maskormenacelogs | when can i see you again?

[Maya was dead.

Maya was dead.

The phrase kept repeating itself as Kaneda walked through Heropa, looking for her house as he left the site of the fires and the attacks. He'd only been in Heropa to visit Minato and Ken, stopping on the way because of what happened. It was there that he saw Maya held in the arms of someone else, shot in the heart and lying motionless. He tried to get them to say what had happened to her, but answers fell on deaf ears as they took her. And with Manolo to attend to and Bull in a critical state, he had to take care of that first.

But now he didn't. He knew where Maya lived, and that would be the place they'd take her. Rick said death wasn't permanent, but at the same time, it sure as hell FELT like it.

His feet stamp on the sidewalk as he rounds the corner to get to her house, repeating that phrase as he slings his coat over his shoulder.

Maya was dead.

It was just like Yamagata, by the time he got there he'd already been gone. His feet race up the steps to her house, and after strongarming his way in not unlike Edgeworth had done to his house, he makes his way into the room to see her, stopping by the doorframe. He didn't expect her to be awake just yet. Hell, it's surprising to expect her awake at ALL. But there she is, huddled up in her blankets on her bed with some food off to the side. A dim light of what had always been a beacon before.

It was the hardest thing to look at right now, and Kaneda had seen some of the worst.]

The hell were you thinking...

[It was softly spoken, and his insult had no bite to it as he pulls that jacket off his shoulder, stepping into the room. There's something about his stride--it lacked any of the boundless confidence it usually had, and you could tell the weight of everything was just sagging down on him at that moment. His shoulders hunched, his hair swept over his eyes in some areas, and the glitter in his pupils was gone. Kaneda was always one who kept going, but that didn't mean it was the easiest thing to do.

He passes by her, without even looking at her as his hand grips the chair in the corner of the room, spinning it around to collapse into, arms draped over the back.It isn't until then that his lungs finally exhale a short series of staggering breaths.

Death isn't permanent. That's what they told him, and that's what he was seeing.

But-

That doesn't mean jack shit when it's someone close to you.]

Edited 2015-12-09 05:03 (UTC)

[After Edgeworth's reaction, it's true that Maya wasn't really sure what to expect out of anyone else, but she certainly isn't expecting him to enter-- like that. She watches him sit down, turning in place to face him, sitting cross-legged on the bed.]

Hey, Kaneda...

[It's tough, knowing there's no room for a humorous comment to turn this around. Not yet, anyway. But she's not sure what else to do, aside from just trying to get him to talk it out.

A lot of stuff happened to him. Back home. Here. He's probably like me. We don't know what to do, but we don't want to not do anything so we run around blindly.

She remembers what Ken told her.

well, I know that he'll take strength from you being there for him. I know that.

[...] He's had it rough.

And she remembers the look on Phoenix's face when she'd come back from the flames in Labyrinthia, remembered how worried she'd been the entire time about how he was alone. About how she needed to be there for him, and wasn't. Man, maybe Tex and Edgeworth were all right. Even if they are, there's nothing she can do about it now, and so instead she lowers her head and continues--]

I'm sorry.

[Kaneda's shoulders tense when she speaks, his eyes flicking up to look at her. There's something about them, they're not full of mirth like they usually were. He suddenly seems a lot older, more mature. The leader side of him probably coming out as he tries to think of what to say.

What WAS there to day? She died.

His hand grips the edge of the chair, resting his chin on it as he turns to look at the wall.

He was ALWAYS good with words. Why are they failing him now?]

What happened?

[He'll let you tell your story, at least.

One chance.]

[Rationally, she should probably try not to sound defensive in this situation. But Maya Fey is not really a terribly rational person.]

I-- Edgeworth and I went down there to help, since there was a fire, and... There was this flash of light. Our powers got switched, and-- and my powers were distracting him. When the attackers came, we tried to help, and... well, I saw someone try and attack Edgeworth. So.... I tried to protect him.

[She tugs at a small lock of her hair, anxious. Her voice trails off toward the end as she says; ]

I didn't get too hurt the first time, but... someone took that chance to shoot, I guess...

[To be honest, it's not far from what Kaneda would have done. He's brave, stupid enough to throw himself out there to try and save someone if they were one of his own.

But then again--]

You're pretty damn calm about this--Did you even know you'd come back??!

[He almost cuts her off at that last sentence when he says that, head snapping back to face her.

Like he'd been holding that in this whole time.]

W-well--!

[She's a bit taken by surprise-- no, why is she surprised? Weren't Edgeworth and Tex just as mad?

But Edgeworth she'd fought with many times, and Kaneda? She's never seen Kaneda like this. She can't help but shrink a bit and--]

I didn't-- I didn't know I was gonna die!

[It's true; her own mortality hadn't been a part of the equation at all. Not then, not a few months ago for Espella. Only the knowledge that someone had to help them, and she had to be the one to do it.]

[His reaction surprises him, despite his face not showing it.]

You didn't kno--

[He has to stand now, hand going to his neck--a nervous gesture he'd picked up since arriving here. How couldn't she know?! Yamagata probably stared death in the face, saw and felt the exact moment he was going to die and had to accept it. Maya had to know, especially when she was first shot--there were TWO SHOTS.

SHE KNEW...SHE HAD TO.]

You wouldn't have jumped to save him if you didn't know!

[And that arm moves from his neck out to the side, shoulders hunched, an awkward silence filling the next few seconds.

I didn't know I was gonna die!

Would Yamagata have said the same thing?

He doesn't know, because back there, the world wasn't as forgiving. Not many are, and had this been anywhere else--she wouldn't be here to give that answer.]

I didn't! I wasn't thinking about that!

[It's almost--- not quite whiny, but pleading, like she's trying to make a case.]

I had Edgeworth's powers. It was supposed to be fine! I thought--

[And she stops, gripping at the sheets of the bed and scrunching them up in her hands.

It wasn't like last time. It wasn't like in Labyrinthia, when the iron cage had closed on her-- when the darkness had swallowed her and the heat surrounded her and her stomach had dropped with the fall-- knowing she was going to die, knowing that feeling of panic and despair, even though death had never come. This time she'd simply been in pain one minute and then dead the next, with no time to contemplate, no time to reflect, no time to be afraid.]

I just-- did it, okay? I had to help him!

No, you weren't!

[And truth be told, neither is he right now. He's shutting down that case faster than she can even say it, his eyes practically frantic with...is that panic? Worry? There's something there, certainly, and it's not something Kaneda shows too often. For someone who seemed to live in a constant state of having things under control...it's almost jarring when he doesn't.]

You -died-, alright?

YOU DIED!

[The last part is in angry Japanese...with a hint of exasperation.]

[Maya freezes for a moment, staring at Kaneda with wide eyes, like a deer in the headlights-- no, more like a cat startled in the night. Her entire posture reflects it; her hand raising defensively, her instinctive lean backward.]

Kaneda, I--

[Her protest stops short, because-- because maybe she shouldn't be arguing her case. She didn't know she would, didn't realize he cared enough-- didn't realize that anyone did. Didn't realize that anything would be more than a phone call and an 'are you alright?' and moving on like nothing happened, because--- because it wasn't real. Not permanent, anyway.

But it was clearly real to other people.]

...I'm sorry.

[She pleads, quietly.]

I was just doing what I thought was right.

[An arm slumps against the wall, right by the window as he leans his face into it, covering his eyes a moment. Just...letting himself breathe and recollect. She didn't mean it--she was just doing her best, just like you do, Kaneda. She's not like you, she can't take a bullet, she wasn't meant to, because it shouldn't have happened.

But she did, because that's just who Maya was.

And that's who you are too, Kaneda.]

Dammit.

[There's a soft smile under there as he exhales, giving himself a few more moments before pushing himself off the wall to walk towards her. Coat in his other hand.]

You're not supposed to sound like me.

[With a soft 'thwump', he sits on the bed, right in the center as his elbows lean on his knees, staring at the ground. Between Bull and Maya...it's safe to say sleep hasn't really been something that's existed in the past 24 hours for him, dark circles under his eyes upon further inspection.]

[Maya's shoulders slack a little when she watches him walk; he seems less volatile, so she becomes less guarded immediately. When he sits, she starts shifting immediately-- grumping at her half-tangled sheets for just a moment-- and reaches for his shoulder to keep him from moving away. Freed from her sheets, she scoots closer to him and wraps her arms around him, resting her cheek on his shoulder.]

I dunno. I might sound cooler if I start sounding like you.

[Sheepishly, but sincerely.]

[His body goes rigid the moment those arms are tossed around him, her cheek pressed to his shoulder. Everything that was racing through his mind--thoughts of Yamagata, thoughts of MAYA, the way he saw her at the ambush, all of that stops the moment she grabs him, pulling him into that embrace.]

You're saying that to get out of trouble.

[A joke, but he can't help it, trying to process everything that's going on around him right now. But he's soon to return the gesture. It's slow, and his hands are almost hesitant. As if he's never done this--as if this has never been done to him all that often. Ken had, Ken had a few times. But not enough to where he wasn't surprised by it.

He's a quick learner, though, strong arms wrapping around her in return, holding her securely in his arms, realizing that--yes--he CAN hold her.

She's here. She's alive.

His embrace doesn't let up any time soon, chin resting on the top of her head to just...slow down for one second in the trainwreck that was his life.]

[She sighs lowly once he's settled, keeping her arms wrapped tightly around him, and looks up at the ceiling to try and keep tears from falling from her already-wet eyes.]

I can't help it. I'm good at getting out of trouble.

[She laughs, then, and sniffles, trying to keep her cool. But there's a lot of guilt in that laughter, and it tugs at her throat. The last time she'd hugged someone like this it had been Phoenix, and for similar reasons. She's done it again-- made someone worry more than they needed to, hurt them because of her rash thinking.

She's gotta make it up to him.]

I really am sorry, Kaneda. I mean it.

Edited (nope wrong icon) 2015-12-10 06:46 (UTC)

[There's a soft, almost choked laugh in return, shaking his head as one of those hands snakes its way through that mess of long hair she has. Just to hold on tighter, keep that head close. It'd been a long time, probably October since he'd gotten contact like this.

His heart's still beating fast from his outburst, high on adrenaline and worry as he tries to slow down--finding it harder than he wants to admit to anyone. How do you -stop-?

Maybe he can't just yet.]

You owe me.

[It's whispered, trying to sound as humourous as possible, but all but serious in it's intent.]

[Another little laugh and she sways side to side just slightly a few times, arms around him like she isn't planning on letting go any time soon. She can just barely hear his heartbeat from this close, and can't help but frown. She'd never expected to have to comfort Kaneda about something that was her fault.]

Anything. Name your price.

[She does her best to sound cheerier-- and it starts to sound more natural. This is the same old story; deal with something tough, and then put a smile on.]

[Kaneda's silent for a moment, just letting the touch sink in, maybe holding on as long as he can with this. Call it timing, with what had just happened, but with Ken gone at the house, Capsule and Koromaru with him...

Maybe he missed it more than he let on.

...

But he smiles, chin still on her head as he thinks it over.]

A date.

[Yes, that's legit what he wants.]

Edited 2015-12-10 08:33 (UTC)

[....]

What? Really?

[She isn't sure she gets it. If it's... supposed to be a joke, or not. Because he could ask for anything, and that's what he asks for?

She leans back enough to look at him, shaking her hair out of her face, with a brow raised.]

That's all?

[Dates are just like.

Hanging out, right?

They hang out ??? don't they???????????? did he really think she was going to say no?????]

[What can he say, Maya, he's a man of simple tastes and needs. But when she backs up, shaking her hair, he moves a hand up to brush it out of her eyes, a smile starting to crack on his lips.

That's all?

...Wait.]

What do you mean -THAT'S ALL-?

If anything, I'm giving you the deal of a lifetime!

Edited 2015-12-10 08:46 (UTC)

But it's just a date! I dunno, I thought it was gonna be worse!

[she shrugs her shoulders, looking just... slightly self-conscious, like she's trying to pass off the fact she doesn't know what she's talking about.]

I've never been on a date before. It's. Just like hanging out, right?

We hang out a lot anyway so it's-- just, y'know.

[She gestures, as though he's totally supposed to know what she means.]

[You're killing him here, Maya.]

You've never--YOU'VE never been on a date?!

[Not that that's a bad thing but--where was he going with this, he had a point.]

...It's different. Trust me.

[Of course it was different. They HAVE hung out a lot, sure, but he'd have noticed if they were practically on dates...right?]

I didn't know anybody until I was like, seventeen, Kaneda, it's not that weird!

[why is she pouting about it then...]

Well, if you say so.

Alright, you've got yourself a date.

[SHE'LL DO IT RIGHT, TOO. Just to make it up to him. Just, you know. After she figures out what she's supposed to do on a date.]

Edited (FUCK IT I STILL DIDN'T LIKE IT) 2015-12-10 09:35 (UTC)

Hey! I didn't say it was!

[Look at those hands going up in defense. BE GENTLE MAYA you just alive'd!]

But that's what I like to hear!

[And he's going to make her keep to that too--in his own way. His hand reaches over to take his jacket, which had fallen on the floor when he sat down, reaching up to wrap it around her snugly. It smelled like teen boy and strawberries, and still had a radiating warmth from Kaneda wearing it.

What can he say? Teen boys are also furnaces.]

Here. I'll need it back on our date.

Edited 2015-12-11 08:42 (UTC)

[Well, that suddenly is a warm jacket around her. Maya's surprised, at first-- when's the last time something like that's been done for her? She wasn't even cosmically present when they pulled her-- when they pulled Dahlia-- out of the cavern a few months ago. It's nice, it's a really nice feeling, like being protected, and Maya can't help but huddle up a little in it. Strawberries and teen boy, it turns out, is a pretty ok combo. Even with her surprise fading, she's wide-eyed and grateful. Which, of course, means she has to tease before anything gets weird, okay.]

Strawberries?

[She asks, grinning ear to ear and looking his jacket over.

She can't judge, really.]

[It was unintentional, usually, when he did that. But something about that jacket just felt safe, like they would be safe if he put it around them. Maybe being the leader had that effect on it, or maybe that was just Kaneda's whole mentality to start with.

He protected people. All of him.

But he's confused for a moment, when she asks, letting the jacket hang loosely in his fingertips as he adjusts it around her. It isn't until he connects the two, one hand reaching up to run through his hair.]

My favourite.

when can i see you again?

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i'm always embarrassed by how much of a crybaby she is

meanwhile this asshole hasn't shed a tear in like 10 years

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