maskormenacelogs | let's go to the mall everybody!!!

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let's go to the mall everybody!!!

WHO: the Doctor & Kagerou
WHERE: some mall somewhere
WHEN: sometime before Christmas
WHAT: RAMPANT CONSUMERISM slash teaching the robot how to be a person
WARNINGS: n/a!

Teaching Kagerou how to do normal human things like "buy clothing" might not be a good idea in the mall. At Christmas. Because the mall is packed, as people go from store to store, kids wait in line to sit on Santa Claus's lap, stores are having major sales so all sorts of people are at the stores, tacky Christmas music is being blared from the speakers, and so on and so forth.

The Doctor and Kagerou are standing in the middle of the food court. The Doctor's holding a pretzel and looking around with a little frown.

"Ah. Perhaps I should have picked somewhere smaller." He turns to Kagerou and gives him a little smile. "Shall we go shopping anyway?"

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There are. So many people.

This is more people than he's seen in one place in a long time. Partly because he's been hiding away from humanity almost since he arrived. Even avoiding swear-ins after the whole... Russia thing.

He's standing behind the man, holding onto his own pretzel like it's some kind of magic talisman and looking around wide-eyed from under too-long black hair. Hanging in his eyes and badly in need to cutting.

"Are you sure? Why are there so many people here?"

"Probably because of the holidays," the Doctor simply explains as he tears off a part of his pretzel.

"The stores are having sales and people haven't bought holiday gifts yet, so they're here, taking advantage of this to do so." He's still a bit worried about this, as he frowns, looking over the stores and all the people.

"We'll start with a smaller store first. It'd be cruel to throw you into Macys." Said in the same tone as one might say 'the dungeon.'

"Oh."

He sounds unconvinced at this answer, but, really, he's got to accept it. There's no other explanation he can see. And it's hard to think about it when you're getting jostled from all sides by people bustling around with packages.

"Who is Macy and why are you throwing me into them?" he asks, peering around his shopping partner's shoulder. Like there's going to be someone named Macy lurking in a dark corner. "They would get hurt."

"Macy was a person, now it's the name of the store. And I'm only metaphorically throwing you, not literally throwing you." There's a pause as the Doctor mulls over what to do...

"Come on. We're going to the bath supplies store first. I need to pick up something for Clara in that scent she likes."

So, the Doctor attempts to take Kagerou's hand as he starts walking in the general direction towards a Bath and Body Works.

"They made them into a store?"

Kagerou, no. He blinks, though, looking over to the Doctor at the words 'bath supplies'. Is this going to be like the time Sabriel hosed him off in the yard? But it's a store, so maybe it's not. He almost protests.

Then there's a hand on his, tugging him along.

"Who is Clara?"

"He made a store, they just named it after him."

The Doctor seemingly has no shame as he still holds onto Kagerou's hand, expertly weaving them in between people, past sunglasses stalls, and (once they reach the center of the mall), towards an escalator. He's got this.

"Clara's one of my bffs," said without the slightest hint of irony at the term 'bff.' "I don't know what to get her for Christmas, so I'm getting her some lotion or something like that. Maybe a candle."

She can at least regift the candle next year if she hates it.

"Oh. That's odd."

Because apparently, everything should be named after what it does. Or something. Either way, he doesn't appear to object or otherwise mind having his hand held. At least this way, he won't lose his current companion in this mission. Following along in someone's shadow is easy.

"Bff?" Okay so he's trying to peer around to see the Doctor's face at any rate. "I don't know what that means."

A pause.

"You could get her food."

"Best friend forever. You've got to remember that middle 'f', I forgot it one time and learned that bf is something entirely different." He's talking as if there's a massive story behind the Doctor accidentally mucking up the words.

"BF is boyfriend, by the way. And I'm not going to get her food, I'd eat the food before I'd have the chance to wrap it up."

"Best friend forever..." he repeats it, slowly. Trying to memorize the words. The phrase. He probably will. Memories are the one thing he's good at.

He peers over the railing of the escalator for a moment. "Can someone be both? Boyfriend and best friend forever?"

The Doctor shrugs, as he looks back at Kagerou. That's actually a good question.

"Maybe? I wouldn't know, it's been hundreds of years and a few regenerations in the past since I had a boyfriend." It's just said so casually, no big deal, as the Doctor steps off the escalator towards the bath supplies store.

"Dunno what you'd call him, though. A bbfff? Best boyfriend/friend forever?"

"What's it like? Having a boyfriend?"

He doesn't even blink at the weirdness of the language. Or what the Doctor is saying. Just the question. He hops off the edge of the escalator like he's afraid it's going to bite him.

"Is that possible?"

"Is it possible to have a boyfriend best friend? Maybe. People who are in relationships sometimes say that their significant other's their best friend. As for the boyfriend...."

How to phrase this. The problem is, the Doctor who most likely had a boyfriend was a different Doctor entirely. One who was more forgetful and a bit oblivious. So he knows he can't answer 'what's it like to have a boyfriend' with 'well I forgot he existed a few times and it took a while for me to actually connect the boyfriend dots to begin with' because then that'll get more questions and the Doctor unsurprisingly doesn't want to talk about boyfriends for the entire shopping trip.

So, he pauses for a moment before his answer.

"It's nice. Not really different from any other sort of relationship, really. You're with someone who you like a lot, you occasionally do things for them that you know they like, and when they're happy, you feel like you're king of the world."

"... Ah. That sounds nice."

The words come out sincere. But a little wistful. A best friend who was also your significant other? That sounds perfect, really, if he thinks on it fairly hard. Which of course he does. Because that's just Kagerou in a nutshell.

He doesn't even notice the pause, lost in his own thoughts.

"And so does that," he admits, once the answer comes. In that same tone as before. It sounds so simple. Someone you care for, and make happy. "It sounds easier than everyone here makes it out to be."

"It is," the Doctor simply responds, as they walk into the bath goods store. "The thing is, because people want to make their boyfriend or girlfriend happy, they start worrying a lot. 'Oh, I should do this because she likes it' or 'I should do this because it'll make him happy.' So it becomes a bigger deal than it is."

Once they're in the bath goods store, the Doctor makes a beeline to some body washes, looking them over for a specific scent as he continues to talk. "Really, just being with someone's enough to make them happy for the most part. People always underestimate the simple things."

"You make it sound like it's wrong to want to make someone happy."

He's still trailing along in the Doctor's wake, though. Up until the body washes. Specifically, one with a cake on the bottle. He picks it up, sniffing at it, and ends up touching the gel to his tongue.

Grimacing and gagging a moment later. Nice, Kagerou.

"I guess that's true, though. I was happy, being with someone." A beat. "Were you?"

"It's not wrong to make someone happy. It's wrong to make things overly complicated and get too wrapped up in everything if you're going to make someone happy."

The Doctor looks through the body washes before picking one up in lavender. He looks it over before deciding yep, that's the one.

As for that question...it gives him pause as a warm smile slowly shows on his face. "I was. Happier than I've been in a while."

But it's a nostalgic smile. After all, he knows that when he goes back home, he'll forget Clara ever existed.

"Oh... I... don't think I understand the difference."

He means it, though. Where is the difference between where it's right and wrong? If you cared for someone, shouldn't you want to do everything for them? To make them happy? It sounds a lot more confusing than he'd thought.

"That's good," he says, finally. Setting the body wash down and looking over at the "human". "Did you find something yet?"

"Think about it this way," the Doctor said, as he gestured for Kagerou to follow him to the check-out line. "Say you're dating someone, we'll call her River. Now you ask River what she wants for her birthday, and she says oh, nothing really, just some cake would be nice. But just some cake? You love River, you'd do anything in the world for River, you'd move mountains and throw away the universe for her, she's not going to get just some cake."

He reaches into his pocket with his free hand, pulling out a beat-up wallet that's bulging at the seams. "So you decide River's too good for just some cake, you're going to make a massive party for her with balloons and clowns and elephants and all sorts of things! And then you get to the party and she's not happy. In fact, she seems rather put out about the whole deal. Why? Because you were trying so hard to make her happy that you forgot what she wanted in the first place: just some cake."

"And there you go," the Doctor simply says, as he places the body wash on the counter for check-out. "That's the difference."

"That is... very complicated. You're right."

He's back to hovering close again. As the cluttered check-out line is a little more than he anticipated. A little more people than he thought it would be. But hey! At least he sort of understands the difference now.

"So you just give them what they ask for?" Just to clarify. Just to be sure he really does understand.

And, you know, he's not reading too little into this.

"Within reason," the Doctor says, with a shrug. "If they ask you to rob a bank, you're not going to rob a bank."

There's a brief pause where he worries that Kagerou knows not to rob banks, right? Hopefully? Anyway, they're at the cashier now and the Doctor starts pulling out money to pay, sorting American bank notes from bills that are straight up from a different country.

"I think the most important thing is just to listen."

"What if they need money?"

Kagerou, no. This is probably where the Doctor's fears are straight up confirmed. Because he looks blankly at him, blinking like he expects some kind of other answer than 'don't rob a bank, Kagerou'.

"I can do that. I'm used to that."

.....

He's got a long way to go if he wants to Henry Higgens this robot into conforming to humanity or at least not thinking robbing banks is a viable option. The Doctor just sighs a little bit before he takes the purchase and explains, "Then you help them find a job, but you don't rob a bank."

It's that simple. Hopefully. Please be that simple.

"Let's go get you some clothes."

"Even if they want to? You... said to listen to them."

And if they said that was what they wanted? Shouldn't he do the right thing and listen to them? This nebulous person he probably won't ever see again. He's trying to understand this, he really is.

But then he nods. Because "clothes" he understands.

"Listen to them but don't be stupid. If someone asked you to jump off a bridge, you don't jump off a bridge because that's dumb."

The Doctor sighs, as if that's the most obvious thing in the world before he gestures for Kagerou to take his hand again.

"I can explain more on the way."

"But I can fly. In two of my forms."

Not as a human you can't, Kagerou. Focus here. He frowns, but takes that hand without thinking about it. That, at least, seems perfectly normal.

"Okay."

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