[He'd almost wondered if Kaneda would follow him at all.
Some shred of memory of his past life sticks with him, feeding a repeating line deep in his subconscious - if Kaneda wanted to, if there was anything really left between them at all.. he would have been there. He would have done something. But of course, Kaneda could not have left it at that. Maybe Tetsuo's glad he didn't, maybe he's not - everything's collected into a painful barb of emotions until he can't sort them out anymore.
So he'll say what has to be said. Every word feels like his heart's being squeezed all over again, but this isn't a pain that'll end. It's one that's been slowly killing him since the day he showed up on these steps, and one that's never, ever going to go away. What does Kaneda want from him? Why is he still here? Why did he mark him with that jacket until he got back? Simple.
Closure.
For the first time in what feels like forever, Tetsuo feels like himself again... and he would give anything to be someone else.]
You want me to say it?
[His throat closes on him completely, clipping the sentence oddly short. Shaking his head as if that'll help, he tries again. Again, he's trying to move to cut Kaneda off verbally, cut the conversation short until it can't hurt him anymore.]
You win, Kaneda... Is that what you wanna hear?
[On the inside, he's willing himself to scream it, find that bravado he found with his power. In reality, the words are little more than a whisper. Maybe too quiet to be heard from how far away Kaneda is.]
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Some shred of memory of his past life sticks with him, feeding a repeating line deep in his subconscious - if Kaneda wanted to, if there was anything really left between them at all.. he would have been there. He would have done something. But of course, Kaneda could not have left it at that. Maybe Tetsuo's glad he didn't, maybe he's not - everything's collected into a painful barb of emotions until he can't sort them out anymore.
So he'll say what has to be said. Every word feels like his heart's being squeezed all over again, but this isn't a pain that'll end. It's one that's been slowly killing him since the day he showed up on these steps, and one that's never, ever going to go away. What does Kaneda want from him? Why is he still here? Why did he mark him with that jacket until he got back? Simple.
Closure.
For the first time in what feels like forever, Tetsuo feels like himself again... and he would give anything to be someone else.]
You want me to say it?
[His throat closes on him completely, clipping the sentence oddly short. Shaking his head as if that'll help, he tries again. Again, he's trying to move to cut Kaneda off verbally, cut the conversation short until it can't hurt him anymore.]
You win, Kaneda... Is that what you wanna hear?
[On the inside, he's willing himself to scream it, find that bravado he found with his power. In reality, the words are little more than a whisper. Maybe too quiet to be heard from how far away Kaneda is.]