"My reasons," he repeats, trying out the sound and feel of the word on his own tongue. It wan't that he was without a reason before; he at least convinced himself that he had one. It used to feel thick and impossible to breathe around when he used to say it, growling to himself that his reason was revenge and nothing more. Right now, the word feels foreign all over again.

His reason. Would he be able to find that? Even with the revenge out of the way, even trying to tell himself that he wouldn't try to die again, all he can see ahead are Shadows. Shadows, the Dark Hour, Tartarus -- he wants them to end, but what will happen to him after? He'd told Jaime that he and Koromaru would just have to find a place after because he didn't think the dorm would stay open after. He wouldn't return to his relatives' place, anyway. Would he be able to return to a 'normal' life after this, teaching himself to not stay up until midnight and attending school and eventually finding a job? Was there a 'reason' in that? An ordinary everyday life where nothing special or adventurous happens, trying to find somewhere to belong again. After all, SEES will disband, and they'll probably scatter; even if they all became friends one day, they were still individual people and people who meet inevitably part, one way or another.

He lets go of the headphones and his hand lands on Minato's over his shoulder.

"Do you think I can?"