Major Kaidan Alenko (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kanadian) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenacelogs2015-10-06 06:49 pm
kanadian) wrote in maskormenacelogs2015-10-06 06:49 pm
Got clouds that seem to follow me
WHO: KAIDAN ALENKO and YOU
WHERE: All over
WHEN: The Month of October
WHAT: Open Log!
WARNINGS: will edit if needed
[1 - Heropa (10/1-9th)]
The military base was in Heropa, so it made sense that he lived close by. The small apartment he shared with Shepard wasn't very far, close enough that he had a routine, and for any soldier, that was the least they could ask for. He thrived on having a routine, in doing something the same way, and having plenty of time to do other things. Early mornings, around four thirty, it was the same every day. Wake up, run for an hour, get a coffee and six muffins from the café right down the road, go home, shower, eat half the muffins, and head to the base. Afternoons was the same thing, leave, run for another hour or two, get a snack, and loiter around town a bit before heading home. This was when he was caught easiest, browsing the bookstore, or grabbing one-too-many hotdogs out of a stand that he fully intended to eat himself, and after paying, he started shoving them down -- easiest time to catch him, honestly. Whether it was because you ran into him, or maybe because you saw that one of those dogs was about to slip free and hit the ground -- or maybe he's got an afternoon coffee (just as black as his morning coffee) and he's about to trip over a dog rushing across his path. Or maybe he just sipped it, before he pulled it away, making a face because it's too hot for October in Florida, but it's definitely too hot for October in November.
Honestly, he was his usual self, which meant he was likely going to stumble into something sooner, rather than later.
[2 - Nonah + De Chima + Maurtia Falls (10/1-31)]
He'd ended up outside of Heropa, not for a business reason, or for Rise, or even for Archangel, but because he'd heard about a nice place to eat. (A biotic's heart was truly through his stomach) And maybe he was there because he had to take someone out to dinner, thanks to his problems with text messaging, earlier in the month. He was really just out to get something to eat, but depending on when, he may be less than good company, but he'll at least force a smile, and still pay for dinner, no matter how expensive it gets. He's just a good guy, after all, and really was willing to do what he'd say he did, even if he'd done it accidentally.
[3 - A Bar anywhere (10/10-29th)]
It wasn't every night, but at some point, it got into being a habit. Biotic metabolism meant that drinking wasn't exactly going to be the worst thing in the world for him. He processed it so fast it was more the taste than the inebriation, unless he drank a lot, but after the 9th, Kaidan found himself going out more. It wasn't that he really wanted to be around other people, but he didn't want to be alone either, and with Mako throwing a fit at home, it was probably better to be out than in. Although, that was another layer to the guilt, wasn't it? Being home meant he'd be home if --
No, it didn't matter right now. At the bar, with a drink in his hand, it was obvious the marine wasn't exactly having a good night, or really, a good month. He'd rather be here, where it wasn't Too Quiet, or the dog wasn't upset, and the only thing on the TV was a game he didn't care about, and a beer in his hand there rather than here where it was more acceptable. He didn't think he would over-indulge, but... well, something about being around other people, where they could see kept him even more firmly in control than he'd normally allow. Unless someone came by and encouraged him to drink more, of course. He shook his head, occasionally, and waved for another drink, but kept his ass pretty firmly planted in the seat, his head down, and the grimace on his face clear that he wasn't having a good one. Honestly, it was a far cry from the Kaidan Alenko most people knew.
[4 - WILDCARD. (Anytime, anywhere!)]
[ If you'd like me to throw up a starter, I'll be available either through PM or through![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
Hundreds so please let me know, I'd be happy to lay something down! And just as an aside, since Shepard is getting ported out on the 9th, from the 10th onward Kaidan will be less good company. I'm cool with backdating or forward dating, or whatever you'd like! ]
WHERE: All over
WHEN: The Month of October
WHAT: Open Log!
WARNINGS: will edit if needed
[1 - Heropa (10/1-9th)]
The military base was in Heropa, so it made sense that he lived close by. The small apartment he shared with Shepard wasn't very far, close enough that he had a routine, and for any soldier, that was the least they could ask for. He thrived on having a routine, in doing something the same way, and having plenty of time to do other things. Early mornings, around four thirty, it was the same every day. Wake up, run for an hour, get a coffee and six muffins from the café right down the road, go home, shower, eat half the muffins, and head to the base. Afternoons was the same thing, leave, run for another hour or two, get a snack, and loiter around town a bit before heading home. This was when he was caught easiest, browsing the bookstore, or grabbing one-too-many hotdogs out of a stand that he fully intended to eat himself, and after paying, he started shoving them down -- easiest time to catch him, honestly. Whether it was because you ran into him, or maybe because you saw that one of those dogs was about to slip free and hit the ground -- or maybe he's got an afternoon coffee (just as black as his morning coffee) and he's about to trip over a dog rushing across his path. Or maybe he just sipped it, before he pulled it away, making a face because it's too hot for October in Florida, but it's definitely too hot for October in November.
Honestly, he was his usual self, which meant he was likely going to stumble into something sooner, rather than later.
[2 - Nonah + De Chima + Maurtia Falls (10/1-31)]
He'd ended up outside of Heropa, not for a business reason, or for Rise, or even for Archangel, but because he'd heard about a nice place to eat. (A biotic's heart was truly through his stomach) And maybe he was there because he had to take someone out to dinner, thanks to his problems with text messaging, earlier in the month. He was really just out to get something to eat, but depending on when, he may be less than good company, but he'll at least force a smile, and still pay for dinner, no matter how expensive it gets. He's just a good guy, after all, and really was willing to do what he'd say he did, even if he'd done it accidentally.
[3 - A Bar anywhere (10/10-29th)]
It wasn't every night, but at some point, it got into being a habit. Biotic metabolism meant that drinking wasn't exactly going to be the worst thing in the world for him. He processed it so fast it was more the taste than the inebriation, unless he drank a lot, but after the 9th, Kaidan found himself going out more. It wasn't that he really wanted to be around other people, but he didn't want to be alone either, and with Mako throwing a fit at home, it was probably better to be out than in. Although, that was another layer to the guilt, wasn't it? Being home meant he'd be home if --
No, it didn't matter right now. At the bar, with a drink in his hand, it was obvious the marine wasn't exactly having a good night, or really, a good month. He'd rather be here, where it wasn't Too Quiet, or the dog wasn't upset, and the only thing on the TV was a game he didn't care about, and a beer in his hand there rather than here where it was more acceptable. He didn't think he would over-indulge, but... well, something about being around other people, where they could see kept him even more firmly in control than he'd normally allow. Unless someone came by and encouraged him to drink more, of course. He shook his head, occasionally, and waved for another drink, but kept his ass pretty firmly planted in the seat, his head down, and the grimace on his face clear that he wasn't having a good one. Honestly, it was a far cry from the Kaidan Alenko most people knew.
[4 - WILDCARD. (Anytime, anywhere!)]
[ If you'd like me to throw up a starter, I'll be available either through PM or through
no subject
[ The truth is that Kasumi likely took Mako out once she came in and realized Kaidan hadn't been back. Now imagine that--Kasumi Goto, walking a dog around Heropa. Or maybe it would have just looked like Mako was walking herself. Which is probably why Kasumi won't outright say she took Mako out for a walk. That aside... ]
... How are you, Kaidan?
[ Because there's really no beating around the bush, here. She knows Kaidan's a wreck, even if he won't let it show much, because how could he be anything but at a time like this? ]
no subject
[ He paused. He could lie, but he knew that Kasumi would be able to tell, and really... there was no point in lying, was there? He could act tough, but that wasn't going to do the rest of the crew well. He could admit his weakness, as long as he didn't let it devour him, right? That would be better.
After all, if he wasn't upset, would he really actually deserve to be with Shepard? He knew he didn't, if he didn't value every moment that he had with him. ]
Getting by. [ He finally finished, and sighed, and turned to lock the door behind him, and toss his keys in the dish by the door. ] It's an adjustment, for the both of us.
Did you feed her too?
[ It was easier, to focus on what to do, than it was to fret over and over. The apartment itself? Was pristine, cleaner than Kasumi had likely ever seen it. The books on shelves perfectly arranged. Shepard's things all put away neatly -- everything put away neatly, and nothing out of place. It was obvious that whenever he'd been home, Kaidan hadn't exactly been idle ]
no subject
[ To which Mako immediately whines. Sorry, girl, but Kasumi's not here to bend to her every whim. Besides, she knew she could leave that to Kaidan; he'd need something to do. All the while, there's a tentative smile across her lips. Honestly? Kaidan's holding up pretty well against Kasumi's standard. She knows she wouldn't have had the presence of mind he does if she were in his place. When Keiji died, slipped into a despondent state; their apartment on Illium went largely untouched, save for the bed, the sheets Kasumi saw fit to burrow herself into for what seemed like ages. Even the flowers around their place began to wilt.
But, then again, this is different. Shep's alive. He's not here, but he's alive. But still, Kasumi is inclined to give Kaidan credit for his composure, even though she knows he probably feels like he's anything but composed inside. ]
I was actually going to say... You look well, Kaidan.
no subject
[ He shifted, before he made his way across the room to the food dish, which sent Mako scrambling with her fat, stubby legs, going straight for the bowl. Since Shepard wasn't around, she was on a hell of a diet, Kaidan hadn't exactly been kind on the fat corgi, who was probably already starting to look pitifully at every human she passed for even the barest scrap of food.
She even had diet food.
That was the level of dog daddy he'd become without Shepard. Because if he couldn't control his boyfriend's lack of being here, he could control everything else, right? ]
You, uh, you didn't have to check in. I've been...okay. [ Okay was a euphanism. For not okay. He'd already taken to looking at the door with every creak, but he knew it was a lost cause. There was no point in looking every time, but he still did it. Every damn time. ] It's not that boring out there, is it?
no subject
Yup, it really is.
[ And a beat. ] And -- you know, maybe I don't have to be that bored to come here willingly.
no subject
[ He straightened, after filling Mako's bowl, and the fat corgi took to it like she'd been starving all day (she hadn't been) and Kaidan made his way to the other side of the couch, to flop into it, not even bothering to get his customary drink before he sat down. Other than at bars, he hadn't been drinking much at home lately. It was harder, when you were by yourself. It just felt a hell of a lot sadder. ]
I know, but... I don't -- I don't want to be a bother on anyone. We're alright, so far.
[ Alright was code, of course. For not doing well. ]
no subject
There's nothing wrong with not being alright, by the way. Though I already said that.
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[ His face fell, slightly. He didn't... want to not be alright. If Shepard came back tomorrow, wouldn't it have been a waste? To be so sad? ]
I don't know, Kasumi, I just -- I don't know what to think yet. [ And obviously, he'd been ignoring trying to figure that out. ]
no subject
[ a beat. ] I mean, you miss him, don't you?
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[ It's out, immediately, and he sighed, heavily. His shoulders slumped, and he put his hands on his knees, leaning forward to hold his head in his hands. ]
That's selfish, isn't it? We should all be home, so I shouldn't exactly be wishing for him to come back. We don't know how much of a guarantee it is that time won't move while we're here, you know? What if eventually it starts moving again, and we're stuck here?
I can't just want him to come back.
no subject
I know.
[ She pauses, letting out a long breath, almost a sigh. ] You can, though. Feel that way. It might be selfish and it might not be right, but it's how you feel, and that's just how it is. It kind of feels like we're fighting a losing battle, either way.
no subject
[ He did know. He really did. He knew how bad it was, but how he shouldn't exactly be holding what he wants over what the galaxy needs, even if it was far and away at that time and moment. ]
I'm so used to thinking...about these things like they aren't personal, I guess. I'm not used to these things...coming close? Last time we lost Shepard we were...friends? And he died, not just...vanished, went back home, whatever it was.
It's different, this time. I don't know how to feel about it.