[A life of psychoactive substances doesn't help anchor him, neither do hallucinations after the operation, or a power like he ended up with, where thought becomes reality. Nor the fact that in his dreams, awake or asleep, he's always falling apart or away. Death haunts him even when he's alive.
Tetsuo's never been the most mentally healthy. All that takes an eventual toll.
But he's not self aware enough to analyze any of that. All he really knows is how he is right now, shoving away anything that doesn't match to deny how bad it might be.
Still... There's a word for it?! He'd been so certain there couldn't be.
That's the problem. Aren't you listening? Nothing is!
If this wasn't through thoughts, the self delusion would stay just like that. But an image comes to mind anyway, of a messy-haired teenager all in red and orange with an infuriatingly cocky grin. Tetsuo hasn't pulled back enough to hide his subconscious. And therefore, his self delusions are undermined by his own instincts.
Consciously, he doesn't want to hear it; any answer scares him enough to block it. But the rest of his mind knows immediately - the only thing he knows he didn't make up has to be the person he knew from before.
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Tetsuo's never been the most mentally healthy. All that takes an eventual toll.
But he's not self aware enough to analyze any of that. All he really knows is how he is right now, shoving away anything that doesn't match to deny how bad it might be.
Still... There's a word for it?! He'd been so certain there couldn't be.
That's the problem. Aren't you listening? Nothing is!
If this wasn't through thoughts, the self delusion would stay just like that. But an image comes to mind anyway, of a messy-haired teenager all in red and orange with an infuriatingly cocky grin. Tetsuo hasn't pulled back enough to hide his subconscious. And therefore, his self delusions are undermined by his own instincts.
Consciously, he doesn't want to hear it; any answer scares him enough to block it. But the rest of his mind knows immediately - the only thing he knows he didn't make up has to be the person he knew from before.
The only one who ever truly matters.]