[ Because even after all the anger and all the grief of the past three years, Apollo feels sorry for his husband. The man he once thought he knew is completely lost to him now, and Apollo knows he needs to take some responsibility for whatever it is that pushed him away.
And with M curled up close against his chest it's an automatic reaction for Apollo to wrap him up in his arms, to turn towards him and hold him close, to seek out that skin on skin contact. With the space in his heart that Midnighter used to own now empty, it's all to easy to want M to take that place. He closes his eyes, pressing a heartfelt kiss of something - forgiveness, reassurance, pleading - against M's hair. It feels right, on all levels except the one where he thinks too closely about Andrew. The other other half. But Apollo's shamefully hungry for M's affection, greedy and guilty in equal parts. All he wants is this, the smell and warmth and weight of Midnighter pressed against him, without the burden of another Apollo's furious, fiery judgment bearing down upon them. ]
I think we both need this, [ He murmurs quietly after a moment, his words muffled by M's hair. What he really means is, I think I need you. ]
no subject
[ Because even after all the anger and all the grief of the past three years, Apollo feels sorry for his husband. The man he once thought he knew is completely lost to him now, and Apollo knows he needs to take some responsibility for whatever it is that pushed him away.
And with M curled up close against his chest it's an automatic reaction for Apollo to wrap him up in his arms, to turn towards him and hold him close, to seek out that skin on skin contact. With the space in his heart that Midnighter used to own now empty, it's all to easy to want M to take that place. He closes his eyes, pressing a heartfelt kiss of something - forgiveness, reassurance, pleading - against M's hair. It feels right, on all levels except the one where he thinks too closely about Andrew. The other other half. But Apollo's shamefully hungry for M's affection, greedy and guilty in equal parts. All he wants is this, the smell and warmth and weight of Midnighter pressed against him, without the burden of another Apollo's furious, fiery judgment bearing down upon them. ]
I think we both need this, [ He murmurs quietly after a moment, his words muffled by M's hair. What he really means is, I think I need you. ]