Major Kaidan Alenko (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kanadian) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenacelogs2015-10-06 06:49 pm
kanadian) wrote in maskormenacelogs2015-10-06 06:49 pm
Got clouds that seem to follow me
WHO: KAIDAN ALENKO and YOU
WHERE: All over
WHEN: The Month of October
WHAT: Open Log!
WARNINGS: will edit if needed
[1 - Heropa (10/1-9th)]
The military base was in Heropa, so it made sense that he lived close by. The small apartment he shared with Shepard wasn't very far, close enough that he had a routine, and for any soldier, that was the least they could ask for. He thrived on having a routine, in doing something the same way, and having plenty of time to do other things. Early mornings, around four thirty, it was the same every day. Wake up, run for an hour, get a coffee and six muffins from the café right down the road, go home, shower, eat half the muffins, and head to the base. Afternoons was the same thing, leave, run for another hour or two, get a snack, and loiter around town a bit before heading home. This was when he was caught easiest, browsing the bookstore, or grabbing one-too-many hotdogs out of a stand that he fully intended to eat himself, and after paying, he started shoving them down -- easiest time to catch him, honestly. Whether it was because you ran into him, or maybe because you saw that one of those dogs was about to slip free and hit the ground -- or maybe he's got an afternoon coffee (just as black as his morning coffee) and he's about to trip over a dog rushing across his path. Or maybe he just sipped it, before he pulled it away, making a face because it's too hot for October in Florida, but it's definitely too hot for October in November.
Honestly, he was his usual self, which meant he was likely going to stumble into something sooner, rather than later.
[2 - Nonah + De Chima + Maurtia Falls (10/1-31)]
He'd ended up outside of Heropa, not for a business reason, or for Rise, or even for Archangel, but because he'd heard about a nice place to eat. (A biotic's heart was truly through his stomach) And maybe he was there because he had to take someone out to dinner, thanks to his problems with text messaging, earlier in the month. He was really just out to get something to eat, but depending on when, he may be less than good company, but he'll at least force a smile, and still pay for dinner, no matter how expensive it gets. He's just a good guy, after all, and really was willing to do what he'd say he did, even if he'd done it accidentally.
[3 - A Bar anywhere (10/10-29th)]
It wasn't every night, but at some point, it got into being a habit. Biotic metabolism meant that drinking wasn't exactly going to be the worst thing in the world for him. He processed it so fast it was more the taste than the inebriation, unless he drank a lot, but after the 9th, Kaidan found himself going out more. It wasn't that he really wanted to be around other people, but he didn't want to be alone either, and with Mako throwing a fit at home, it was probably better to be out than in. Although, that was another layer to the guilt, wasn't it? Being home meant he'd be home if --
No, it didn't matter right now. At the bar, with a drink in his hand, it was obvious the marine wasn't exactly having a good night, or really, a good month. He'd rather be here, where it wasn't Too Quiet, or the dog wasn't upset, and the only thing on the TV was a game he didn't care about, and a beer in his hand there rather than here where it was more acceptable. He didn't think he would over-indulge, but... well, something about being around other people, where they could see kept him even more firmly in control than he'd normally allow. Unless someone came by and encouraged him to drink more, of course. He shook his head, occasionally, and waved for another drink, but kept his ass pretty firmly planted in the seat, his head down, and the grimace on his face clear that he wasn't having a good one. Honestly, it was a far cry from the Kaidan Alenko most people knew.
[4 - WILDCARD. (Anytime, anywhere!)]
[ If you'd like me to throw up a starter, I'll be available either through PM or through![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
Hundreds so please let me know, I'd be happy to lay something down! And just as an aside, since Shepard is getting ported out on the 9th, from the 10th onward Kaidan will be less good company. I'm cool with backdating or forward dating, or whatever you'd like! ]
WHERE: All over
WHEN: The Month of October
WHAT: Open Log!
WARNINGS: will edit if needed
[1 - Heropa (10/1-9th)]
The military base was in Heropa, so it made sense that he lived close by. The small apartment he shared with Shepard wasn't very far, close enough that he had a routine, and for any soldier, that was the least they could ask for. He thrived on having a routine, in doing something the same way, and having plenty of time to do other things. Early mornings, around four thirty, it was the same every day. Wake up, run for an hour, get a coffee and six muffins from the café right down the road, go home, shower, eat half the muffins, and head to the base. Afternoons was the same thing, leave, run for another hour or two, get a snack, and loiter around town a bit before heading home. This was when he was caught easiest, browsing the bookstore, or grabbing one-too-many hotdogs out of a stand that he fully intended to eat himself, and after paying, he started shoving them down -- easiest time to catch him, honestly. Whether it was because you ran into him, or maybe because you saw that one of those dogs was about to slip free and hit the ground -- or maybe he's got an afternoon coffee (just as black as his morning coffee) and he's about to trip over a dog rushing across his path. Or maybe he just sipped it, before he pulled it away, making a face because it's too hot for October in Florida, but it's definitely too hot for October in November.
Honestly, he was his usual self, which meant he was likely going to stumble into something sooner, rather than later.
[2 - Nonah + De Chima + Maurtia Falls (10/1-31)]
He'd ended up outside of Heropa, not for a business reason, or for Rise, or even for Archangel, but because he'd heard about a nice place to eat. (A biotic's heart was truly through his stomach) And maybe he was there because he had to take someone out to dinner, thanks to his problems with text messaging, earlier in the month. He was really just out to get something to eat, but depending on when, he may be less than good company, but he'll at least force a smile, and still pay for dinner, no matter how expensive it gets. He's just a good guy, after all, and really was willing to do what he'd say he did, even if he'd done it accidentally.
[3 - A Bar anywhere (10/10-29th)]
It wasn't every night, but at some point, it got into being a habit. Biotic metabolism meant that drinking wasn't exactly going to be the worst thing in the world for him. He processed it so fast it was more the taste than the inebriation, unless he drank a lot, but after the 9th, Kaidan found himself going out more. It wasn't that he really wanted to be around other people, but he didn't want to be alone either, and with Mako throwing a fit at home, it was probably better to be out than in. Although, that was another layer to the guilt, wasn't it? Being home meant he'd be home if --
No, it didn't matter right now. At the bar, with a drink in his hand, it was obvious the marine wasn't exactly having a good night, or really, a good month. He'd rather be here, where it wasn't Too Quiet, or the dog wasn't upset, and the only thing on the TV was a game he didn't care about, and a beer in his hand there rather than here where it was more acceptable. He didn't think he would over-indulge, but... well, something about being around other people, where they could see kept him even more firmly in control than he'd normally allow. Unless someone came by and encouraged him to drink more, of course. He shook his head, occasionally, and waved for another drink, but kept his ass pretty firmly planted in the seat, his head down, and the grimace on his face clear that he wasn't having a good one. Honestly, it was a far cry from the Kaidan Alenko most people knew.
[4 - WILDCARD. (Anytime, anywhere!)]
[ If you'd like me to throw up a starter, I'll be available either through PM or through
no subject
[ That was pretty much it. He didn't want to ask anyone for drinks. Kaidan Alenko didn't want to ask anyone, because he was trying not to think about the fact that he needed anyone. Or rather -- he didn't want to be a bother about the whole damn thing. It was his boyfriend, sure, but they were all Shepard's crew, and he didn't want to make out his situation to be worse than theirs.
Of course, nobody else was dating him, but that didn't really seem to factor into Kaidan's self-judging appraisal of himself. ]
I don't know, I wasn't exactly expecting anyone to show up and just pay for my drinks?
no subject
[Joker pulls out his wallet from his pocket, slowly counts some out, puts it on the bar, and slides it across to the bartender.]
Whatever he's drinking, make it a double and bring me one too.
[Look at how easy that was, Alenko. So easy, and now you have free alcohol.]
Okay, so are we gonna talk about your shit like adults now and do the whole touchy-feely bull, or are we gonna skip the feelings bit and go straight to the hookers and blow?
no subject
[ Oh. The way his voice dipped. A little speechless, a little low, like the sound someone would make when they were judging so hard because of the simple fact that Joker was suggesting that barely even a month out from when Shepard left that they were going to be getting high, and ordering hookers. Kaidan Alenko, his voice suggested, didn't order hookers. ]
I think we should skip that part altogether. Although I'm not --
I'm not sure what there is to talk about? I mean, we all know what's happened, there's no point to...belabor it, right?
no subject
[Kaidan Alenko is clearly a boring asshole. But, sure, Joker knows that Kaidan would never be down with actually ordering hookers and blow, but he asks because this shit is expected of him. It's what he does, it's how he handles shitty situations-- by poking fun at them. Control through humor.]
[He props his elbow on the bar and his chin on his hand and looks sidelong at Alenko.]
Look, I'm gonna be straight with you for a hot second. The way you're acting and the fact that you look like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag right now says that you've probably got some shit on your mind that you're keeping locked up in some polite Canadian box underneath your fantastic pompadour. What I'm offering you here is a once-in-a-lifetime deal: bitch at me, Alenko. Sure, you could keep doing this whole stoic bull you've got going, it's very Bogart, or you could get some crap off of your chest.
[He gestures at himself with his free hand.]
Captive audience, zero judgement.
[Sure, complaining about why this sucks personally for Alenko-- because it does suck in a way very specific to him-- doesn't actually change anything, but it tends to make people feel better. A little commiseration and a sympathetic ear to go along with his free alcohol.]
no subject
I -- uh -- I appreciate it?
[ And he did, honestly, and he looked down at his hands. Joker's offer was...surprisingly thoughtful, considering what had just recently happened. He hadn't been expecting much of anything other than distraction by way of being horrified at the next thing that came out of Joker's mouth, so this...? A little different. ]
I honestly don't...even know what to say? I mean, he's gone, right? We've been through this before.
no subject
[He shrugs, because... fuck, what are you supposed to say when stupid B-movie sci-fi shit like that is your real life? If he'd known his life was going to be this batshit when he signed up to be chief helmsman on the Normandy, he would've asked for higher pay.]
And, yeah, Shepard's gone and it sucks for all of us, but we're not the ones who were dating the guy. Totally different flavors of suck going on.
[And Kaidan doesn't appear to be handling this kind of suck all that well. Joker tries real hard to make it look like he doesn't, but he worries about his crew when things hit the fan.]
no subject
[ He answered automatically, almost wryly. It's easy to make things into jokes, like this. It's better, right? Better to do that instead of deal with the difficult reality that was the fact that John was gone. He still wanted to hold onto hope that he'd be back soon. That this was just temporary, and it didn't feel right to bitch about it to people when tomorrow it could all be fixed, and John wasn't gone.
But Joker had said no judgments, right? Well, with Kaidan around, that was probably amended to few judgments. He knew he judged plenty on his own. ]
I guess I just...hadn't braced myself for this. We'd both been here for a while, but it hasn't even -- It wasn't long enough. I mean, I guess...
[ A pause, and then he did go for the drink. ]
I guess there's the reality that no matter what, it's... we could die any moment when we get home. It's never really going to be enough.
no subject
[But at the mention of dying, Joker looks down at his drink to avoid staring too hard at Alenko. Dying at any moment already happened to Kaidan in his universe, so hearing it now from the man's mouth is... unsettling. Premonitious.]
Well, hell, Alenko, what would we do with ourselves if we weren't in imminent danger all the time? [He says it archly; a joke, like it's their choice that they keep ending up knee deep in shit.]
But, yeah, it sucks. I wish I could tell you something that'll make this shit look better. Though we do have a pretty good track record when it comes to surviving impossible odds, so... there's that.
no subject
[ Which doesn't help. He knew it sucked. He'd known it sucked the moment he'd started writing that letter to Shepard he never got to send. He knew it sucked because they could die, hell, he'd just looked down the barrel at Shepard back home, before he showed up here, and now... Now Shepard was gone.
At least this time he'd taken the plunge. And who knew? Maybe back home they'd have more than just the few months they'd had, right? That was something. ]
I guess I just got a little greedy, you know? I thought we'd get more. Even if it was here.
no subject
[Well, okay, maybe Joker doesn't get to have nice things, but he's not the focus of this conversation right now. The point is that this sad sack of polite Canadian judginess still deserves to have his space marine boyfriend cake and eat it, too.]
And, hey, maybe Shepard'll kick major reaper ass and you two can, I dunno, do whatever it is you want to do for the rest of your lives. Adopt like thirty fat dogs and let Shepard feed them to death, whatever floats your guys' boats.
no subject
[ Kaidan says, as if he can say no to Shepard ever. But at least the sentiment is there, and the half-grin that says very clearly that while it could be a pipe dream, he knows that Shepard wouldn't be able to stand still for that long. ]
But as great and boring as that sounds, I'm pretty sure none of us would actually be able to handle that for long. I'm driving myself up the wall here, but... I guess the sentiment is true enough. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still hoping he'll come back, but...
I guess I've seen it often enough where people don't, and I don't want to end up disappointed.
no subject
[The whole not wanting to be disappointed thing, anyway. Keep your expectations low enough and you won't be let down as many times, but your worldview will also suck balls. It's a trade-off.]
I'm not saying that you have to be a freaking fountain of optimism or anything.
[If anybody had the right to mope right now, it's Alenko. He got a double hit from this one-- down a CO and a boyfriend.]
But you've been sitting here longer than an hour and a half, I can tell. [Don't try to bullshit a bullshitter.] I kinda hate you for making me sound like my own mother, but when did you last eat anything? And like, real food, not bar peanuts or something.
no subject
Which for a biotic... ]
I had breakfast? [ A beat. ] I think I skipped Lunch today, I was busy...
[ For a biotic? That's bad. ]
I'm fine, Joker. Really.
no subject
[See, Alenko? See what you've done now? Now Joker has to mother you, because he can't leave a biotic sitting around at a bar when he hasn't eaten all day.]
[Joker tosses enough cash onto the bar to pay for whatever Kaidan's bill is at this point.]
Get up, dumbass, you're getting something to eat.
[Guess that dinner he'd gotten out of Kaidan is about to get paid back. Well, everyone always said that there's no such thing as a free lunch.]
no subject
[ He attests, but he's getting up. Because a biotic stomach will be lead by one thing, and one thing only. Food. ] I just got caught up with work, it's not a big deal.
[ He huffed. He wasn't starving himself, not really. He just got caught up in all the things he had to do, and forgot about the basics, like eating. It was easier, when he planned to get dinner together because Shepard would be home in twenty, but it was harder when he couldn't plan for even that. ]
But fine, I'm hungry anyway. I'll pay.
[ It's not because you told me to, mom! ]
no subject
[Joker stands and starts making his way to the door, and Alenko better follow him because it would be embarrassing for everyone if he has to try to drag a stupid Canadian marine out of the bar by his ear.]
Shut up, Alenko. [Maybe if Kaidan can get the check from him fast enough, he can pay. But that's a matter to argue about later.] I know a burger place that's not real far from here.
[You'll eat burgers and you'll friggin' like it, so help him.]
no subject
[ He's not going to bellyache too much, which is good. It would be embarrassing to be led out of a bar by his ear by Joker, of all people. And it's at least not bad that it's going to be burgers.
Because at least it's food, and greasy food at that. Kaidan might have put on a bit of weight since showing up in Heropa, but this past month definitely pulled him back to his old routines -- which means he's lost weight. But at least his abs looked nice. ]
You know, everyone underestimates how much of a mom you can be, you know that, right?
no subject
[The diner's only a few blocks away, so at least it won't be far to walk. A plus when you have to deal with Joker's shitty limping gait.]
Call me mom again and I'll give you something to really bitch about.
[He tries to keep his worrying habits a secret, mostly because it would ruin his reputation. But worrying about the crew is kind of in his job description; he's the one who has to get everyone to and from the battlefield safely, and he's the one who gets called when something goes tits up and they need a rescue. They rely on him to keep them safe when they're on the ship, and Joker takes his actual duties a lot more seriously than he takes Alliance appearance regulations.]
[So, yeah, he worries. He just doesn't fuss unless someone's being real stupid.]
no subject
[ His grin said clearly that he wasn't about to let Joker get away unscathed from this. After all, he razzed enough of them that giving him a little taste of his own medicine for once felt kind of good.
Especially because Joker was mothering him. Of all people. ]
I think it's... nice, Joker. Means a lot.
no subject
[That's you, Alenko. You're the manchild who needs somebody to remind him to eat and buy him a burger because he's too sad to get his own. That's way more embarrassing than being the Responsible Adult in the situation, as much as Joker hates that he has to be the reasonable one.]
Stow your sass, Alenko.
no subject
[ He protested. Softly. Not quite insulted, but certainly trying to mimic it.
Joker had a point, after all, and he knew it. ]
I wasn't trying to sass you. [ He added, more half a mumble and a touch more sullen. ]
no subject
[He walked up to a burger joint-- aptly named Cholesterol, Inc.-- and walked inside. It's appropriately kitschy and burger joint-y inside, with all the checkerboard laminate and vinyl seating that you'd expect.]
Shut up and sit down and eat something.
no subject
[ He admitted, and followed, eyes scanning over the menu before he grinned, and then winced. ]
Wow, I'm hungrier than I thought. Think they could course burgers out?
no subject
Probably. Knock yourself out or whatever. Go crazy.
[Try not to eat Joker out of house and home, though.]
no subject
You're putting up with forcing me out to dinner in good humor, you know that, right?