maskormenacelogs | [Open] Given and Denied

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[Open] Given and Denied

WHO: Castiel & You
WHERE: Churches in Heropa - inside, wandering the grounds, standing on the roof, or small shops just outside of church grounds
WHEN: August 7
WHAT: Trying to deal with his crisis of faith, Castiel is regularly hanging around a church or two for contemplation, observing humans and occasionally asking them uncomfortable questions.
WARNINGS: talk of religion / lack of faith and all that potentially comes with him being an angel

It's warm, but that's nothing altogether new. Castiel has followed Gabriel's advice and started seeking out churches in Heropa, to contemplate and observe humanity. It does nothing for his own faith (or lack therefore), really, although he finds he gains a little more fondness for the human race when he overhears the whispered prayers of young children, old widows, mothers and fathers, young lovers.

There's no one to hear them but Castiel, and he's proven himself not the best representation for Heaven, altogether.

He doesn't visit the churches every day of course, but tries to make time for it occasionally. There's some peace to it, even though he knows that God has left and refused to help when most needed. He doesn't care. But he understands now why the producer of the show Castiel inexplicably still finds himself partaking in nearly fired him after trying to spread the cold, harsh truth.

Castiel is starting to learn how to lie for comfort, and while he's not sure how he feels about that, he is beginning to understand the reason behind it a little better.

On this particular day, he can be found around various churches all through the day. Sometimes he sits in the pews and takes in the building itself, sometimes he stands on the roof and observes the sky, sometimes he wanders the grounds, and sometimes he just sits on benches or finds himself puzzled by selections of treats and drinks offered in small shops close by.

Whenever he notices another imPort in the close vicinity, he regards them with slightly narrowed eyes, as if trying to solve a puzzle. And if they don't speak first, he asks, because why say hello: "Do you have faith in something?" or "Do you think someone listens?" or "What is a slushie, and what kind of flavor is 'blue'?"

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[ Satan has five different forms, and though only one is his true self, he usually walks around as Ryo Asuka (out of habit, because Ryo is much more than just a fake personality, and other emotional reasons - let's not get into that). Ryo is a sixteen years old blond boy who doesn't look (and isn't) very friendly, and recently he has been walking around Heropa, Cape Caneveral and nearby cities trying to find some indication of God, Heaven and Hell in this world.

Nothing has been very helpful so far, but churches might help. He won't enter them - hell nah - but he will wander around and it's during one of those strolls in Heropa that he spots Castiel, recognizing him as the "fucking angel" whom he spoken to as "Jun Fudou". He hides only for a second, to think things through and to eventually take the form of the woman Castiel would recognize. Well, maybe the angel found something; as a Fallen Angel, Satan might have a harder time trying to find God, but maybe Castiel is better at that than him.

The brunette woman finally heads towards Castiel, with a friendly (and very nice and gentle!) smile. ]

You know, I never got your name. [ she stops in front of the angel. ] Hello.

Mike has grown used to spotting other imPorts standing on the roof. (Roof space could probably count as a commodity if necessary.) Though this time it surprises him when he's spoken to first.

"I haven't had faith in a long time."

It's more than he usually shares but it's not really a personal question. Not to Mike. He looks down at his left hand where his cybernetic enhancement remains hidden under his trench coat. What aren't hidden are the healed burn scars on the right side of his face and the metallic right foot that belies the presence of another enhancement on his whole leg.

Sam had been at one of the nearby churches, mostly checking things out. Just in case there's ever a need for holy water, since he can't be certain that the way he knows would cut it.

Of course, asking one of the three angels he knows of in the area to do it for him would probably be easier than trying to steal it from a church, honestly, but he was used to having to do things on his own with only Dean for back up.

When he saw one of those angels in a convenience store near the church he'd just been in, Sam headed in as well. He grinned at the question, just barely keeping himself from laughing. "A slushie is an...iced drink, basically. Usually with some sugary syrup as the base. The paddles that are turning it keep the mixture from freezing solid."

A dog would not be found in a church and there was little enough cause to go out onto the grounds of one, it being preferable to avoid any kind of groundskeeper that may take offense to a leashless animal tromping around the lawn. If it weren't for something unusual on the roof, Ace would have passed on by like usual. However, as it was, Wise Dogs were obligated to keep their eyes peeled for unusual things. Lone men standing on top of a church tended to count. So, it was time to leave the sidewalk and chance crossing the grounds to stand more or less under where Castiel had his perch on the rooftop.

"Excuse me!" He called up after a moment of hesitation. He would just have to hope the guy wouldn't startle enough to, say, fall. "Excuse me, sir, but are you all right up there?"

[ About that 'fallen' deal... This might be a good moment for Satan to know that Castiel is a rebel, an outcast, fallen in his own right and not yet reinstated back home. If only someone would tell him.

When she approaches him, Castiel narrows his eyes at her. There's something suspicious in his gaze, but it's not caused by Jun. He's trying to read her - recognizing her for the woman with the demonic taint she confessed to herself, this is as good a chance as any to try the limits of his severely clipped powers.

But to no avail. He can't feel anything demonic on her - just recognizes her, clearly, as not human. Not that he can complain too much - back home, he'd lost nearly all of his Grace in his slow, unpleasant fall. ]

Castiel. [ He inclines his head slightly in greeting, shifts on his feet. Normal human interaction? Not something he's very apt at. ] Hello.

It seems to be a common denominator in people who've been faced with great trials and greater pain, people who haven't escaped their emotional, personal or large-scale wars unscathed.

Castiel observes Mike for a moment. Just going by his expression, one could assume he's not even seeing the burn scars or the metallic foot, although the sweep of his eyes makes it obvious he takes it all in. Unlike most people, though, there's no payoff, no emotional reaction to what he observes, negative or otherwise. He tilts his head a little, letting the words sink in. Wonders how many humans like Mike or Dean are out there, disillusioned by what they've been through, what they've seen, and the silence that has always and will always answer the silent, pleading cries for help.

Castiel has attempted to answer Dean and Sam's prayers in what little way he could, once he realized Heaven's corruption and lack of care. He's a poor example of an angel in many ways.

"I used to consider lack of faith a problem in need of fixing," he admits, thinking back to times when he was still loyal to his own kind, and a father who as it turns out, has not cared to listen for a long time.

Castiel keeps observing the paddles for a while, still as he watches the blue... drink, as humans deem it, slush around - hence the name? As likely an explanation as any. But his companion is Sam, who likely knows that Castiel isn't ignoring him so much as letting his words sink in, mulling them over. Sometimes, his mind works differently than a human's would. Sometimes, being ancient and different shines through clearly.

After a full minute, Castiel turns his head to look at Sam with an expression as if he's tempted to blame the younger Winchester for all of humanity's profound strangeness, as if he's asking the most baffled, perplexed, and slightly disgusted 'Why'.

That gaze lasts several uncomfortable moments, too. Finally, Castiel nods.

Slushies.

"I will try one."

And with that he reaches into his coat pocket, pulls out a few crumpled bills, and looks at Sam with an expectant expression. It's his treat, if Sam cares to join him on this particular adventure.

As an angel older than life on earth, Castiel has observed the creation of the first life forms as well as their evolution over the years. he's seen humanity evolve from apes (and invent pants, thankfully), he's seen dinosaurs die and mammals rise, he's seen animals die out and persevere.

Unless he's missed something, he doesn't think dogs have evolved to human speech, nor were they meant to.

It's interesting enough to make him leave the roof. This happens in the following way: One moment he's frowning at Ace, the next moment there's the faint sound of flapping wings and Castiel vanishes, only to reappear right next to Ace within the blink of an eye.

Angels only fall in different manners of speaking.

"You can talk."

Which is a very obvious kind of statement, and additionally not an answer to Ace's question, of course. But it's what Castiel is going with, instead of something as normal as, say, a greeting, or proper response.

[ hey. if God didn't kick him out, Satan won't see Castiel as a fallen Angel. Sorry, bro. You need God's wrath and all to be part of the club, in Satan's eyes. ~~it's not a good club anyway~~

Jun doesn't seem to mind the way castiel eyes her, and the woman looks rather relaxed even. Hands behind her back, Jun tilts her head and offers the angel a smile ]

Castiel. That's a nice name. [ after, the dark eyes look around ] You know, I always wondered if Chruches really were the House of God as they say, or if it's just wishful thinking.

[ That's where they'd circle back to the whole fact that God, in Castiel's world, is no longer in charge of Heaven due to an indefinite leave of absence - also known as 'oh shit, I don't even know, I'm out'.

Castiel follows her gaze, observes the church. ]

Anything and anywhere can be a House of God. Building specific places to gather and pray in community seems to be more of a human desire.

[ Castiel thinks. Satan would argue God left only to watch everything burn and would return when the show was over. Yeah. Satan's Father is not a nice God.

She glances back at the building for a second, before her eyes fall on castiel once more ]

Are you looking for Him here?

Teleportation wasn't an entirely foreign concept to Ace, but he can't claim to have witnessed it before. Heard about it, sure. Seeing it was different. It spooks him enough that he ends up jumping away from Castiel when he reappears so suddenly. The landing from the jump turns into the dog carrying on to half-circle around him warily, but that doesn't last.

The man from the roof may have been startling, but there wasn't any apparent threat.

"And... you move very, very fast," Ace counters with that instead of an explanation of the whole talking thing. It gets old starting every conversation with that. "I guess you are all right after all."

"I am."

Castiel doesn't seem to think he might have been something else entirely. He keeps his eyes on the dog as it does its half-circle around him - and also deems it no apparent threat, for now.

"Are you a dog with a voice, or some version of a shapeshifter?"

With his powers clipped as they are, he can't identify non-humans beyond... well, identifying them as non-human. So really, he has no way of telling on his own, which he considers frustrating.

[ Oh, Castiel's faith is broken enough for now that he wouldn't even put that past Him. ]

No. I've decided my time is better spent on other pursuits.

[ He doesn't think he could bear the crushing disappointment a second time. ]

No way around answering it in the end, it seems. Ace can't help but wrinkle his nose at the implication of being a shapeshifter, but there's no need to comment on that part.

"I'm only a dog. This place gave me my voice."

Although even without the talking part, only didn't even come close to claiming normality. That, too, needed no comment.

[ oh castiel, it'd be a delight to bring you to the dark side. ]

Other pursuits? In a church? [ color her curious ] Like what?

Mike takes a step to stand near the edge of the roof, casually looking down on the streets as he listens.

"Used to. What changed?" That is the question of the day isn't it. Mike has lost his job due to a back injury. After that his wife left him and his son. And after that... well, the burn scars and the metal enhancements tells a whole other tragic tale.

Observing humanity. I'm finding their blind faith equally baffling and soothing.

[ He almost misses the simpler times of blind obedience. But those times would have led to humanity's destruction... ]

And Castiel just nods, as if he understands perfectly. As if the information he's just received makes perfect sense and leaves no room for questions at all.

A talking dog is, after all, hardly among the strangest things he's seen, and he's not one to dismiss animals' intelligence in general. Bees are surprisingly fascinating...

"A useful power to have, no doubt. Though I find speaking in their tongue doesn't always facilitate easier communication with humans."

"I found a good reason to lose mine."

Cryptic? Possibly so. But Castiel isn't exactly known for offering many explanations unless prompted.

For now, he steps closer to the edge himself and gazes down as well, as though following Mike's gaze, and as though something of interest is there.

"They think someone is listening," Castiel observes of the humans wandering into the church. "But no one is."

"You sound sure." Mike prompts. He's curious since Castiel did start the conversation asking about faith.

[ Or just incredibly dumb. yeah, dumb sounds about right ]

You have a rather positive look on that.

Considering what I have lived so far, I can't say it's a trait I'm a fan of.

That's a nice change of pace, the lack of fifty follow-up questions about how it is to be a talking dog. The lack of freak out beforehand, too, is something worth appreciating. On top of all that, it seems they also agree on something else.

"Tell me about it. I'm not sure humans even understand themselves most of the time," Ace says, an ear flicking back as he considers speaking to humans in general. "No offense meant, of course."

Since this guy looks very human, in his opinion.

If Sam understood 'why', he'd have a much better handle on...pretty much everything.

As it is, Sam nods to Castiel. "Sure, I'll have one. I think I'll stick with the Coke one, though." It's not that he has anything against blue foods. But it's more interesting when you're a kid and want to dye your tongue different colors. "You might want to go with a small one, since you don't know if you'll like it. It's not worth wasting the money."

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[Open] Given and Denied

let's pretend i'm not on hiatus

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MIIIIKE oh god I love him, allow me a moment to squee

Forever THAT face, man.

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aaa thanks :3

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