[Oh, well, this sounds juicy. Alfie inches his pizza a little to the side so that he can lean forward, elbows on the table.]

And just what caused this split? Imagine, right, that I haven't been following you closely, and may not have been exposed to the worst of this incompetence.

[Which probably isn't hard to imagine, given how little information is available to outsiders - even outsiders like Alfie.]