[ He takes a breath. Even from the first moment, the first word, there are elements of this that leave him uncertain, adrift. What accent should he use? Barrayaran seems most natural, because he always learned these courtly functions and formal words as Miles. But Barrayaran will seem a mockery, won't it? Now that he's used Jacksonian? Emperor Gregor and the Butcher - and Admiral Lord Aral Vorkosigan - might well take that as making fun. ]
I, Mark Pierre Vorkosigan -
[ Only the second time he's spoken the name Mark aloud. The first time he's said the whole of it, the whole mouthful. It goes well. Mark Pierre. Mark Pierre Vorkosigan. Mark Pierre Vorkosigan. Since the first time he heard that name, coming from the Countess, it's haunted him. Peter Kane had been an alias, had always felt like an alias...Mark Pierre Vorkosigan feels like a name. It will always be his, he thinks. Even if he turns around and finds Aral Vorkosigan standing there, dangerous glint in his eye, the Emperor might have accepted you but you're no true Vorkosigan, even if he has to relinquish the name later, it'll always be his. And he'll always have had this glorious moment where he calls himself Mark Pierre, and where it's right. It's true. ]
Do testify I am an unsworn freeman -
[ Is he? He has loyalty to two madmen. Lucifer's grip is weaker, to be fair; it's newer, and Lucifer secured his cooperation more on the basis of his alikeness to Ser Galen than on his own frightening merits. Hatred for Lucifer is untempered by anything more complicated - there's only hatred and fear. That bond of loyalty is quickly set aside. That bond to Ser Galen, though...He owes his life, his miserable shadow of a life, to Ser Galen and to the leadership of Free Komarr. He owes his face and his twisted limbs and his shit-poor breathing and his inability to know what's right and what's wrong to Ser Galen. He owes the loyalty of a soldier to his commander to Ser Galen - the loyalty of a son to a father.
But: you had options? Ways to refuse? A loyal soldier isn't kept captive. A son isn't starved in the dark. Neither of them - neither of them are hurt so badly that they can't move, can't breathe. Ser Galen's bond of loyalty was...never earned. It was just the only option he ever had. He never had any other choice.
So I'm suborned. It's a fucking relief. ]
And take service under Emperor Count Gregor Vorbarra as subject and liege-sworn -
[ His eyes dart up to Gregor's face. Look at his shadowed, pained expression. Sorry. Sorry. ]
And will hold him as my liege-commander until death or he releases me.
[ A restless thought occurs to him - what about if he dies a temporary death? He could wiggle out of it that way...For some reason, that thought fills him with more melancholy fear than it does with hope. Wiggling out...isn't something he wants. ]
I swear furthermore that I will promptly report any attempts to suborn my loyalty to him -
[ That part added specifically for him, he suspects. ]
Or to Admiral Lord Aral Vorkosigan.
[ How does Aral Vorkosigan feel about this? What's going on behind him? To get an unwanted, unanticipated second son. One who's already hurt him, already hurt his son, his Emperor...For a moment, he thinks back to that moment during the battle, when the Butcher saved him from the teeth of that hellhound. He'd thought it was so he could finish him off later. But - was it...? Was it really to save him? Was that a father, rescuing his son? ]
And I will not give violence or be party to it by passivity to my liege or anyone sworn to him except under orders or in self-defense.
[ That last part is kindness. If their positions were reversed, Mark wouldn't allow that part for self-defense. There are ways to wiggle out from that, justify self-defense. Gregor is extending so much trust...Even as his mind jumps to ways to circumvent it, he also swears mentally that he never will. He's tried a number of new things since coming here to this world. He decides that he's going to try out loyalty. True loyalty. Try out...belonging.
He recites the last words of the oath. It clicks into place. ]
no subject
I, Mark Pierre Vorkosigan -
[ Only the second time he's spoken the name Mark aloud. The first time he's said the whole of it, the whole mouthful. It goes well. Mark Pierre. Mark Pierre Vorkosigan. Mark Pierre Vorkosigan. Since the first time he heard that name, coming from the Countess, it's haunted him. Peter Kane had been an alias, had always felt like an alias...Mark Pierre Vorkosigan feels like a name. It will always be his, he thinks. Even if he turns around and finds Aral Vorkosigan standing there, dangerous glint in his eye, the Emperor might have accepted you but you're no true Vorkosigan, even if he has to relinquish the name later, it'll always be his. And he'll always have had this glorious moment where he calls himself Mark Pierre, and where it's right. It's true. ]
Do testify I am an unsworn freeman -
[ Is he? He has loyalty to two madmen. Lucifer's grip is weaker, to be fair; it's newer, and Lucifer secured his cooperation more on the basis of his alikeness to Ser Galen than on his own frightening merits. Hatred for Lucifer is untempered by anything more complicated - there's only hatred and fear. That bond of loyalty is quickly set aside. That bond to Ser Galen, though...He owes his life, his miserable shadow of a life, to Ser Galen and to the leadership of Free Komarr. He owes his face and his twisted limbs and his shit-poor breathing and his inability to know what's right and what's wrong to Ser Galen. He owes the loyalty of a soldier to his commander to Ser Galen - the loyalty of a son to a father.
But: you had options? Ways to refuse? A loyal soldier isn't kept captive. A son isn't starved in the dark. Neither of them - neither of them are hurt so badly that they can't move, can't breathe. Ser Galen's bond of loyalty was...never earned. It was just the only option he ever had. He never had any other choice.
So I'm suborned. It's a fucking relief. ]
And take service under Emperor Count Gregor Vorbarra as subject and liege-sworn -
[ His eyes dart up to Gregor's face. Look at his shadowed, pained expression. Sorry. Sorry. ]
And will hold him as my liege-commander until death or he releases me.
[ A restless thought occurs to him - what about if he dies a temporary death? He could wiggle out of it that way...For some reason, that thought fills him with more melancholy fear than it does with hope. Wiggling out...isn't something he wants. ]
I swear furthermore that I will promptly report any attempts to suborn my loyalty to him -
[ That part added specifically for him, he suspects. ]
Or to Admiral Lord Aral Vorkosigan.
[ How does Aral Vorkosigan feel about this? What's going on behind him? To get an unwanted, unanticipated second son. One who's already hurt him, already hurt his son, his Emperor...For a moment, he thinks back to that moment during the battle, when the Butcher saved him from the teeth of that hellhound. He'd thought it was so he could finish him off later. But - was it...? Was it really to save him? Was that a father, rescuing his son? ]
And I will not give violence or be party to it by passivity to my liege or anyone sworn to him except under orders or in self-defense.
[ That last part is kindness. If their positions were reversed, Mark wouldn't allow that part for self-defense. There are ways to wiggle out from that, justify self-defense. Gregor is extending so much trust...Even as his mind jumps to ways to circumvent it, he also swears mentally that he never will. He's tried a number of new things since coming here to this world. He decides that he's going to try out loyalty. True loyalty. Try out...belonging.
He recites the last words of the oath. It clicks into place. ]