There are no appropriate lyrics about parole officers.

[deadkord]

WHO: Calendar Man & the handsomer Blue Beetle
WHERE: Nonah
WHEN: Sandwich Day. (Thursday, November 3rd)
WHAT: PAROLE
WARNINGS: Ted Kord. Other than that, will update as needed?



[ So the Blue Beetle has never been someone's PO before. In fact, Ted has no idea what it actually entails, aside from being told to have daily check-ins until Julian's probation is up in January. Which, okay, doesn't sound like it could possibly be that much work, right? In any case, he's already intending to approach this like he approaches literally every interaction he's had with Calendar Man to date. Which is to say, taking it as far from seriously as possible.

So he does an internet search for weird holidays, marks a few off in his planner to take them off from work, and shows up, unannounced, on Julian's doorstep in full costume with a grocery bag under one arm. ]

So, I'm assuming I don't have to remind you that I won't be telling you Batman's birthday now, huh?

Comments

[exceptfebruary]

[ This is Julian's third parole officer in 2016, a testament both to Julian's ability to keep committing crimes and this world's revolving door of justice. But considering parole should only be two months, and a year is 12, three parole officers is half the number he could have, really. He's practically restrained himself.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't raise his eyebrows at the superhero at his door when he opens it. ]

You don't. I'm no longer running, regardless.

[ He doesn't say "come in" or "welcome", he merely steps aside while the door is still open.

And it should be immediately apparent that Julian's house is covered with calendars of every sort imaginable, newspaper clippings (especially, oddly enough, the Virgo section ripped out from the horoscopes), and his own notes on port-in and port-out dates, among other things directly written on the walls. The floor is practically carpeted by page-a-day calendar sheets.

It's like his cell in Arkham, spread out over an entire house. ]

[deadkord]

[ Ted makes himself at home, heading straight for the kitchen to check and see if the stove isn't covered in flammable calendar pages before he unloads the contents of the bag (bread, onions, thinly sliced steak, thick sliced provolone) onto the counter. While he'd never seen Julian's cell in Arkham himself, Bruce had mentioned it to him in passing a few times over the course of their friendship, so he's markedly unsurprised. ]

Nice place you've got here.

[exceptfebruary]

[ Julian doesn't mind cooking (though most of what he knows are holiday and seasonal foods) so his kitchen is, mercifully, better than the rest. ]

It's better than a cell.

[ He eyes what Blue Beetle brought. It's not difficult to guess what sort of food it is. ]

You've done your homework.

[deadkord]

Honestly, I'm surprised they didn't keep you in a cell for longer this time.

[ He pokes through Julian's things in search of a pan and utensils. Luckily for Julian, philly cheesesteaks are the only thing he can cook that doesn't come in a plastic tray, so this isn't likely to end with his building burning down, or a trip to the emergency room. ]

Weird holiday or no, I figured sandwiches wouldn't be a bad way to start this off.

[exceptfebruary]

No. But they did make sure I wouldn't be out of parole in time for New Year's. Or Epiphany.

[ It's difficult to keep the bitterness out of his voice. There's even a bit of anger. He doesn't pick favourites, but. New Year's is totally his favourite.

He breathes through his nose, regaining his calm. ]

I will eat a sandwich with you. Today.

[deadkord]

Which one's Epiphany again?

[ He's not just pushing Julian's buttons for the sake of it, he genuinely can't remember what holiday that's supposed to be. ]

Good, because this is the best sandwich you're ever going to eat.

[exceptfebruary]

Epiphany. Christian holiday. When the wise men arrived to see the baby Christ. Only relevant as it's the anniversary of the day I was ported in.

[ Because clearly he's more important than, you know, all that. Meanwhile, he watches Ted prepare said sandwich with a bit of bemusement. ]

[deadkord]

Well, I'm Jewish and that one doesn't sound like a presents and candy holiday, so I guess that's why I don't know it.

[ He moves the frying meat around in the pan. ]

Speaking of Porter anniversaries, mine's in three days. You gonna get me another shiv to add to my collection?

[exceptfebruary]

You're Jewish? October must have been busy for you.

[ Since it was stuffed full with Jewish holidays. ]

Three days. Would that make it November 6th, 2015 you were ported in?

[deadkord]

Oh, uh... Sure.

[ The fact that he hesitates in trying to remember which holidays were in October is really telling. Damn, he probably could've gotten some days off work. ]

The year flies by so fast, doesn't it?

[exceptfebruary]

[ He raises an eyebrow. ] Each day is the same length. This year is longer than most.