[Jaime's really not a big guy -- between Jonathan and Gamagori and the Iron Bull, he definitely knows bigger -- but he has to resist the urge to shrink back when he stands. He isn't afraid of anger, and he isn't afraid of Jaime at all, but he feels absolutely small and as unreasonable as it sounds, it feels like the only solution to that is to make himself even smaller.

He frowns, digging through his memories to find the right answer to that. Things had changed, that was true. But this feeling was an old one, one that's been with him for a long, long time, and it all started when..]

After my mom died, [he starts, quietly, lowering his head and trying to ignore how Jaime's standing over him,] I-- I spent a long time after that wishing I died that night, too. It felt like nothing mattered. Then I found out about the Dark Hour and Shadows, and I thought that would lead me to finding out who killed her. I thought... after I killed the person who did it, I decided that I'll stay alive long enough to take revenge.

[He takes a breath.]

I was supposed to be the one that died last night. Aragaki-san was-- Takaya shot at me. I told him to. But Aragaki-san took the bullet, and I... I don't know why I'm still here, alive.