[No, don't look at him. Kaneda's hand grips him tightly and holds him in place, but Ken brings his own hands up to cover his face. Both his shoulders and his voice shake now and he can do nothing to control it. Kala-Nemi does nothing to stop him now, spinning silently in the back of his mind as he thinks about all that has happened. All the nights he spent sleepless while Tetsuo screamed two doors down. All the days he tried to hide how he jumped at the ruckus he and Kaneda made. All the bruises he hid after Tetsuo shoved him around, the times that he had things stolen from out of his hand.
He lost his uniform and only had patches of it left, and now he's sleeping on somebody's couch. And Minato knew, now. Minato had found out. Kaneda got Tetsuo back and suddenly Ken found himself without a place he felt safe or a purpose to drive himself forward for.
He could've pushed it all back. Wrapped it up tight and hid it deep in his heart. Kala-Nemi would've helped him. She would have hid it inside her like she had done for him many times before. But Kaneda's hand is warm and his voice sounds so pained, and this voice had saved him so many times before and Ken had missed it so much. it had been so long since he let himself talk to him.]
So what? [and the first tear falls from behind his hands to disappear into the dark around them.] You never get what you deserve. How hard does someone have to work to get what they deserve? [His voice breaks at the end into a sob.] I just wanted somewhere to belong. I finally had a home.
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[No, don't look at him. Kaneda's hand grips him tightly and holds him in place, but Ken brings his own hands up to cover his face. Both his shoulders and his voice shake now and he can do nothing to control it. Kala-Nemi does nothing to stop him now, spinning silently in the back of his mind as he thinks about all that has happened. All the nights he spent sleepless while Tetsuo screamed two doors down. All the days he tried to hide how he jumped at the ruckus he and Kaneda made. All the bruises he hid after Tetsuo shoved him around, the times that he had things stolen from out of his hand.
He lost his uniform and only had patches of it left, and now he's sleeping on somebody's couch. And Minato knew, now. Minato had found out. Kaneda got Tetsuo back and suddenly Ken found himself without a place he felt safe or a purpose to drive himself forward for.
He could've pushed it all back. Wrapped it up tight and hid it deep in his heart. Kala-Nemi would've helped him. She would have hid it inside her like she had done for him many times before. But Kaneda's hand is warm and his voice sounds so pained, and this voice had saved him so many times before and Ken had missed it so much. it had been so long since he let himself talk to him.]
So what? [and the first tear falls from behind his hands to disappear into the dark around them.] You never get what you deserve. How hard does someone have to work to get what they deserve? [His voice breaks at the end into a sob.] I just wanted somewhere to belong. I finally had a home.