maskormenacelogs | softember more like sobtember amirite

[before the month can become quite dire and the beast in De Chima wreaks havoc too great, business as usual in Maurtia Falls finds itself peppered with some beasts of its own! the last lingering vestiges of the cryptid influx finds a few wreaking a bit of havoc here and there in the warehouse district at the far end of the canal.

it's nothing a princess can't handle, especially when she can not only fly, but punch really hard now! she means to do the latter just well enough to subdue the beast instead of outright killing it, but this shambling mothman wants no part of mercy this afternoon. after sounding off another ear-straining scream, it makes another lunge for her -- one she meets halfway with Falchion branded.

she'll make quick work of this.

however, she's not aware of the pair of men taking point from across the street -- the ones who led the monster onward toward town with hopes of fishing for and singling out some choice imPorts. a heavy-hitter like Lucina might be too big a score for them, so maybe that's why the one with the rifle is trying to track her movements by her head through that scope of his...]

Ah-! Oh!!

[the last thing Lucina expects when she yanks her door open is Darin, in the process of knocking, himself. after startling, she takes a step back to catch her breath, nearly overwhelmed by...a lot all at once. she's not looking so hot, in more ways than one.]

Gods...Darin. Hello. I'm sorry. You...you startled me. What're you...doing here?

[It's one of those early fall days where you can feel the chill in the air but it's still weirdly humid. The skies are grey and dour, which likely is contributing to both of their moods, and every so often it starts to rain except it doesn't. A few drops, threatening people with a cold shower, but nothing more.]

[It's like the sky has an unfortunate weight to it.]

[Darin, for the most part, looks confused. Concerned and confused. But he doesn't bring it up.]

We...discussed me coming over today. I was gonna winter proof your place.

We... [she wavers for a moment, then realization brings a grimace to her face as she sighs out.] Oh--right. Forgive me. I'd completely forgotten, since all of the... [mid-thought she's already shifting expressions, trying to perk up as she steps back, gesturing him to enter.]

No, no. This is good. I can help with the work, yes? I was looking for something to do today, so this is perfect. Come in.

O...kay...

[There's clear concern on his face but...well, for once, he doesn't press. Lately, he's felt like there's more bothering Lucina than she lets on but, whether it be out of pride, stubbornness, or something more, she hasn't seemed too keen on talking to him about it.]

[A lot of people seemed to be avoiding him lately. He can't help but wonder if maybe he did something. Maybe he changed too much in his time away. Or maybe they were upset with him for being ported out in the first place? He couldn't figure it out and he was afraid to pry.]

[He makes his way in and looks around. This was the first time he was ever in Lucina's place.]

Ah...thanks. Anyway, I guess the first order of business is to check the windows for any kind of a draft...

[it's not too shabby, is it? definitely not a new place, but quaint enough with the furnishings she chose -- garish as always. and, yeah, she...probably should've picked up some of her clothes and belongings laying around, and maybe the takeout on the coffee table needs to get pitched, but it's not like the floor is littered with rubbish!

she hastens ahead of him to snag at a stray water bottle in his path, red-faced, and keeps going on into the kitchen.]

Very well. There's only a few. I can see to that. I can--oh-- [she blinks, just as she's setting the bottle down, another fast thought hitting her.] I can...get you something to drink, too? If you like?

...You don't have to worry about cleaning up, you know. I lived with a guy who kept rescuing farm animals for a few months. Nothing but goats all the time. I've definitely seen worse.

I'm fine. I'll show you what to look for if you just...point me to the nearest window.

[Does this feel awkward to you?]

[oppressively so. and gods, she doesn't know what to do about it! if she can't even maintain some bit of order in her own, tiny living space, what more can she do outside? she's already let Luke down, and that's way, way bigger than some loose floorboards or dirty gutters.

it's after her feeble pointing toward the windows behind the sofa and his back is to her that Lucina's expression starts to crack, and it's all she can do to scramble to get it back together. she turns and goes to yank open the window above the stove open, wincing at the slight splintering her too-forceful pull causes on the wood housing it.]

Gods...! [she lets go, backing away and bringing a hand to her forehead, trying to push a breath, a laugh, something out.] Well...well, that's probably an obvious one...

[Darin winces when he hears the crack. He's definitely done that before. More often than he cares to admit.]

If...you're not up to it, we could always reschedule, you know. I could just...leave you alone.

[He lets the offer slip before he realizes it. That he no doubt just made her feel worse by calling attention to the way she's acting and, knowing her, she's going to blame herself for making him want to leave.]

I-I mean, there's no rush! We've got a few months and maybe I can help you clean up instead...?

[It's a weak recovery and he knows it. He sincerely doubts she'd want him lumbering around picking up whatever she's left lying about.]

I-I'm sorry. No, that--

[she keeps herself facing the window, dragging her hands through her hair, holding it up and away from her neck for a beat before letting it go after she gulps, exhales, and lets her hands fall to her sides.]

...I'm sorry. I'm trying very much to...keep ahead of myself here. But that just means I'm tripping over things I can't see.

[she huffs again, leaning forward with her hands on the stove (it's turned off it's fine), shoulders slouched a bit as her head bows.]

This is why...Ash doesn't want me doing my shifts right now. I can't even blame her, but...if I don't do something...

[Okay, whatever this was? This was a lot. Especially for Lucina. She's tamping whatever's going on down like she's a powder keg, striking that powder with an iron rod.]

[All it takes is a spark.]

[Darin makes his way to the kitchen and stops in the doorway.]

...Lucina...

[What does he say here?]

...L...Look I...

Maybe I'm not the one you want to talk to right now...but...

If something's wrong...if there's anything I can do...even if it's getting the person you do want to talk to...

Just...y'know...name it. I'll do it. Whatever you need...

[it hurts to hear how faltering Darin sounds, because he's so often been such a sturdy, confident presence. until he's not -- until the Porter yanks him away again. or worse, another disaster, another calamity that everyone can't weather altogether.

this is exactly not the sort of thinking to entertain and she knows it, yet she can't help but feel dread weighting her stomach anew and causing her throat to hurt all the more. if this were a ceaseless onslaught to weather, maybe it'd be easier to shut her brain off and just keep marching forward, but these lulls, these time-outs...all these moments to actually feel things as they come? they're dreadful. dread-full.

and they definitely help no one. not when there's already so much going on. Bodhi, Archie, all those civilians lost...Luke.]

I. I don't know. [she hates how feeble she sounds. with a bracing breath, she turns around, keeping herself upright by still hanging onto the stove as she stares back over at him, her expression strained.]

I'm sorry. Darin, I...I don't know. With everything that's...that keeps happening, I-- I don't know. There isn't any time for--for anything, but if I keep...running it's only...it's worse, isn't it? It's why I'm here, and not...out there. Helping. It's why I couldn't save Luke!

I don't know what to do at all...

Luke...?

What happened to Luke?

[Darin knows the last few months have been...well...bad. And it's not like he ignores things. But even he gets swept up in events that leave him floundering when it comes to those around him.]

He's dead.

[she looks down, slumping a little more.]

I'm sorry. I, I wasn't there in time, even though I saw... And by the time I got him away from that. Wretched. Thing! He...he was already...

[that sight was bad enough, but the brokenness in Bodhi's voice was what still haunted her. she can hear it as if he were plainly right there in the kitchen. sure, it's barely been a day or two since, but...]

And...and everyone was...already back together finally and...

Lucina...

[He sighs and makes his way over to her, hoping to usher her into the living room where she can sit comfortably on the couch.]

Come on...you need to sit down...

[it's a smooth transition for all of three steps before Lucina's grabbing at Darin's shirt while her last step digs in to a stop.]

Darin. Darin, are we...are imPorts killing this place? Are we really...not supposed to ever be here? At all? Is that why...?

[The question takes Darin by surprised entirely.]

Are...Are we...?

What?

Lucina, where would you get an idea like that?

Are we? [her expression strains again, wavering a bit.] All these...calamities. People trying to eradicate us, or...all the things appearing, infesting, killing... Is it really because of us? [her eyes well up as her voice breaks.] How are we supposed to fight that?

[Darin's expression grows stern. Someone was feeding these thoughts to Lucina. Someone she trusted. She'd never questioned herself so...so harshly before.]

[He reaches up and places a hand on her shoulder and lowers himself so he can look her evenly in the eyes instead of looking down at her.]

...Lucina, we aren't the ones bringing these things in with us. None of us have that power to...to warp reality, to bring in the bad things from our worlds. The Porter is the one who brings us here, whether we like it or not. And the Porter is the one who controls what comes in and out of here. But people aren't going to blame the Porter because the Porter doesn't have a face to place a problem to. We do.

As for fighting it? We fight it by being what the world needs as opposed to what the world wants. Sometimes the world needs a brave warrior. Sometimes the world just needs a welcome face and a shoulder to cry on.

Saying we're all 'heroes' is...it's self-righteous. We aren't all heroes. We're all just trying to do our best and help as many people as we can along the way. We aren't gods. We won't always succeed.

[Lucina finds she can't keep eye contact, her head dipping and letting stray tears spill unchecked while she all but gives up on trying to save face.

we won't always succeed. how many more times is she going to get beat down and forced to get back up? this isn't like war -- nonstop, blades to the throat, immediate act-and-react. these simmering blow burns and bubbles of panic and violence are a different beast entirely. she's never trained for the lulls, and it's getting to her in a bad way.

she brings a hand to her face, pressing her palm against her eye as her fingers curl into her bangs.]

Y-you're right. I'm sorry. I should know better, I'm just--

Hey.

[Darin reaches up with his other hand and pulls her hand away from her face.]

No more apologies. Lucina, you're allowed to feel overcome. You're allowed to feel...lost and confused or helpless. It happens. It happens to everyone, even me.

Look at me.

[His hand moves from her shoulder to her face, gently cupping her cheek with a level of care one might be surprised him capable of with such big, calloused hands.]

Bad things happen. If they didn't there'd be no need for heroes. But sometimes, even heroes need someone...

[Lucina pulls her hand away from her branded eye, still looking bereft. the emotional toll even just standing there takes is so much more than she seems fit to carry, and so more's the shame. gods, what would her parents think...

(they'd think much the same as Darin, but never let the truth get in the way of a good, self-admonishing story).]

I, I don't know what to do. After this...

That's fine...

When you don't know what to do, the best thing to do is to rest.

[A beat.]

...How long have you been feeling like this...?

[she shakes her head, making to move away, only to linger, keeping a hand up on Darin's arm to keep upright. maybe it's just because he said rest that energy seems to have been sapped right out of her, but...]

It's...not something to think on for so long. Especially not when things have been so busy all summer. I just... [her eyes wince, recalling the resentment in Fortunato's expression.] ...forget to keep it in check. Put it away.

These aren't things you're supposed to 'put away,' Lucina.

[Something about how she's pushing away a chance to let all of this out, pushing him away in some...misguided show of strength and pride makes his words have a little more edge than he intends.]

You aren't some indestructible vault, Lucina. You're a person. A young woman who does more than her fair share of fighting and now, without a war to fight, you're fighting yourself. You need to stop! This needs to stop!

softember more like sobtember amirite

closed to bodhi

closed to darin

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