Dorian can't help but laugh at that, a bitter little laugh as he gives Constantine a small, weak smile. "It's a challenge, having all one's sins reflected back at you like this. I can remember every bad decision I've made, every person I've hurt. Every scrape, every stab, every wound I've taken on, I remember. Most people would eventually forget...but then again, we both know I'm not most people."

He doesn't take his eyes off the portrait the entire time he talks, as if he's transfixed by the thing, almost like he's forgotten Constantine's here to begin with. The more Dorian talks, the more it should be obvious to John why he's been shutting himself up ever since Toby left. When you're acutely aware of every mistake you've made and every person you've hurt, no wonder your self-esteem is in the pits. Add in a Ported out husband on top of all these self-esteem issues and surprise! Everything sucks.

"I still wouldn't give it up, though," he admits, as he still looks at the portrait. "Of course, I don't think I could give it up even if I wanted to."