[He hears Jaime speak, and he feels him move, but he doesn't see what's coming next until it's there, arms wrapping around him and his body getting tugged forward until it's crushed against the other's. Surprised, he looks up in alarm and all he sees is the side of Jaime's head and his shoulder, black hair nearly poking him in the face.
This is the second time, he finds himself thinking as the initial surprise fades, that someone hugged him since he came here. The thought arrives with a pang as he thinks, yet again, that he doesn't deserve to have this. Jaime is warm and and he feels a burning in the corners of his eyes as he listens to him, as the word happy pierces him and he's so keenly aware of how much he does want this.
He wants to go on that trip. He wants to see this country. He wants to sit in a car with the people he's come to be friends with and he wants to watch Hiro and Tadashi be a family. He wants to see Akihiko and Shinjiro bickering like they always used to. He wants to glance over and find Minato asleep through all the noise. He wants to learn about all the things Jaime told him about. But how could he? After all that he did and all of the pain he caused?]
It's my fault. It's my fault, [he whispers.That Shinjiro is dead. That Akihiko lost him. That Mitsuru did, that Koromaru, and everybody else did. He was the traitor. And yet, Minato said he'd forgiven him. Akihiko still spoke to him. Shinjiro treated with the same awkward kindness he always did that Ken had so stubbornly refused to acknowledge. If only he had opened his eyes sooner. He can't stop himself from starting to shake, sitting there wrapped in Jaime's arms.] I was the one who was supposed to die that night.
he's almost there!!
This is the second time, he finds himself thinking as the initial surprise fades, that someone hugged him since he came here. The thought arrives with a pang as he thinks, yet again, that he doesn't deserve to have this. Jaime is warm and and he feels a burning in the corners of his eyes as he listens to him, as the word happy pierces him and he's so keenly aware of how much he does want this.
He wants to go on that trip. He wants to see this country. He wants to sit in a car with the people he's come to be friends with and he wants to watch Hiro and Tadashi be a family. He wants to see Akihiko and Shinjiro bickering like they always used to. He wants to glance over and find Minato asleep through all the noise. He wants to learn about all the things Jaime told him about. But how could he? After all that he did and all of the pain he caused?]
It's my fault. It's my fault, [he whispers.That Shinjiro is dead. That Akihiko lost him. That Mitsuru did, that Koromaru, and everybody else did. He was the traitor. And yet, Minato said he'd forgiven him. Akihiko still spoke to him. Shinjiro treated with the same awkward kindness he always did that Ken had so stubbornly refused to acknowledge. If only he had opened his eyes sooner. He can't stop himself from starting to shake, sitting there wrapped in Jaime's arms.] I was the one who was supposed to die that night.