[ Even then, Ruka lost everything? Jaime had thought - hoped - that her life in the City had some joys in it, that her current bitterness is because of losing everything in the City, not everything that came before that. To feel that way at the age of fourteen...
It's not unheard of. Not in the least. Jaime's seen it, again and again. But even now, he wishes that it hadn't been an experience Ruka had gone through, simply piling on misery after misery that seems to be her life.
He stares down at his lap and then, absently, puts one hand on his own shoulder, creeping towards his spine. Khaji flashes and pulses, as though to greet him or to reassure him. Jaime's not sure which one it is. ]
He was right. It shouldn't have been you.
[ Jaime would have never wanted that out of a child. Slowly, as though trying to measure his words, he says, ] I know that that version of me and this one - we're not the same person. You don't need me to tell you that. But I think we were similar enough to know what had to be done. I've... had talks, with people. Contingency plans. They know that they need to kill me if I ever lose control, if I'm ever a danger to anyone else.
[ He'd had that first conversation four years ago. It had been a terrible thing to put on these people, to put on people who ostensibly love him, but he demanded it of them anyway. The cost was too great.
But he would have never put it on Gon, or Killua, or Ken, or even Tara. That means his previous self would have never put it on Ruka either. ]
Why was it you? Why didn't anyone else step up to the plate?
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It's not unheard of. Not in the least. Jaime's seen it, again and again. But even now, he wishes that it hadn't been an experience Ruka had gone through, simply piling on misery after misery that seems to be her life.
He stares down at his lap and then, absently, puts one hand on his own shoulder, creeping towards his spine. Khaji flashes and pulses, as though to greet him or to reassure him. Jaime's not sure which one it is. ]
He was right. It shouldn't have been you.
[ Jaime would have never wanted that out of a child. Slowly, as though trying to measure his words, he says, ] I know that that version of me and this one - we're not the same person. You don't need me to tell you that. But I think we were similar enough to know what had to be done. I've... had talks, with people. Contingency plans. They know that they need to kill me if I ever lose control, if I'm ever a danger to anyone else.
[ He'd had that first conversation four years ago. It had been a terrible thing to put on these people, to put on people who ostensibly love him, but he demanded it of them anyway. The cost was too great.
But he would have never put it on Gon, or Killua, or Ken, or even Tara. That means his previous self would have never put it on Ruka either. ]
Why was it you? Why didn't anyone else step up to the plate?