her shoulder a good stretch then headed back towards the ring, gesturing him to follow.]

How about you?