maskormenacelogs | closed | a hero's comeback

Entry tags:

closed | a hero's comeback

WHO: sai & naruto.
WHERE: heropa #010.
WHEN: nov 8.
WHAT: catch up time!

[ Boy, does this bring back memories.

It feels like a lifetime since he was here even though it hasn't actually been that long... Or at least he's pretty sure it hasn't? Time might fly way faster here than it does there, and he's not even certain how long he was there, or how long he was here before he was there, or-- no, no it definitely feels colder. It's still humid, still kinda sticky and uncomfortable if he overexerts himself like he had when he burst out of the building with all the men in white coats and all the paperwork and made a beeline straight for the car waiting for him, but it's definitely a significant change. And speaking of change, what's with all the decorations? As he walks he sees the remains of displays and various spooky decorations hanging in dribs and drabs, or being taken down, and he scowls at them. Naruto might have kind of missed the strange modern world he'd been thrust into earlier in the year, but that doesn't mean he's any less confused by it, even now.

Aside from being befuddled by outdoors decor, Naruto manages to locate his old housing easily. Which would have been great if he'd been placed there. Who's genius idea was it to put him in the house directly next door to his old one? He'd never remember that in a hurry. He's going to get arrested for breaking and entering into an apartment he's sure is his somewhere down the line, just watch. It's convenient, at least, that he's in the same neighbourhood since it means less issues navigating a map he hadn't had much time to get used to, and has pretty much forgotten entirely in his absence.

Unsurprisingly, he doesn't spend long in his room. It's lonely and dim and it smells way too clean. He'd actually forgotten what a dark, empty home felt like for a second there, and he doesn't want to stay there longer than he has to. There are other, more positive, things on his mind; after sprawling and scrolling the network for a little while to catch up on the updates of those he remembers, he's bounding out of the door again to race toward the next house, rapping hard on the door.

After a short while - definitely not long enough to warrant impatient shouting - he yells through the wood, a grin splitting his face. ] Sai! C'mon, come to the door, I know you're in there! [ He doesn't know, so he might just be sitting here yelling for the next hour or so. He hasn't even considered using his communicator. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It'll be about fifteen minutes of banging and yelling, all told. Sai found it more convenient to keep his government assigned job than to search for a new one, so he still goes to it, when he's not at school. The library is where he spends most of his free time, but he still comes home, on occasion. If only to lurk on the roof and people-watch.

He hears him before he sees him. Sai thinks, at first, that maybe there are still some lingering effects left over from that gas back in August. He hasn't heard anything of it from the other imPorts, so it's unlikely, but how else would he explain hearing that voice when he knows perfectly well it is no longer present within Heropa?

But then he sees him, in all his orange-clad glory, sees the post on the network when he checks--just to be sure--and something strange happens.

His chest tightens up and yet feels inexplicably lighter, almost like he's just completed a battle or a training session, but not quite. That momentary flutter certainly didn't match with any sensation he can recognize, and Sai knows he's physically in perfect health.

Sai doesn't really have words in his vocabulary for the way it feels when he walks up those steps, utterly silent, and places a hand on Naruto's shoulder--]

--Boo.

[But the smile he's wearing as he does it is entirely real, even a little impish. There's a warmth to it that makes him look young, for once, like maybe he's really sixteen.

Sai doesn't really comprehend loneliness. He doesn't know how to describe the experience of being the only shinobi in a world that cannot understand him on any level. But he knows sensation, and Naruto Uzumaki is like a warm summer day, but on the inside. It's comfortable and relaxing, and he realizes with a sudden aching certainty that it's been so long since he last felt it--the presence intensifying its former absence, like a man lost in the desert finally finding his first drop to drink.]

Edited 2015-11-06 08:42 (UTC)

[ Naruto is a little too excited to put much thought into the genuine nature of Sai's smile, even if it does look a little weird on his face - the good kind of weird, but still pretty weird. Instead Naruto spins like he's been shocked and has the expression to go with it. Despite being a ninja Naruto is somehow never more prepared for a surprise than the next guy; he often forgets to sense the chakra around him in his own world, let alone here where chakra welders are in limited supply, and he isn't exactly the best at forward thinking. That is to say, when Sai sneaks up on him, Naruto screams. ]

Sai! [ He's mad for about a second or so, then he's matching Sais smile and then some, letting it split his face as he claps both hands on Sai's shoulders to give him a little shake. ] Hi! I'm back!

[ He kind of feels bad for not coming straight here to break down Sai's door - hypothetically... probably - and let his teammate know that he's back and in one piece... As usual he got carried away with the big picture, but he's here now, and.. he can't lie and say he hasn't missed him. ]

[Sai doesn't laugh, not really, because it's been so very long that he's sort of forgotten how to. But his mouth opens, just slightly, and a soft noise leaves his throat. For once, he doesn't question it. ]

You're back. [he repeats, quietly, almost like he's saying it to himself, rather than Naruto. He's missed him too, even though he doesn't have the vocabulary to express it with. Existing as an individual is difficult for him, especially here. Much as he might want to learn about bonds, without people like Naruto or Sakura around, he inevitably ends up leading a mostly solitary existence.

(...Though there was that strange boy who invited him to a Halloween party. If Sai were self-aware enough, he might stop to wonder how the rare few he manages to connect with are so often like Naruto himself)

A few more beats of peaceful, companionable silence pass, and then:]

...Did you lose your key already?

[Look, it's a perfectly reasonable assumption, okay.

I came here plannin' to surprise you and you get there first! That's rude, ya know! You musta seen me knockin' when you were comin' up the stairs, you could at least let me have this one. You're always spookin' me!

[ While Sai is processing Naruto is muttering to himself - albeit a little too loud to actually be considered muttering - mostly to make himself feel better after Sai outright scared him and wounded his already kind of crippled dignity. When Sai speaks up, however, he's stumped out of his defence and stares at his teammate in dumbfounded silence for a moment. ]

Eh?! [ Then he's scowling again. ] You're gonna sneak up on me and then insult me too? You're a shitty welcome back party, ya know that? [ It takes him a brattish arms-folded moment to relent; the excitement quickly overwhelms his ire and he folds easily with only a trace of a pout in his voice. ] Nah, I got my keys. I'm next door now, in number nine. [ He jerks his thumb in the direction of the house as if Sai needs the help. ] I dunno why... Has someone moved into my room here?

Edited 2015-11-08 20:00 (UTC)

It seemed fitting, considering the recent holiday.

[Though he understands this one even less than the others. Civilians have so many holidays. Naruto's histrionics are mostly allowed to go unremarked, though he can't help but smirk a little. It's strange, but the babbling and flailing and yelling only seems appropriate. Like there was something out of place that has now slotted back in, and things are as they were supposed to be.]

Nobody new has arrived here, as far as I am aware. But I don't spend very much time here, either.

[There hasn't been much point, after all. Nobody to spend time with here means all the useful things he could be doing are outside.]

Oh, the Halloween thing? [ He pauses for a moment of consideration. He's still bummed about missing it, especially since it was so close to his birthday (he thinks; time flows weird and he's done so much shifting between worlds recently that he's kind of boggled by it all) and... he can't ever deny a good prank, but he also doesn't like being scared. He bats his hands in a proverbial 'whatever'. ]

--Whaaat, ya don't even know the people livin' with you? [ He smacks his hand against Sai's arm as he finally lets his shoulders go, instead folding them as he leans his butt against the door. ] See, this is why you still come off so weird. I know you know how to make friends, so don't even try that one. [ This is probably Naruto's way of beginning to say that he's sorry for disappearing, and that he hopes Sai was looking after himself while he was gone, and that he wants Sai to be surrounded by people that could make him happy, etc. Probably. He'll get to the real thing later. ]

Anyways, [ he bumps his shoulderblades against the door. ] Ya gonna let me in or what?

Yes. I don't quite understand the purpose of it, though.

[Candy and costumes and pumpkins and fictional monsters? How do any of those things go together? Whatever. Sai still has a tiny, enigmatic smile on his lips as he turns the key in the lock, opening the door to let Naruto inside.]

I'm not so certain about that, Naruto.

[He's friends with you, and he has a certain level of common ground with other Konoha shinobi, but the civilians here are confusing, and the same is true vice versa.]

...There was a man named Altair at one point, but he's long since been Ported out. [A mild shrug]

Have you met your roommates yet?

[So he can lurk on your roof and spy on y'all.]

[ He enters like he owns the place, striding into the floorspace with the kind of decided presence that he's probably very well known for by now in both this world and his own. ]

Eh, didn't I just tell you not to try that, huh? You've read books on it, right? It ain't that hard, you made friends before I got here. What about that, uh, Kitty person, and the other people that mention you? People talk about you all the time to me. [ Naruto has a very find distinction between acquaintance and friend, and often assumes one is the other - typically in his favor - when it suits him. If Naruto's thinking was the way everyone else thought, Sai would be a very popular guy indeed. ] You're great when you're not bein' weird, I'm sure they'll like you. [ That's.. probably a compliment? Sai should maybe feel a bit complimented. ]

But nah, not yet. Haven't had the time, y'know. I went to eat, then I went home, then I came here. You're the first person I've met today! Other than the food guy. [ Doesn't that make you feel special, Sai? You and the food guy are right up there on Naruto's list of priorities.

He bounces on his heels for a moment as he turns to face his teammate, an impish grin twisting his face. ] Sooooo.... [ He giggles. ] You missed me, huh?

[It doesn't bother Sai in the slightest, honestly. It's a little like...a breath of fresh air, in this place that's usually so empty.

The comment about people mentioning him "all the time" throws him a bit, though. Most of the few connections he'd made in this world had long since Ported out. Kitty remained, yes, and there was Minato, though they rarely spoke, so...who was talking about him all the time?]

Which people?

[It's spoken with an uncharacteristic hesitancy about him, an uncertainty that's almost...shy? He's honestly perplexed by this whole thing, and it hasn't quite struck him that it's really just Naruto being Naruto about an offhand comment Riku made.]

You realize we are both very "weird" by the standards of this world, don't you? There are many here who would be appalled by the mere fact that you have ever held a kunai, Naruto, simply because you are younger than eighteen.

[In other words, it's not as easy as all that for him. He can't just waltz into someone's life and leave them forever changed like you can, bro.

And Sai is doubly disadvantaged here, in the end. He was already behind in terms of social interaction back in their own world, and here, he's lacking even in the shared context they all used to have. Konoha, the shinobi system, the desire to protect the village, chakra... they have none of that, here.

Which...sort of ties into Naruto's other question, honestly. There's a loneliness he's experienced here that Sai would not have a name for if he looked for one. He's adrift in a world in which none of them belong, but he even less than most. They cannot understand him, and he barely understands anything about them on a good day.

So there's been a definite lack in his life. A dark, gaping maw of absence where light once was. Light and life and energy that tied him to something and gave him somewhere to go.

Before Naruto, he hadn't truly existed. Not for a very long time. And then he did, and he'd had to exist without him. Was that what "missing" someone felt like? His lips upturn in a ghost of a smile. Then:]

...Hm. I suppose I did.

Aaah, I know ya did! [ Naruto's face is a beacon of light and he gives Sai a little punch on the arm as if Sai is being modest. Unable to focus on more than one thing at a time, he sticks with this tangent. ] I saw your post, y'know, and people told me ya were sad I was gone.

[ That... actually makes his smile fall a bit, and he wanders into the room a little more like he's searching blindly for something.

Hey look, a convenient couch he can sprawl on! He flops backwards, legs over one arm and his shoulders over the other. He obviously has no intention of moving for a while. It's strange, but only now does Naruto feel settled, and not because now is the first time he's actually settled down since he got here. Surrounded by an aura he finds so familiar, around sounds and voices and feelings he's used to after the heady feeling that he's been away or asleep for a long time is more comforting than anything he could have imagined, and he exhales. ]

I didn't mean to go, y'know. I kept hearin' about people leavin' but I didn't think it'd be me any time soon. [ He shrugs his head into his shoulders, a sulk crossing his features. ]

[Which people tho......

That curiosity will probably go unanswered, it seems, as Naruto has already moved on. He makes a softly amused sound as Naruto flops himself over on the couch, and he moves to settle down beside him, a sort of fondness in his eyes that his face can't properly express, inexperienced as it is with such things.]

I know. No one ever does. If you were the one to figure out how to do so voluntarily, [and he respects the hell out of you, bro, but you're still not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed] I'm certain you would have informed the rest of us.

Yeah.. I guess. But then a lotta people would leave, wouldn't they? And go home?

[ He's not sure how he feels about that. He wants more than anything to be back in his own world defending the leaf, chasing Sasuke and supporting his friends but.. He has friends that he wants to support here too, and some of their homeworlds sound worse than anything that could befall them here. He's not sure if he wants them to go home, whether for selfish reasons or otherwise.

Then, a thought hits him. ]

Did ya know there's a war goin' on at home?! [ He kind of blurts that out. He probably should have been much gentler than that, but there it is. ] I figure that's what Hinata meant when she said battle, y'know, and about slappin' me. She didn't do it yet, but I didn't get to the fightin' before I came back here, so I guess she's gonna do that soon probably.

They would. ...Isn't that something you want as well, Naruto? To go home?

[That's sure as heck been Sai's goal from day one, anyway. Sai is a little uncertain what he would do if Naruto said he wished to stay here; he doesn't mind living in this place, but he doesn't belong here. He can't live a settled civilian life like Naruto or Hinata can.

The next question, however, catches him off-guard--especially in light of the last one.]

...I did. I haven't experienced it myself, but I heard of it from Kakashi-san while he was here.

[A. Pause.]

Hinata-san did not wish for you to know of it.

[But whelp, that ~~fox~~ cat is out of the bag now.]

I already went home, didn't I? And I'm here now. I wanna be wherever I am, y'know.

[ That's such a hard question for him to answer, so he does so in his own special way; giving a conclusion without actually getting anywhere. Of course he wants to be in his own world where he can fight to protect those he cares about... but with every day that passes he's realising that the people he's met here need him just as much, and his loyalties are tied between the two places. ]

Yeah, I figured. She was real tight lipped about it at the party when she musta thought I already knew. But then so was everyone back in our world - they kept me on an island and told me to do loads of stupid stuff to keep me busy while they did the fightin' for me, like I couldn't do it myself.. like they didn't trust me or somethin'.. [ He looks... almost put out by that. He's still not sure if the burn has eased any with understanding, or if he's just as offended as he was when he first found out. ] I know they just wanted to protect me, but I wanted to protect them and they didn't get it.

[ The answer to the question he's hovering on probably won't give him much clarity, but Naruto has never been one for forethought, so he asks: ]

How'd it make you feel? When you found out what happens?

Edited 2015-12-28 21:51 (UTC)

So it...does not matter to you if you leave or not?

[Sai is a little. unsure how to react to that. Unlike Naruto, Sai hasn't really developed any real attachments to this world. He's fond of Kitty Jones, true, and there's a few others he likes well enough, but he would leave them behind without much of a thought if he could return to Konoha.

Naruto's question, though--he is even less sure how to react to that. Mostly because his immediate answer is that he didn't really feel much, except for a strange sensation of understanding exactly why they wanted to keep it secret. And, he remembers, he'd asked specifically about whether Sasuke was alive. He found he needed to know if all of Naruto's hopes were in vain.]

Feel? About the war?

[It's difficult, because he knows Naruto is looking for an answer that a regular person could give. Perhaps something to sort out his own emotions about it, if he's reading the situation correctly. But of all the things Sai knows how to lie about, he can't falsify emotions he doesn't feel. He wouldn't know where to start.]

I was surprised about Uchiha Madara's revival, and his particular intentions, but other than that...not much. [There's something a little apologetic in his tone, there; he knows it's not a good answer for someone like Naruto, who feels so strongly about everything.]

It was perhaps inevitable that we would come into conflict with the Akatsuki. They were seeking to collect all the jinchuuriki, after all, and Konoha would never have been willing to surrender you without a fight.

[A slight pause.]

You must understand, Naruto, that nobody believed you could not fight for yourself.

[He didn't even know anything about Naruto being kept away on an island, but it makes perfect sense to him for the Hokage to have made such a call.]

It is simply that your value as a jinchuuriki, and thus a crucial component of Madara's plan, far outweighs your potential contribution as a shinobi of Konoha. The risk of your capture or death is simply far too great.

It matters, but I can't do anythin' about it, right? [ He looks almost stung by that one. His chest goes big, his arms flung wide like he's deflecting blows, getting defensive. ] I got pulled away from home once, then pulled away from home to come back here, an' while I was at home I couldn't remember anythin' that happened here.. I can't do anythin' about any of it, so if I'm here for another year or a month or a few days or a few more minutes, then so be it! They can put years and years between me and Sasuke and I'll still find him when I get back, an' I'll still fight and I'll still be Hokage.

[ A pause. ]

I wanna go home, 'cos I miss everyone. But I think if I'd known about it then I woulda missed everyone here too. [ Sai, why you gotta ask him big questions?

He sighs, a big exhale through his nose, then focuses determinedly on the second part of their conversation. ]

I know they know I can fight, I just wish they woulda let me. I'm a jinchuuriki, but I'm a part of the village too. I could have protected everyone, I coulda done some good, I'm not just gonna let myself go down and let him destroy the people I care about!

[There's...a pause, because damn, he has a hard enough time with Emotions without having to run them through his mental Narutoese filter too.]

...You want to go home, then, but you do not wish to make the decision to do so. You do not want to choose our world over this one.

[That's not how Sai feels about it. He knows exactly where he stands on the matter of here vs. home, but that is perhaps the difference between them. Naruto can make bonds even in a world to which he doesn't belong, or even understand. He understands people and connects to them, and that's an ability Sai simply does not possess.]

Of course you are part of the village, Naruto. But tell me, does the Hokage fight in every battle? Does she participate in every mission? Simply because she remains behind in the village does not mean she is accomplishing nothing.

There is value in knowing when not to act, too.

[ He ignores the first part of their conversation for the time being, much more frustrated by the second. Besides, answering that assumption Sai had made is difficult for him to even begin to process. He would always belong in Konoha but coming back and realising that he'd forgotten everyone had hurt; it made him feel like the way that people looked at him, the bonds he'd made and the people he'd fought to protect and bring out of their individual darknesses meant nothing. It makes his heart hurt just to think about it. ]

Yeah, but she steps in when things get tough, she doesn't let her people die, she protects the people she cares about! [ He stands up, his eyes full of a fire that might have made even Kyuubey impressed. ] She doesn't just sit on an island bein' useless, doin' some fake task just to keep herself busy! I wasn't doing /anything/ to help and while I wasn't doin' anythin' my friends were in danger!!

[He allows the subject to drop there, allowing Naruto's silence to serve as confirmation of his conclusion.

What Naruto actually says, though....Sai actually sighs audibly.]

Do you truly believe she does not allow people to die? Death is inevitable in war, Naruto. To believe it can be avoided is nothing short of foolishness.

Sometimes, it is necessary to make sacrifices. The Third and Fourth knew this well, when they sacrificed themselves for the safety of the village. The thing you must understand is that if you do not fight, yes, there are people who will die that you might have been able to protect.

But if you are captured--which is not an insignificant possibility, do not forget it has happened to the Kazekage himself--and the Kyuubi's power is harnessed by the enemy, then so many more people will die than you can even imagine. It is that calculation that the Fifth Hokage has made in ordering you to stay back.

I understand it is difficult for you, personally, not to fight, but it it is in the best interests of the village.

[ He looks like he's trying not to bubble over while Sai speaks, like it's taking all he has to not interrupt him with more yelling.. but he perseveres, his balled fists shaking. ]

I know. I know that if I got caught an' they.. and what happened to Gaara happened, then it'd make everythin' worse and more people would die than keepin' me safe someplace else.. [ He hangs his head, but his expression is still twisted with frustration. He keeps it there for a long time while he formulates what he wants to say next carefully.

When he's done, he looks up, and looks at Sai with that same firey look. ]

But if people die when I coulda protected them... I can't let that happen. I'm not foolish, I know people die... My parents died an' Jiraiya-sensei died, I get that it happens and it has to happen sometimes, but what about when it doesn't? When all it'd take is me sharin' what I can do, and that'd save someone. Even if it's just a villager, even if I've never spoken to 'em in my life, even if they're one of the ones who used to glare at me in the street!! No-one's not worth saving, or at least trying.

[Meanwhile, for once Sai doesn't look entirely dispassionate himself. It's subtle, but the edges of impatience are starting to creep in.]

Deaths don't have to happen, Naruto. They just happen. Even with your prodigious power, they will still happen. If you split your chakra excessively among your shadow clones, you'll make yourself vulnerable to the Akatsuki. If you do not produce enough shadow clones, on the other hand, then you simply will not be able to protect everyone at the same time.

I'm certain that no one will be able to stop you, given that you have already made up your mind, but remember this: if you become Hokage someday, you will need to make similar decisions, and when you do so, you will need to act in the overall interest of the village. Sometimes, that will have to mean the loss of lives you could otherwise have saved.

Just 'cos that's always the way it's been done, doesn't mean that's how I'm gonna do it. When I'm Hokage--

[ When, Sai, not if. ]

I'm not gonna do things how my dad did, or how the old man did, or how Lady Tsunade did. I'm gonna get stronger every day, and I'll protect my village and everyone in it. I don't need shadow clones to protect everyone now, I can share my cloak with 'em, and I can keep learnin' better ways to do what needs to happen, and I can keep everyone safe, just you wait.

[ He doesn't even recognise the impatience Sai is starting to feel - he's pretty used to ignoring impatience after all - and he isn't budging. When does he ever? This like most of his battles, is not something he's willing to let go easily. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

closed | a hero's comeback

dumps 500 feelings on your head uwu

replies on my way to work because i have feelings and they're your fault

just as planned

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject