[Ken's response strikes his heart, trying desperately to find an answer in those words. Trying hard to find some way to prove Ken wrong. But that was just it--he wasn't. Everything he was saying, as small and bitter as they were, was true. And Kaneda didn't know what to do, not really. All Ken had wanted was a family that could fill the hole in his small heart. He'd sought it out in Kaneda, and by proxy, Tetsuo. Two people who never experienced what a family could be. Maybe it was his mistake.
Maybe he'd assumed too much of Ken, wrongfully. The boy who'd always been by his side, even into Pan's jungle had only lost everything he ever wanted. And did it with a smile on his face and soft determination hidden underneath those brown eyes. Kaneda was none the wiser, either. All this time he liked to think he protected Ken. In some ways he did. But it was nothing compared to what Ken gave up for him.
He gave up another chance at family just so Kaneda could have it once.
Ken's voice breaks, and arms immediately wrap around the boy, one hand around his shoulders, the other reaching up. Fingers thread through that mess of brown hair, the way they always did. Kaneda never asked him, and for awhile, he could tell it irritated him. But he kept doing it, affection hidden underneath a teasing gesture, letting his fingers untangle the knots and snags that his unkempt hair created. In some ways, he did it for himself, and he studies the way his fingers move in and out of those strands of hair. It was calming, much like Ken himself.
Arms wrap tighter, hand pressed into his back while the other keeps weaving in and out of that mess of hair. Pressing him until his breath can be heard in unison with Ken's. He doesn't cry; he's already shed too many tears for that. But there is a certain shake to his breathing, like someone who's trying to keep it together.
Just like he always would for him.]
You have a home.
[His voice hitches, as if he's trying to work out what he wants to say in his head first. He wants this to get through to Ken, because by now he's worked out the self-sacrificial attitude the kid's taken on.
If Tetsuo represented his right hand, Ken represented his left.It takes a moment, working his way over the sentence as he continues to speak, swallowing hard just before he goes on.]
no subject
Maybe he'd assumed too much of Ken, wrongfully. The boy who'd always been by his side, even into Pan's jungle had only lost everything he ever wanted. And did it with a smile on his face and soft determination hidden underneath those brown eyes. Kaneda was none the wiser, either. All this time he liked to think he protected Ken. In some ways he did. But it was nothing compared to what Ken gave up for him.
He gave up another chance at family just so Kaneda could have it once.
Ken's voice breaks, and arms immediately wrap around the boy, one hand around his shoulders, the other reaching up. Fingers thread through that mess of brown hair, the way they always did. Kaneda never asked him, and for awhile, he could tell it irritated him. But he kept doing it, affection hidden underneath a teasing gesture, letting his fingers untangle the knots and snags that his unkempt hair created. In some ways, he did it for himself, and he studies the way his fingers move in and out of those strands of hair. It was calming, much like Ken himself.
Arms wrap tighter, hand pressed into his back while the other keeps weaving in and out of that mess of hair. Pressing him until his breath can be heard in unison with Ken's. He doesn't cry; he's already shed too many tears for that. But there is a certain shake to his breathing, like someone who's trying to keep it together.
Just like he always would for him.]
You have a home.
[His voice hitches, as if he's trying to work out what he wants to say in his head first. He wants this to get through to Ken, because by now he's worked out the self-sacrificial attitude the kid's taken on.
If Tetsuo represented his right hand, Ken represented his left.It takes a moment, working his way over the sentence as he continues to speak, swallowing hard just before he goes on.]
Right here.