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maskormenacelogs2016-02-06 08:23 pm
akito) wrote in maskormenacelogs2016-02-06 08:23 pm
closed
WHO: Akito + Callaghan
WHERE: Xavier's School for ImPorts
WHEN: late late on 02/07
WHAT: quality bonding times with professor jii-chan over legos
WARNINGS: n/a?? EMOTIONS???
---
Ever since the new year Akito has found it harder and harder to sleep; mind unwilling to shut down after a long day of hitting one new problem after another in his research. It has gotten to a point where headaches and nosebleeds are not unheard of anymore despite having grown out of them months ago, though Akito isn't worried by it - to him, it just means he's pushing his power to the next level, which will hopefully help them solve the nanite issue once and for all. What does worry him, however, what feels like must be everything else. Friends and homes. Fighting and wars. The future.
Cat grumbles at him from where she's been resting as he rolls out of bed, finally giving up on sleep for the night. Akito offers a murmured apology along with a placating gesture, though knows that Cat doesn't like him all that much - she's Agito's cat, not his. Benji lifts his head to stare at him and makes a move to get up to follow, but Akito gently shushes him, patting the dog's head until he falls back to sleep. With the animals taken care of, he quietly leaves his dorm in search of something mundane to distract his mind.
The hallway holds a distinct chill so late at night despite Florida generally being warm and humid. It makes a shiver run through him, though he isn't cold so much as just adjusting to the change in atmosphere as he head's downstairs. Akito seriously considers drowning out his worries with music, right up until he remembers the hour and how loud the piano is. Maybe tomorrow, during a break. Instead, he finds himself wandering around the hallways - both in body and mind.
After all, maybe if he walks for long enough he can finally fall asleep.
WHERE: Xavier's School for ImPorts
WHEN: late late on 02/07
WHAT: quality bonding times with professor jii-chan over legos
WARNINGS: n/a?? EMOTIONS???
---
Ever since the new year Akito has found it harder and harder to sleep; mind unwilling to shut down after a long day of hitting one new problem after another in his research. It has gotten to a point where headaches and nosebleeds are not unheard of anymore despite having grown out of them months ago, though Akito isn't worried by it - to him, it just means he's pushing his power to the next level, which will hopefully help them solve the nanite issue once and for all. What does worry him, however, what feels like must be everything else. Friends and homes. Fighting and wars. The future.
Cat grumbles at him from where she's been resting as he rolls out of bed, finally giving up on sleep for the night. Akito offers a murmured apology along with a placating gesture, though knows that Cat doesn't like him all that much - she's Agito's cat, not his. Benji lifts his head to stare at him and makes a move to get up to follow, but Akito gently shushes him, patting the dog's head until he falls back to sleep. With the animals taken care of, he quietly leaves his dorm in search of something mundane to distract his mind.
The hallway holds a distinct chill so late at night despite Florida generally being warm and humid. It makes a shiver run through him, though he isn't cold so much as just adjusting to the change in atmosphere as he head's downstairs. Akito seriously considers drowning out his worries with music, right up until he remembers the hour and how loud the piano is. Maybe tomorrow, during a break. Instead, he finds himself wandering around the hallways - both in body and mind.
After all, maybe if he walks for long enough he can finally fall asleep.
no subject
There's not enough hours in the day to do everything he wants - everything he needs to do. And yet...
He knows himself well enough that logically, he can't keep going for so long. That he'll make mistakes he'll have to clean up in the morning, and spend more time. So when he can't get himself to sleep without working on something...
He works on something harmless. Or, at least, something whose cleanup is somewhat easier than the other projects'.
This evening - morning? - he's carefully sorting the pieces by color and size. The lego table was probably one of the best investments he'd made, lately, not only to indulge that inner child. When he's solved all the puzzles, when there's nothing left too solve, the simple construction and deconstruction of plastic keeps his hand and subconscious busy to the point of calming him down to when he can actually sleep.
He just hopes it won't take more than another hour or two.
no subject
"...Jii-chan?"
no subject
"Akito? What're you doing up this late?"
Using the table as an aid, he pushes himself to his feet, peering towards the door and hallway beyond.
no subject
"...My head is being too loud."
It's not a lie, nor is it downplaying the issue. Though it also doesn't make it seem overly serious (because it's not, in Akito's mind). With that done, he inches his way through the door but stays near it, unwilling to move in further. When he feels like this - wound up and anxious - he likes to be near an easy escape route. A habit Akito is aware enough of that he actively indulges in it.
He rubs at his nose with the back of his hand absently, recalling a nosebleed from earlier that he never quite cleaned up. The blood is almost entirely gone save for, perhaps, a pink tint under his nose, but he doesn't want to deal with anyone worrying over something so stupid.
"Why are you up?"
no subject
"Mm, something along the same lines."
There's a pause, and then, a tentative offer;
"I can try taking some of your noise, if you think it'll help." Wouldn't be the first time he's taken the boy's powers, but that's usually after he's already asleep. (With prior permission, of course.)
no subject
"...Ne, Jii-chan? Is it..." A long, heavy pause. "I love my friends and my home... But is it bad that since some of them came here... The more I think I would be happier somewhere different?"
no subject
He chuckles humorlessly, lowering his hand. "That's probably something only you can answer," he responds, gesturing at the youth. Come on in. "But if you've got something like that on your mind, I don't blame you for not being able to get some sleep."
no subject
"...None of them have come to visit, you know?" He had been excited to share his new home with his friends. "I know they're all busy, and live in Nonah..." But I thought they would come. He wanted to share his new loves and life with the people who meant the most to him.
"I want to send them messages, so maybe we can spend time together again? But I don't know what to say anymore." Akito shifts, making himself somehow appear even smaller in the chair that already dwarfed him. "I've grown a lot since I got here, but it seems like I grew further apart from them... Like I changed for what seems to be the worse?"
no subject
"You," Robert declares as he seats himself, "are entirely too young for those sort of feelings." They're the sort that come with weary age and experience, of realizing you've drifted too far from your old self and being not sure if you can ever return. "If you've changed, it's for the better, I can promise you that- and maybe all that's needed is for you to send the first message."
He pauses, eyeing a mass of pieces as if to figure out how to start sorting them. Eventually, he simply reaches for the closest one.
"Invite them to the school. Just to take a look around."
Callaghan's well aware that he's oversimplifying - that it's always, always more complicated than that, at least from the first perspective - but short of pulling out the ducky to try and resolve the problem, he's only so many ideas on how to advise.
no subject
A small shrug, and he curls up into himself further. "...I contacted them when they first got here, and invited them to stay at the school. There's enough room here for everyone, ne? And it would be like it was at home, where everyone always lived close to each other..." He frowns in thought. "Agito messaged them when everyone was kidnapped, to make sure they were okay... They responded to him well, but he isn't one to initiate contact, so he wouldn't contact them except in emergencies like that..."
Akito knows Callaghan knows what Agito is like, and so he doesn't elaborate further. Instead, he brings up what keeps bothering him the most. Voice quieter than before, and he sounds almost ashamed - which is something Akito rarely shows or feels - he adds:
"...One of them asked when I got so broken again, Jii-chan."
no subject
"Seems to me that if that's their idea of friendship, you're better off sticking with the ones you've made. Like Hiro."
Divert to something positive. Something other than the lingering annoyance at such a reception. True, Akito is hardly a normal boy, but to call him broken?
no subject
"Hiro-kun is my best friend," Akito agrees, doing his best to ignore how warm his cheeks feel thinking about him. The small smile he struggles to hide behind his knees definitely isn't one meant for someone only considered a best friend, either. "He's the first person I told about my past who asked about it... He really wanted to hear about it and help me with it, instead of brushing it off like everyone else."
no subject
Eg, how he just described Hiro.
Now, to be completely fair...he does know Akito comes from an abusive past. So that may be why he clung to 'friends' like those. But now that he's in a situation where there's so many more to choose from...
"What does Agito think about all this?" he abruptly asks, cocking his head slightly.
no subject
At least Akito knows that he and Agito would, because they already came close. Callaghan's question surprises him, and he looks up suddenly in confusion. What does Agito think...? It isn't something they explicitly spoke about with each other yet, with everything else going on, but...
"He's annoyed with them, but knows that they aren't the smartest and don't have experience with political and military subterfuge and war situations, so it's understandable to him too."
no subject
Then he sighs. This is all just hearsay; who is he to judge?
"Look, Akito...I won't claim to know your friends better than you do. But I do know that if they say these kinds of things and they bother you, then that's a sign something's wrong. Would they say that kind of thing to you before?"
no subject
For all of his intelligence, it's clear that Akito's social knowledge and skills are severely lacking. But despite that confusing revelation, he continues to listen to what Callaghan has to say. So far the man has never steered him wrong with his wisdom.
"...No," he admits. "Back home, for many months, it was mostly just Agito who was in control of our body... So nobody said much of anything to me for a long time."
no subject
"Then maybe they're used to someone who insults them back. Not that I'm condoning it," he adds, holding up a hand. "But...if they're used to Agito, they're used to Agito. And you've made it clear that you and Agito are two very different people."
To say the least. Though this just opens up another set of questions...
"If you don't mind me asking," he begins, selecting a few pieces and beginning to click them together, "is there a reason why you're more prominent, here, as opposed to him? Or is it just a matter of what I'm able," allowed, he thinks, "to see?"
He knows next to nothing about split personalities, though this doesn't seem fully like it - then again, it's certainly a difference on par with Jekyll and Hyde. Sans the conflict between the two.
no subject
"When I woke up here I was alone. Agito wasn't awake, and I couldn't feel him there for the first few weeks. Then he woke up again, and I had already made friends and established myself, so we decided it was safest to pretend it was just me." It feels like it was years ago. Had it only been a few months? "But I... fit in, and was useful, and it wasn't dangerous for me. And I was capable. And I still am."
He chews on the inside of his cheek; thinking. "We're in control of our body equal amounts now, but I use a lot of my time to socialize while he uses it to train and work. So I'm more prominent because I'm... I like people. And Agito doesn't really... Socializing isn't a priority for him. Now everyone knows that I have a 'twin brother' though, so he uses the network sometimes. You and Hiro-kun are two of the only people I've told about us being... Not normal." Akito frowns here. "...And we're going to continue keeping it a secret now, especially with what's going on with Russia. I don't trust them not to try and experiment with something like us."
no subject
"...no, I understand. Nobody needs to know, and I'm honored you saw fit to tell me. But," he adds, leaning his little 'wand' of two-by-twos towards the boy to tap him on the nose, "don't consider it less than 'normal'. It's your normal, so get that straight, first of all. As for the rest of it..."
He sets the construction down, then starts making another of another color.
"Is Agito bothered by how they treat you?"
no subject
"Societal norms are boring anyway. Who wants to be that kind of normal? Getting a boring job, married, with kids and a house. That's really boring to me." Though kids would be way more fun than boring. "I like boys, freedom, and adventure."
Akito follows the movement of Callaghan's hand with an absent sort of curiosity. He takes his time with the question, considering the answer.
"...Not at home, no. It's been my choice to keep letting Agito have our body most of the time, even though the danger is gone. He needs a chance to experience life properly too. I had a lot of time before everything got bad." He picks at a loose thread on his night shirt. "I get out a few times a week and spend time with everyone. If they don't ask about me very often it's only because I'm more of a background character than a main character, ne? And they know Agito wouldn't let anything happen to me, so they don't have to ask..."
If he's being honest, it was getting harder to feel really connected back home, though he doesn't know why. What he does know though is that two people weren't meant to share a body indefinitely - the will of two people both trying to live a full life? It's going to wear down a body eventually. Even now, it's hard to balance out both of their lives with their body's needs.
"Here though, he's not exactly happy with them. But it's understandable since it's harder... We've never lived so far apart before, after all. We used to live with Ikki after we ran away, so there was no need for messages. If we wanted to hang out, we'd just go hang out with everyone."