[ Simon purses his lips as he thinks before answering with a shrug. ]
I truly, truly cannot remember. No matter how much I go over what I've done or have been doing, over my plans... I just don't know how or why I fall back into it. Into gambling.
[ He tries to blink his frustration away, tries to stay calm and composed—as if his earlier behavior wasn't humiliating enough. It's amazing how at least two complete strangers, including this one, have seen Simon at his worst. ]
For example, before I arriving here, I was. Also. Addicted to gambling. This isn't a problem that I'd just developed here, but anyway. I tried everything I could—that I was aware of, at least—to stop, to quit. Nothing seemed to work. Before long, I was in for more money than I'd ever see in a lifetime, indebted to various people... in various ways. So the thing is, I used to be an auctioneer, and this. Fucking painting came in; the head auctioneer wagered it'd go for twenty-five million sterling.
[ He shakes his head here at the obvious, absurd turn of events in his story. ]
I know it sounds ridiculous, an inside job, but I went for it. I looked for some criminals, knew someone who sold drugs, and talked to him... He introduced me to his boss, a man who agreed to clear my debt in exchange for the painting. [ His mouth has gone dry, so he licks his lips before swallowing a lump in his throat. ] I stole the painting. But I didn't keep my end of the bargain, didn't turn it over, because I apparently hid it. And I didn't have any recollection of where it went.
[ Simon takes a deep breath and exhales audibly and is only visibly relived because he's discovered the painting's whereabouts only a couple weeks ago. With the help of a telepath, he found out that he brought someone the painting... Then, he killed her, and left the painting with her corpse. ]
It's not exactly this scenario, but recently I've found myself similarly perplexed. I'll spontaneously find myself gambling, usually online, despite uninstalling apps and blocking sites on my browser. I try to research and plan to get some professional help, and for whatever reason things always fall through.
no subject
I truly, truly cannot remember. No matter how much I go over what I've done or have been doing, over my plans... I just don't know how or why I fall back into it. Into gambling.
[ He tries to blink his frustration away, tries to stay calm and composed—as if his earlier behavior wasn't humiliating enough. It's amazing how at least two complete strangers, including this one, have seen Simon at his worst. ]
For example, before I arriving here, I was. Also. Addicted to gambling. This isn't a problem that I'd just developed here, but anyway. I tried everything I could—that I was aware of, at least—to stop, to quit. Nothing seemed to work. Before long, I was in for more money than I'd ever see in a lifetime, indebted to various people... in various ways. So the thing is, I used to be an auctioneer, and this. Fucking painting came in; the head auctioneer wagered it'd go for twenty-five million sterling.
[ He shakes his head here at the obvious, absurd turn of events in his story. ]
I know it sounds ridiculous, an inside job, but I went for it. I looked for some criminals, knew someone who sold drugs, and talked to him... He introduced me to his boss, a man who agreed to clear my debt in exchange for the painting. [ His mouth has gone dry, so he licks his lips before swallowing a lump in his throat. ] I stole the painting. But I didn't keep my end of the bargain, didn't turn it over, because I apparently hid it. And I didn't have any recollection of where it went.
[ Simon takes a deep breath and exhales audibly and is only visibly relived because he's discovered the painting's whereabouts only a couple weeks ago. With the help of a telepath, he found out that he brought someone the painting... Then, he killed her, and left the painting with her corpse. ]
It's not exactly this scenario, but recently I've found myself similarly perplexed. I'll spontaneously find myself gambling, usually online, despite uninstalling apps and blocking sites on my browser. I try to research and plan to get some professional help, and for whatever reason things always fall through.