Kaneda's loud enough to make his ears ring, his voice echoing in Tetsuo's head. He barely even hears what Kaneda says after it, fixated on that one, single word.
Brother.
Like a moth to a flame, he circled the concept, enticed by it even though he knew it only existed to hurt him. Family doesn't exist; it always leaves him behind in the end. By now, Kaneda fit that bill; he'd done that repeatedly. But unlike any family Tetsuo knew about, Kaneda always came back.
If it's a lie, it's one that Tetsuo can't turn away from. It's stupid to trust after Pan, stupid to let himself believe anyone could care... but they've had so many years when Tetsuo never questioned it. Even now, after throwing him through lamp post, walls, doors, Kaneda brought him home. Even after shooting him, even after disowning everything Kaneda associated with, and after throwing away everything familiar between them...
Kaneda's first instinct is to hold him as he cries.
But Kaneda let him die. Kaneda left him for dead at the swear in. Kaneda tossed him out at the very start, even though he actually said sorry.
It's hard to know what to think beyond the pained ball of hurt and fear. Deep inside him, he manages to find one more reserve of strength, just enough to tense his arms and hug tighter than ever, trembling with exertion, exhaustion and raw emotion. New tears run hot down his cheeks, but Kaneda's shoulder is already way too damp to make much difference.]
no subject
Kaneda's loud enough to make his ears ring, his voice echoing in Tetsuo's head. He barely even hears what Kaneda says after it, fixated on that one, single word.
Brother.
Like a moth to a flame, he circled the concept, enticed by it even though he knew it only existed to hurt him. Family doesn't exist; it always leaves him behind in the end. By now, Kaneda fit that bill; he'd done that repeatedly. But unlike any family Tetsuo knew about, Kaneda always came back.
If it's a lie, it's one that Tetsuo can't turn away from. It's stupid to trust after Pan, stupid to let himself believe anyone could care... but they've had so many years when Tetsuo never questioned it. Even now, after throwing him through lamp post, walls, doors, Kaneda brought him home. Even after shooting him, even after disowning everything Kaneda associated with, and after throwing away everything familiar between them...
Kaneda's first instinct is to hold him as he cries.
But Kaneda let him die. Kaneda left him for dead at the swear in. Kaneda tossed him out at the very start, even though he actually said sorry.
It's hard to know what to think beyond the pained ball of hurt and fear. Deep inside him, he manages to find one more reserve of strength, just enough to tense his arms and hug tighter than ever, trembling with exertion, exhaustion and raw emotion. New tears run hot down his cheeks, but Kaneda's shoulder is already way too damp to make much difference.]