→ ( CLOSED - have you heard me on the radio, did you turn it up? )

[aberth]

WHO: Adam Parrish & Gansey.
WHERE: De Chima, Virginia.
WHEN: 08.12
WHAT: Teenage boys having a lot of awkward emotions.
WARNINGS: Emotional constipation.

[ It's barely been two days since Gansey got injured and yet Adam's conclusion came about pretty quickly. It was probably even settled before he'd made it half way to the hospital, but he hadn't had the words for it just then. It's taken him much longer than it should to find them. Adam doesn't like admitting he's wrong. He doesn't like admitting he made a mistake.

He doesn't like acknowledging that his pride got in the way.

It's something he has to do now though. After pacing his room for a nervous half hour he makes his way next door, knocking lightly and then entering. He holds out his fist in greeting and then flops down on to the futon. For a moment he takes his time to arrange his long limbs and then he looks up, a tiny worried frown on his brow. ]

How you feeling?

Comments

[quaerit]

[ Gansey's door is never closed. It's only ever pushed over, and at any given time, there'll be a gap that can be seen through. At home, in Monmouth Manufacturing, Gansey's bedroom is in the living room. It doesn't even have a door, and that's what he's used to. Shutting himself away from his friends seems unnatural to him, even though he always knocks on their doors.

So it is that when Adam knocks on his door, he doesn't even answer. He looks up, fully expecting to see whoever it is inviting themselves immediately into his room. That the person does exactly that is, therefore, no surprise. That it's Adam is more of one. Things haven't been good between them, not since they talked about the Barns. Adam had come to find him in hospital, but that had been a rather extraordinary circumstance. He hadn't allowed himself to believe it meant everything was all right with them. ]

Adam.

[ He's stood at the window, lighting three of the oil wicks in the Menorah. He pauses mid-movement, eyes on the other boy. Gansey looks a great deal better than he did in hospital. The yellow tinge to his skin is gone, and the swelling on his eye is down. The bruising is worse than ever, but in fairness, that's because it's healing. He's also wearing his glasses again. His left arm is in both cast and sling. He sets the wick down and steps back, moving to the bed. ]

I'm better than I was. I'm still seeing things, if that's what you mean.

[ His powers still haven't returned. Second Sight is an ability that has always fascinated Gansey. Now that he's no longer in danger, there's a certain thrill that comes from looking in mirrors, and seeing something new.

What he misses is his own powers. He hadn't realised quite how much he had started to rely on them. ]

[aberth]

[ Adam eyes the Menorah curiously.

He thinks he knows where it has come from. Billy has been leaving them all gifts through Hanukkah. Adam's still not sure how to deal with that. He's had to accept them though, mostly because he's trying a little harder not to be a dick. The way Gansey looked at him the minute he saw him has backed up that feeling. Adam had hurt him. ]

Yours will come back. They're not going to let something like that stick. Someone'll figure it out. [ He has to believe that in a world full of actual superheroes they'll be a way. ]

I wanted to talk to you. Is that okay? [ He tears his glance away from where Gansey's eye is bruised and awful looking and starts fiddling with his hands in his lap. ]

[quaerit]

[ Gansey isn't Jewish. His family are Christian, in theory, though they don't attend Church with anything like the regularity of Ronan Lynch. As such, he has never been responsible for lighting a Menorah before. This year it's out of respect, for Billy's friendship. He hasn't decided how he will repay the gifts yet, but he's going to.

For now, he puts that out of his mind. Adam's question strikes him as intolerably polite. When Gansey is polite, it feeds strength to his voice. Adam is the opposite. Politeness seems to take something from him.

Which is strange, in this situation. Gansey had thought he was angry with him.

He nods, and settles back on the bed. Thanks to one arm remaining useless, it's a little awkward, but his expression is clear enough. ]

Of course. You don't need to ask.

Has something happened?

[aberth]

No. Everything's fine.

[ It's a lie, but only a small one, Adam doesn't feel fine. Fitfully he folds his hands together and looks up. There's a look of concentration on his face and a stubbornness in his blue eyes. ]

I've just been thinking. [ Brooding, ruminating, fucking with the forest because he couldn't get his his thoughts in order. He kept wanting to come and talk it over with Gansey and then realised he couldn't because that was the problem. ] I'm going to move in. To the Barns.

[ It comes out in a rush and then Adam's shoulders drop like it had been tightening him up with stress. ] This place isn't safe. We shouldn't split up. And I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened and I couldn't get to you guys. So I'll help Ronan get the power he needs and I'll come with you.

[quaerit]

[ Gansey is not expecting them to talk about the fight. That is a thing they do not do. Fights are never really resolved, among them. They just wait until the fire has gone out of it and they have a way of living with each other's differences again.

That being the case, this is the last thing Gansey expects Adam to bring up, much less change his mind about. He goes entirely still, a concentrated frown forming on his face.

Did he actually hear that right?

It's exactly what he'd wanted to hear a few days ago. Now, he looks down at his arm, wallowing in its cast. He looks at the weakness it represents, and for a moment, he closes his eyes.

He can't do that. He can't take advantage of Adam like this. ]

This is because of what happened to me.

[ He makes himself look up. His expression is complicated, not quite controlled. ]

Adam, I don't want this to be the reason. I don't want you to come because you think you have to. I feel awful enough about what happened, I don't want it to force your hand as well.

[aberth]

[ Adam watches him like Gansey is a puzzle he needs to work out. ]

No. Well, yeah it kind of is. But not because of how you think. [ He shakes his head as if to clear the clamouring thoughts. ] I wasn't there. And you got hurt and that fucking sucks. But it was knowing that this thing had happened and I wasn't part of it, that I can't help you figure it out and work through it because I was being too wrapped up in my own head.

[ He flexes his fingers out, trying to relieve some of the tension in his hands. ] We're in this together. That's the point. The Porter can't have chosen us all at random and we just happened to know each other. There's a reason we're going to get through this thing together, because that's what we do, right? Me staying here - it's just a stupid idea.

[ He runs a hand through his hair and tightens his grip there. Then his voice gets a little bit more unsure, a little quieter. ] And I really don't want to be on my own. There's that.

[quaerit]

[ Gansey listens to all of this, his expression careful and controlled throughout. Only at the very end does it lose that tension, and show something more gentle beneath. He takes a breath, and then slides off the bed to find a spot beside Adam on the futon. ]

I don't want that, either. And you know I don't believe in coincidences. I want us all together, and not just for the sake of us all being together.

[ But partly because of that. Adam had once accused Gansey of wanting all of his people under one roof. That had been a crude way of saying it, but it had not entirely been wrong. ]

We're in a strange world with dangers we can't anticipate, and the only people we can be sure of relying on are ourselves. I want you to come. I just don't want you to come and be unhappy.

I know that didn't work out well, before.

[aberth]

I haven't been unhappy here. [ It seems like it takes something out of him, just simply admitting that he's been enjoying the time he's had sharing an apartment with his friends. ] It's just -- it's still hard, sometimes.

[ All his ties have been severed. His parents cannot find him here. They can't see the way he is and throw sharp words in his direction. Nobody looks at him here and sees a boy leeching off of his friends. ]

But it makes sense. And I don't want us to split up. As long as Lynch is okay with it all then I am too. It might even be a good idea to get out from under Big Brother.

[quaerit]

We are in this together, Adam. Sometimes I think that's the hard thing for you.

[ Being part of the group, generally. Adam Parrish, army of one. Adam seems to think nothing counts for anything if he can't do it by himself.

He doesn't see that even the people he admires still get help from somewhere. ]

I don't want to just take you there, I want you to help. This...it's not charity. I got the bank to give us a mortgage, it isn't for free. We'll have bills to pay there that we don't here.

[ Because government housing is rent free. ]

I thought you'd like that better, honestly.

[aberth]

[ It's easy to see when Adam's perception shifts.

Because from one minute to the next it becomes less about offering poor, downtrodden Adam Parrish a place to stay into a mutual venture much like this place had been. But one where they have better control. He gets to help build it, shape it. And they all have to put the effort in. His face is calculating but his eyes are still gently careful as he nods. ]

We can set up a budget so that everyone's putting an equal amount in. [ His mind starts racing, options opening up. ]

[quaerit]

[ It's safe to say Gansey hasn't really thought about the detail of that. Talking people into giving him the deal he wants? Yes, absolutely, even without the added help of Charmspeak. Day to day budgeting? Not so much, in no small part because he's never had to do it before.

Still, he nods. This is the side of it that he'd always known would appeal to Adam. ]

That's why I hoped you'd be all right with it. [ And then Adam hadn't been, and he'd been flooded with unhappiness about it ever since. He hates fighting with this boy. ]

I've never wanted to leave you behind. I would have, if you'd insisted. But I wouldn't have wanted to. I want this to be all of ours, for as long as we're here.