[ He's dressed in a hoodie in Vorkosigan brown and silver. He has a false scar applied to his face. And he's completely terrified.
Twice now already, he's had to stop to try to breathe. He's afraid of a third attack in the middle of this - afraid it'll give him away, almost more afraid that Gregor will try to kiss him better or something. That's a thought that comes back to chill him periodically - that Gregor, mistaking him for Miles, will try some romantic gesture, both because he doesn't want the emperor's hands on him and because he doesn't want to get some kiss that's intended for Miles. He's afraid too that they'll see through him at once and kill him right then and there. He's afraid that they'll see through him and kill him more slowly. He's afraid he'll fail and Lucifer will take him apart. He's afraid that he'll succeed and Lucifer will take him apart anyway. He's afraid that he's going to start to cry, even though his eyes and face feel feverishly hot and dry. He's afraid to succeed.
You don't have to do this. He does, though. He doesn't have any choice. If he doesn't, he'll be killed. And if you do it, they'll be killed - But why should he care? What are they to him? No one ever helped him. So why should he give up his life, subject himself to pain and terror and torture, for their sakes? They're the corrupt leaders of a corrupt world who probably have this coming to them anyway. They're oppressors and monsters anyway. Why should he die so that they can live? He has no obligation to them, not when they've done nothing for him.
But Cordelia loves you. And they're your friends. It's just emotional blackmail. That's all it is. That's all they have on him...
He drives up to the cafe where Gregor will just be ending his shift. Parks. Leans his head against the steering wheel for a few long moments, trying to let his heartrate slow, trying to take in enough oxygen to not hurt all over. Neither actually works. Finally, heavily, he opens the door, climbs out. Comes into the cafe and finds Gregor and waves to him, grinning a Milesish grin, beckoning him over. And as soon as he does that, of course, as soon as he meets Gregor's eyes, he's locked on this path; there's no turning back, because it transmutes him from someone-who-can-plausibly-claim-to-just-look-like-Miles into someone-exploiting-his-resemblance. In a way, the lack of freedom helps. The fact that he has now forfeited all opportunities to make other choices is less terrifying. ]
Gregor and Mark, initial kidnapping, 5/27
Twice now already, he's had to stop to try to breathe. He's afraid of a third attack in the middle of this - afraid it'll give him away, almost more afraid that Gregor will try to kiss him better or something. That's a thought that comes back to chill him periodically - that Gregor, mistaking him for Miles, will try some romantic gesture, both because he doesn't want the emperor's hands on him and because he doesn't want to get some kiss that's intended for Miles. He's afraid too that they'll see through him at once and kill him right then and there. He's afraid that they'll see through him and kill him more slowly. He's afraid he'll fail and Lucifer will take him apart. He's afraid that he'll succeed and Lucifer will take him apart anyway. He's afraid that he's going to start to cry, even though his eyes and face feel feverishly hot and dry. He's afraid to succeed.
You don't have to do this. He does, though. He doesn't have any choice. If he doesn't, he'll be killed. And if you do it, they'll be killed - But why should he care? What are they to him? No one ever helped him. So why should he give up his life, subject himself to pain and terror and torture, for their sakes? They're the corrupt leaders of a corrupt world who probably have this coming to them anyway. They're oppressors and monsters anyway. Why should he die so that they can live? He has no obligation to them, not when they've done nothing for him.
But Cordelia loves you. And they're your friends. It's just emotional blackmail. That's all it is. That's all they have on him...
He drives up to the cafe where Gregor will just be ending his shift. Parks. Leans his head against the steering wheel for a few long moments, trying to let his heartrate slow, trying to take in enough oxygen to not hurt all over. Neither actually works. Finally, heavily, he opens the door, climbs out. Comes into the cafe and finds Gregor and waves to him, grinning a Milesish grin, beckoning him over. And as soon as he does that, of course, as soon as he meets Gregor's eyes, he's locked on this path; there's no turning back, because it transmutes him from someone-who-can-plausibly-claim-to-just-look-like-Miles into someone-exploiting-his-resemblance. In a way, the lack of freedom helps. The fact that he has now forfeited all opportunities to make other choices is less terrifying. ]