{ 𝕒 } boomerang generation

[theminotaur]

WHO: Residents of Casa Ludgate-Graham & invited guests!
WHERE: Casa Ludgate-Graham
WHEN: Afternoon to evening of Saturday, Aug 8
WHAT: Abigail's 19th (???) Birthday Party!
WARNINGS: Um, Baltimore tbh?

-

While technically Abigail is unsure of how old she is -- there are too many missing months between Baltimore and Heropa and more between Heropa and Heropa -- nineteen is close enough and probably makes up for those missing months. Maybe.

But like Jeff said, it's foolproof.

She huffs and puffs about no party, but then Will made that face and she begrudgingly gave in so long as it was just a cook out and there were no streamers or balloons. Which is why the backyard is decked out with fairy lights and Chinese lanterns and a piñata in the shape of a llama, which she is not complaining about, and another in the shape of a bumblebee, which she vaguely protests because bees are good!

Cheeseburgers and hot dogs and chicken and other assorted barbecued meats are on the grill, there are bowls of macaroni salad, potato salad, pasta salad, regular salad, and a truly ridiculous amount of grilled veggies on the table out back. There are coolers full of soda and probably beer, tbh. The other alcohol is inside so the youths won't get it, presumably. At least that's what they're going with. Somewhere in the kitchen is a cake with candles.

Also there are dogs. And raccoons, both adult and funsize. And an impossibly fluffy cat who thinks she's a raccoon by now. But that seems to be the norm at the Ludgate-Graham home.


{ ooc: party post style, y'all. make a top level, tag around, be merry. make shit up on the menu. go cray. }

Comments

[kinesia]

[ Although he hasn't said so, it's a relief to Grey to see Thomas up and about. He's been worried that the loss of Newt and Minho had hit his friend too hard. Grief is a terrible, incapacitating thing. Grey knows. He also knows that it never really goes away; that it sticks, and chooses the worst times to remind you that it's there. That's nothing that can be helped. The person who's still around needs to keep living, and accept the fact of the people who have gone. It's no easy thing.

But people help. People are loud and fun and friendly, and gatherings like this one make for a very good distraction. This party gets extra points for the fact that it's made Thomas smile again.

Having left him for a while, Grey eventually returns with a raccoon climbing across his shoulders and a plate of Will's burgers in either hand. He holds one out to Thomas in a determined sort of way, which means that you'll refuse it at your peril. You'll need the energy for breaking into that pinata later. Grey is already planning violence for that event. ]

[shuckit]

[ for a lot of things, thomas doesn't even need to be in grey's head anymore to get the message. the forceful sort of way he shoves food at him, for instance, having that kind of aggressive nurturing that grey likes to do. it always inspires a kind of fondness in him. for grey to have come from such a horrible place and stull have so much compassion in him. ]

Thanks, man. I'm starving.

[ taking the offered plate, he takes a big bite out of the burger, comical kind of big, and grins at his friend around hamburger bun still sticking out of his mouth. see? he's eating. ]

You get some yet? [ muffled through burger. ]

[kinesia]

[ Grey holds up the other plate by way of answer. He eats a lot more than he used to, but it's still considerably less than what's probably normal. He doesn't care. He's never hungry anymore, and that's an amazing thing.

He eats around the burger, while fending off advances from the opportunistic raccoon. Eventually, he pulls off around a quarter and gives it to the animal, which finally settles around him like a living scarf. He's probably spoiling them all. ]

Do you feel better?

[ Some of these words show up, faintly, on his skin. He's focusing on them, and that's become fairly natural by now, but it's still Thomas' mind he reaches for. ]

Teresa is here.

[ You know, in case you weren't aware. She makes things better for you, right? ]

[shuckit]

[ with grey, thomas has come to be sort of always 'listening'. not streaming his consciousness 24/7, but like there's some mental attention paid to him. like looking at someone when they enter a room. so he gets the words easily, letting his lips quirk into a brief, lopsided smile, before answering. ]

Yeah. It's... [ hard to say. he's never been great at communicating, but that's what's awesome about grey. he doesn't have to talk, just think. a feeling of conflict tugs at his words, like he's both hopeful and also feeling guilty for that hope. like he wants to enjoy this, but he can't feel like it's right, when there's so many missing. ] I dunno. It still kinda feels like it's not really happening. Like I'll wake up and be back in the labs.

[ he frowns for a moment, picking at the burger on his plate. ]

I want to be here, but I don't want to forget. You know?

[kinesia]

You won’t forget.

[ Grey is certain of that. Death stays with you. You can’t just walk away from it. You have to carry it, and carry the people it’s touched along with yourself. What they meant to you never goes away, and the hole they’ve left behind is never really filled. It’s why Grey had heard Pan’s music. Why he can be surrounded by crowds and still feel alone. Why no matter how many friends he makes here, it still feels like so many are missing.

It would be nice if he could tell Thomas he was wrong, but they both know he’s not. He could wake up back in the labs, at any time. There is something else, though, something that’s overlooked. Grey looks down at his right hand. In the palm, there’s a long, thin scar, from the knife that had passed straight through it. Shortly afterwards, that knife had also pierced his heart, and he has a matching scar on his chest to prove it. Those are the marks of death. His fingers close, brushing that scar. Abigail always hides her scars. She doesn’t like people to see. Grey is the very opposite, seeing them as badges of honour. Reminders that he’d survived, for the most part, and in the case of these two, reminders that he’d died. ]

He could come back. They could all come. If I can be here, they could be here.

[shuckit]

[ listening to grey, hovering around in his mind, thomas doesn't think he could forget - not the parts that haunt him. the screams, the blood, the lifeless bodies and empty eyes. maybe what he's more afraid of is having the safety and happiness that they'd died trying to get to, when he couldn't get them to it with him.

maybe it's a lot of things. a lot of things he doesn't know how to pull apart in his head and... deal with. other than just swallow down and let it fester quietly, while acting normal otherwise. at least, until he snaps. that hasn't been great in the past. maybe he does need to go look up one of those therapist people. as loathe as he is to the thought.

thomas's eyes follow grey's hand, looking over the scar, and the one on his chest that matches it. grey doesn't have a life to go back to either. if he leaves, he goes back to death. like newt. even the best friend he has here isn't someone he can completely hold on to. part of him wants to despair at that, the part of him that's been through too much already, so tired of losing people, and ready to expect what he has now won't last either. but that's not the part of him that got him through the trials alive, or out of the maze, or here. the part of thomas that's kept him alive, and took apart wicked, is the one that reminds him - if you figure out the porter, they won't be taken away. figure out the porter, get newt back, keep teresa here, keep grey here. maybe even bring chuck. ]

They could. As long as we don't control the Porter, though, no one's safe. [ gradually, the determination to fight, to keeping trudging forward and ignore the odds, is starting to build in him again. so much of that will has been broken down, and maybe distracting yourself from loss by finding a new project isn't that helathy, but it's something. ] I'm sick of having people taken away. I'm sick of letting our lives get played with.

[kinesia]

[ Grey nods. He knows. He’s always known. He has heard this rhetoric all his life. There is a fight to be fought, and he is the one who holds the knife. There is a way for people who have no control to take control, and there is hardship, but they can fight, and at the end of it all, they can be free.

Those concepts are all in his head, have always been in his head. He was raised on Gilliam’s politics. He has never had any doubt of them; he had died for them, and he’d die for them again. Even in the tail, there had been people who doubted, who thought that no rebellion could ever win and that they would have no chance. But they had still done it, because there was nothing else to do.

Gilliam had known the catalyst they needed, and because of that, Grey knows it too. ]

Then be the leader. [ His face is determined, his jaw tight, his eyes fierce. From the day he met this boy, Grey has seen him as someone to follow. ] It has to be you because you understand. You have to be the leader and I will follow you. We will beat them. We will take our lives back and we will decide how we live them. Be the leader, Thomas.

[shuckit]

I'm not a good leader.

[ he admits, after a moment, blinking up at grey, with uncertainty, before he shakes his head, glancing back down at the plate in his hands again. ]

I only did it because their wasn't another choice, but look at how much we lost. [ he did it because WICKED steered him towards it. they wanted him to take the lead - it was all part of the plan they'd built. every act of rebellion, every drastic move he thought he was taking - it was everything they were looking for. just another set of variables. what can he even really trust about hismelf anymore? ]

I'm not like Kate or Curtis or anyone. [ Curtis he knows from all he's seen of Grey's admiration for him in his head. There was just a face for a long time, but it's easy to pick up a name. He know Grey thought of him as someone brave and righteous, someone worth following. Thomas isn't that. He barely even knows what's wrong and right anymore. ]

All I am is stubborn.

[kinesia]

[ Grey isn’t actually put off by that. He shakes his head, insistent. ]

Curtis didn’t want to lead either. He didn’t think he could do it. He was stubborn, too.

[ He doesn’t ask how Thomas knew the name. He has free access to what’s in Grey’s head; Grey is not protective of any of it. They are only his thoughts, it’s only his mind. Thomas can know as much as he needs to know; from that perspective, Grey is an open book. ]

Gilliam had to make him believe. You have to believe, too. We need stubborn. We need you.

[shuckit]

[ he listens, nodding his head. gilliam - the one grey loved. the one he lost. thomas knows how that feels, now. new before, with chuck, but not to the same degree. not to what teresa was to him. not in the new way, waking up again in heropa, and knowing she's only alive here before of an impermanent miracle. he resists the urge to look over to here, where she's chatting with abigail.

gilliam must have been a good man. inspirational, to get someone as stubborn as thomas is, if grey's right in him and curtis sharing that, to do something as extreme as lead them all into revolt. like newt to him, he thinks. newt, who struggled so hard just to keep going, had always pushed thomas to be what they needed him to be. shuck but he misses him, and it aches in his chest like a festering wound. ]

Okay. I can do that. I can be stubborn. [ he looks up to grey again, a small, sad smile almost apologetic in a way, on his lips. ]

As long as you need me, I'm here to be that. Whatever I have to be. Okay?

[ if nothing else, that is the least he can do. grey still needs someone to keep him here, and thomas has to do that. leaving here means dying, for grey, and for all those thomas couldn't save before, he cannot stop trying now. not with someone as dear to him as grey. ]

[kinesia]

[ Grey has never doubted that Gilliam was a good man. He has never had any reason to doubt it, and any suggestion otherwise is something he would vehemently reject. Grey is torn between missing Gilliam, and trying to act the way he thinks Gilliam would want him to.

Surely that includes encouraging leadership in someone like Thomas. It feels right, to him.

Grey nods. ]

I'll always follow you.

We'll be okay, Thomas.