maskormenacelogs | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me

WHO: Ellie + YOU
WHERE:Wherever, either use one of the starters or make your own if you'd like!
WHEN:February, can be whenever
WHAT: Recovering after the capture!
WARNINGS:Talk about traumatic topics is possible

[ Things were back to normal. Or at least they were supposed to be heading back that way. Kidnapped imports were back home and that meant that Ellie should be adjusting to back to the same old same old. Easier said than done was the theme of the moment though. The last capture she'd gone through hadn't lasted nearly as long. It'd been terrible, worse in some respects, but not as long. There was something about the length that bothered her. Maybe it was the restlessness that set in or the fact that it gave way too much time for her to just think. Thinking was never good for someone that had survived a space zombie apocalypse that had left millions dead.

No, it was just about the opposite of good and old wounds had been reopened. Not that she wanted to think about that. For all the times that Ellie liked to talk about the importance of facing your fears and talking about your feelings she really did like to repress her own. Especially when there was nothing left to do but take a good hard look at how scared she might have actually been at various points in her more recent life.

So instead of facing things she went out and started to look for things to do that would force her to focus on anything that wasn't her own thoughts. ]

A. DOWNTOWN HEROPA

[ She started off in a park around Heropa, taking pictures of flowers and people playing. The camera had been a gift and the pictures were meant as a reminder that things could be good. This Earth was still alive, it was still flourishing unlike her own and she could find a lot of joy in that, or at least she usually could. Today she just went through the motions of snapping pictures and not looking where she was going. If she ran into someone she stopped and looked at them blankly. ]

Sorry. [ Her quasi almost British accent was muffled and lacked any real emphasis behind the apology.

After spending a few hours around taking pictures she went to a small coffee shop where she got a large coffee, extra shots, and took a seat outside away from people. Distinctly off to the side and distinctly positioned to make sure she could look around at her surroundings. ]

B. THE BEACH

[ Eventually the beach became a destination of choosing. The wind was strong that day and she went down. Despite that she still walked down to the water in bare feet and let the waves rush up against her. At one point the wind blew her jacket off her shoulder revealing scars along her collar bones that she usually tried to keep hidden. They were a reminder of home that she didn't want to deal with, especially not after the whole import capture thing. Instead she just wanted to focus on the sea and see if there was something in there that she could find calming.

At the very least she could get some good pictures of the rough ocean. That had to count for something. ]

C. DE CHIMA BAR

[ De Chima was known for it's bar life and that was what brought her there. It wasn't something she usually did, but it seemed like a good choice and a good potential outlet at least for a little while. She had her hair up in a messy bun as she walked into a small bar that didn't seem overly packed. She took a seat at a stool that was a good distance from any other patrons and waited for the bartender to come by. He smiled and asked what she wanted. She gave a half quirked smile and shrug. ]

I dunno, something strong. What would you recommend?

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[ Mitch was always a one drink a night kind of guy -- but he often did that in bars -- and he always made the drink count.

Which was why, when he walked in to the bar intending to be seen in the bar, connecting with the people in his city, he stopped by Ellie, and kept his voice low. ]

The scotch is pretty good here -- if you don't mind the burn.

[Finding Ellie down at the beach wasn't too hard. They both liked it there, even though outside-world wasn't exactly a place Isaac liked to frequent. He'd been trying to give her space after her ordeal, Ellie liked dealing with things in her own way, but that didn't shake his worry, of course.

He watched her for a moment, looking out over the rough seas. It really put into stark perspective how painfully different this world was from their own, and how just as tumultuous it had become. When they'd first arrived here, it had seemed like a paradise.

Now, though, he wasn't so sure. He moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.]

Here, you can almost forget, can't you? About...all that's happened.

I'll have a scotch. [ She said it a bit sharply to bartender who went off on his way to pour one out and slide it to her. Once she had it she turned to Mitch and gave a tiny halfhearted smile. ] I don't think the burn is a thing I'm gonna mind tonight. [ Or any night really but especially currently. ]

Oh no?

[ His smile was strained, because he knew what a lot of people just went through. He wasn't privy to everything -- Mitchell had purposefully kept himself apart from the whole thing -- focused on the diplomacy instead of the emotions -- as he so often did, but...

Well, now that it was over, it was hard not to worry. ]

How you holding up?

[ He turned to wave a finger, ordering one of his own. ]

Almost. [ She tensed just slightly at his approach. Not enough to indicate discomfort, but enough to indicate a slight jumpiness. There was irony in it,somewhere, she was certain of it. After all this time she'd stopped jumping at shadows and now it was like the wounds were fresh again. The capture wasn't what bothered her, not in the slightest. No, what bothered her was the memories it had brought back to the surface.]

Not quite, but almost.

[He leaned forward, resting his chin on her shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze before he settled in.]

Relax, Ellie. It's just me. [It was understandable why she was jumpy, even if she hadn't talked about it. He only wished they could have found them sooner.]

Do you...want to talk about it?

[So many times they just hadn't talked about things that had happened. Maybe that needed to change.]

Just you. [ She repeated it and tried to give him some sort of smile that indicated that she was more okay than she felt. That was her role, wasn't it? At least with him and she clung to it a bit too much. ]

I...don't know. [ A tiny sigh was let out and she bit down on her lip. ] I'm not sure of what there is to talk about.

No, not at all. [ She offered a smile that was clearly the most forced thing in this bar, which might have been saying something to be honest. Fake it until you make it, right? She could make it seem like everything was alright, like memories hadn't been stirred, and like everything could go back to normal. She could pretend, right? ]

Pretty well all things considered. It could have been a lot worse.

[At this point, Isaac's started to catch on to when Ellie is just putting on a brave face and when she's really alright.

Her response only served to cement that thought in his mind. She was just acting, which was normal for Ellie.]

...they kidnapped you and held you against your will. I...mean...how do you feel?

Yeah?

I don't know if "it could be worse" is exactly...encouraging.

[ He knew what it was like, to go through shit like that. Not that he'd been kidnapped, or taken away -- surprisingly, people stayed away from the politician, but that may have been due to his powers more than his actual status.

But he'd seen shit. More shit than he ever shared. ]

But I feel you. Hard to complain when you can imagine there are shittier scenarios out there, right?

And I tried to hold these secrets inside me

C; Feb 2nd

b; Feb 6

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sorry for that long wait!!