[There's a soft gasp as those arms wrap around him, feeling his face press into her shoulder, eyes widened as they stare blankly over it, fixated on Tetsuo's limp, lifeless body. Hugs were something he never expected out of anyone, and everytime they happen, it's like he's surprised all over again. His body doesn't respond at first--too busy overcome with the weight resting on his shoulders.
He couldn't take it anymore. He just couldn't take it anymore.
Arms reach up, gripping onto Maya's clothes like she'd disappear if he let loose for even a second, eyes burning with tears that were finally breaking free. Streaks form on his cheeks, and his body shivers as that sob finds its way to his throat.
And there, right there, Kaneda cries. A soft scream erupts from his mouth, a sound so foreign to him he almost didn't recognize it. When had been the last time he'd cried like this? Had he ever? It was so long ago, it didn't even feel like it existed. There were so many times that Tetsuo cried, that Kaneda would hold him much like Maya was doing now. But none of them were his own, and in some weird form of panic, he doesn't know what to do.
What do you DO when you cry?
He holds Maya like a doll, fingers threading through her hair absently as his whole body leans into her. Eyes never once leaving Tetsuo. His heart pounds rapidly, his chest heaves to force air into his lungs, although not as fast as it comes out in those loud sobs. He can't stop--why can't he stop? Why won't the tears stop pooling around his eyes? Why wouldn't the sound of his voice wake Tetsuo up, and why did screaming louder seem like a better idea than stopping?
His arms envelope Maya, his tear-stricken face leaning against it as he finally shuts those eyes. Feeling the burn of tears and darkness sweep over for just a moment.]
I'm sorry.
[That voice was barely above a whisper, and if you had to guess, you almost couldn't peg it as belonging to Kaneda. It's sweet, gentle....]
I'M SORRY!! [As brief as that moment was, his eyes snap open, once again trained on Tetsuo's body, fingers clinging onto Maya's shirt back until he can feel his knuckles white from the grip. Tears flowed freely, dampening that shoulder that his face had all but buried into.]
[He doesn't stop, his voice now mixing up English and Japanese until he can't tell one apart from the other. It goes and goes until he wears himself out, hoping that maybe...just maybe...
One of those would reach him.
When his body finally tires, his voice hoarse from the screaming and the crying, he buries his face into Maya's shoulder again, succumbing to soft sobs and shaky breaths.
He never wanted anyone to see him like this. He'd always been so strong these past six months. Ken believed in him, Rick believed in him. Everyone believed in him. And most of all, he believed in himself.
He was Kaneda, after all. He could do anything.
But just not as quick as he could mess up his life.]
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He couldn't take it anymore. He just couldn't take it anymore.
Arms reach up, gripping onto Maya's clothes like she'd disappear if he let loose for even a second, eyes burning with tears that were finally breaking free. Streaks form on his cheeks, and his body shivers as that sob finds its way to his throat.
And there, right there, Kaneda cries. A soft scream erupts from his mouth, a sound so foreign to him he almost didn't recognize it. When had been the last time he'd cried like this? Had he ever? It was so long ago, it didn't even feel like it existed. There were so many times that Tetsuo cried, that Kaneda would hold him much like Maya was doing now. But none of them were his own, and in some weird form of panic, he doesn't know what to do.
What do you DO when you cry?
He holds Maya like a doll, fingers threading through her hair absently as his whole body leans into her. Eyes never once leaving Tetsuo. His heart pounds rapidly, his chest heaves to force air into his lungs, although not as fast as it comes out in those loud sobs. He can't stop--why can't he stop? Why won't the tears stop pooling around his eyes? Why wouldn't the sound of his voice wake Tetsuo up, and why did screaming louder seem like a better idea than stopping?
His arms envelope Maya, his tear-stricken face leaning against it as he finally shuts those eyes. Feeling the burn of tears and darkness sweep over for just a moment.]
I'm sorry.
[That voice was barely above a whisper, and if you had to guess, you almost couldn't peg it as belonging to Kaneda. It's sweet, gentle....]
I'M SORRY!! [As brief as that moment was, his eyes snap open, once again trained on Tetsuo's body, fingers clinging onto Maya's shirt back until he can feel his knuckles white from the grip. Tears flowed freely, dampening that shoulder that his face had all but buried into.]
I'm SORRY!! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!!! I'm--
GOMEN!! Gomennasai!!!!
[He doesn't stop, his voice now mixing up English and Japanese until he can't tell one apart from the other. It goes and goes until he wears himself out, hoping that maybe...just maybe...
One of those would reach him.
When his body finally tires, his voice hoarse from the screaming and the crying, he buries his face into Maya's shoulder again, succumbing to soft sobs and shaky breaths.
He never wanted anyone to see him like this. He'd always been so strong these past six months. Ken believed in him, Rick believed in him. Everyone believed in him. And most of all, he believed in himself.
He was Kaneda, after all. He could do anything.
But just not as quick as he could mess up his life.]